I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

Author: Sheila Morris

  • Winners Announced for Third Annual Memorable Quotes Contest!


    007Attention Quote-a-holics – this year’s entries in the Memorable Quotes contest were the BEST, and the judge’s mind has been reeling from sifting through the quotes to pick the winners. So many quotes, so few prizes – who made these rules anyway?

    Oh, that’s right. I did.

    And just like I made them, I can break them. That’s the beauty of self-rules.

    Therefore, I hereby declare a five-way tie for 1st place and will allow each winner to pick one of these three prizes that I planned to award to the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners: the audio version of Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing read by the author who would be moi, my most recent book The Short Side of Time or my personal favorite I’ll Call It Like I See It: A Lesbian Speaks Out. 

    Here are the stellar Top Five Quotes and the Quote-a-holics that submitted them in the order they were received:

    “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”  Margaret Mead submitted by Lisa Martin

    “Hope is the thing with feathers

    That perches in the soul

    And sings the tune without the words

    And never stops at all.” Emily Dickinson submitted by Melissa Bech

    “We don’t pay enough attention to the words ‘over’ and ‘next.’ When something is over, it’s over, and we are on to next. If there were a hammock in the middle, between over and next, that would be what’s meant by living in the moment.” Norman Lear submitted by Maggie Seibel

    “Love never dies, it merely sleeps…then wakes, drinks a few beers, watches a good film and has a laugh with its buddy Respect.

    Respect wore a mask, Hope lied and Circumstances gave way to Opportunity. Reality appeared, and KO – ed Love, destroying All Worth.” Original submitted by Dani J Caile

    “It took me years to understand that words are often as important as experience, because words make experience last.” Willie Morris submitted by Suzanne Christensen

    And these are the next five awesome Runners-Up quotes in the order they were received:

    “By the time I’m thin, fat will be in.” sign on a cafe wall submitted by Warren Wood

    “When you start studying yourself  too deeply, you start seeing things that maybe you don’t want to see. And if there’s a rhyme and reason, people can figure you out, and once they can figure you out, you’re in big trouble.” Donald Trump via Bill Canaday submitted by Jim Blanton

    “There’s a disco in discomfort.” submitted by Big Sugar Night

    “The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” Bertrand Russell submitted by Bob Williamson

    “When they go low, we go high.” Michelle Obama submitted by Debbie Long and LeighAnne Thacker Cogdill*

    And there you have them – Memorable Quotes for every occasion and the occasional Memorable Quote. They are the crown jewels, the pearls of wisdom and the gold nuggets of truth that are the keys to happiness…okay, now I’ve gone too far. At any rate, they are all entertaining with a hint of enlightenment. What else could you ask for in a quote…

    Enjoy and be collecting now for next year’s contest!

    Thank you so much to all who participated and to all who follow us faithfully in cyberspace. Bless your hearts.

    Stay tuned.

    *My apologies to LeighAnne Thacker Cogdill for not listing her for the Michelle Obama quote, also. I ain’t right, and I’m the first to admit it. Thanks for understanding!

     

  • Vetting Morning


    The first thing I like to do when I wake up is vet the morning.

    What day are you? Are you sure?

    What do you remember about last night? Do you remember your dreams? What about yesterday? Aha. Got you on yesterday.

    What’s your weather like? Which leads me to my first song of the day…Days may be cloudy or sunny, you’re in or you’re out of the money…I’m gonna love you, come rain or come shine. Of course you are. That’s what you always say first thing in the morning about your weather and btw, you’re no Sarah Vaughan or Sinatra.

    What’s that? No, you can’t ask any questions or make any comments on your own.

    What? What? Did you say GOOD? Especially that one.

    Whatever you do, don’t say good to me yet. I don’t know you from Adam’s house cat. You may be good – you may not be good. So don’t get started with GOOD before I am ready to make that call.

    So far, I’m unimpressed.

     

  • Guess Who’s Coming to the Al Smith Dinner?


     

    002

    Okay. So raise your small hands (or medium or large ones) if you’ve never even heard of the Al Smith dinner until last night.

    Aha. I see those hands, as the Southern Baptist revival preachers used to say from the pulpit during the altar call or “invitation” as we called it back then when we sat on the small wooden pews with the large ceiling fans moving too slowly to stir the air in the Texas summer heat – even in a church as tiny as ours was in the 1950s. The revival preacher would be hotter than a two-dollar pistol when he was preaching about the fire and brimstone hell would bring to all sinners who refused to repent that  very night – who knew if you would make it until the next night of the week-long revival…

    “Bow your heads. Close your eyes, and pray,” he would say as he grabbed for the white handkerchief in his suit pocket to wipe the sweat dripping from his forehead to the tip of his nose. “Now with every head bowed and every eye closed, just raise your hand if you know you are a sinner bound for hell unless you get right with God tonight. That’s it. Just slip that hand on up right where you are without anyone looking. Yes, I see that hand.”

    And so did I.

    Because of course, I had to look. My head was bowed, but my eyes were not closed. I confess I wanted to know who was going to hell. I wanted to make sure all the people I loved weren’t raising their hands and I was always particularly focused on one of my uncles who was suspect.

    Last night’s Al Smith Catholic Charities dinner also ended with a prayer, but it was a benediction – not an altar call. The Al Smith fundraiser takes place every four years during the political campaign season and gives the two presidential candidates an opportunity to meet on neutral ground breaking bread together and sharing a few jokes to make fun of themselves in front of a thousand people who paid $6 million dollars to hear them. You know, jokes, as in funny hahaha or lol if you prefer.

    Unfortunately, this year’s Al Smith dinner was the night after the final presidential debate which was the conclusion of three such meetings that were all notorious for the brutal exchanges between the two candidates. Mean, mean and not a dancing machine between them. But here they were having dinner at a long table with only a Catholic Cardinal between them. I pitied Cardinal Dolan. He tried so hard to divide his conversation evenly between the two of them that his head was actually spinning and his little red cap fell off. Uh, oh. Bad sign.

    The candidates both proved they weren’t comedians but did get a few laughs – and a few boos. It’s really difficult to be booed at the Al Smith dinner, but DT didn’t get the memo about the event being just for fun and engaged in inappropriate behavior and mean-spirited attacks against Secretary Clinton that provoked loud boos. Imagine that. Rudy Giuliani didn’t get the memo to smile when he was on camera. Tsk. Tsk. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.

    I have a really good friend named Donna who didn’t see the dinner on TV last night but woke up this morning to the clips that showed the jokes that were more insults than funny haha and she texted me that she was so disgusted with the campaign she was going to shut down her Facebook and TV altogether until the election is over…maybe forever.

    I totally get that. But here’s the thing. We are now less than three weeks away from November 8th. We are in the home stretch. This will end for almost everyone on election day so don’t throw up your hands whatever size they are now because I will be looking to see if you have stayed focused and voted.

    That’s right – even in cyberspace I will keep my eyes open to make you heed the altar call to vote.

     

    P.S. My dog Charly is unaffected by the political turmoil of this campaign season – I hope your weekend is as laid back as hers.

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  • We Are F-A-M-I-L-Y?


    I wonder. If we are truly “family” then we are like many families – highly dysfunctional.

    The older I get the less I value the opinions other people have of me including my height and weight, my politics, my white hair, my house with the Tara columns, my old truck and car, my dog that jumps the fence on a regular basis which annoys me so I know it must annoy my neighbors, my sexual orientation, my “falling away” from the church, my obsession with the tennis majors and sports in general…so if you don’t like any of these traits, perceived foibles or inherited genetics well, to quote Rhett Butler, frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. At seventy years of age I’m not hopeful for makeovers in any of these areas.

    Family, on the other hand, is a core value with me. You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family, can you? My family is what I started with, and my family will be what I end up with – if I have anything to say on the subject. So whatever attack you have up your sleeve, please don’t disrespect my family. I know I have cousins who aren’t what we hoped they’d be, but they’re my cousins after all and perhaps I’m not what they hoped I’d be, either. But hey, don’t disrespect my cousins in front of me.

    The same feelings go with my country. I don’t know how I was fortunate enough to be born in the United States, but I was and am proud of it. Being an American is another core value for me – democracy is a fundamental principle that I cherish and every year or two or four I watch as the election process unfolds and shake my head or nod it at the conclusion of the campaign seasons when the results are announced. That’s that until the next time. Case closed. You win some. You lose some.

    Here’s the thing. Don’t disrespect democracy – not in front of me, not now, not ever. Don’t sneer at what makes our country great right this minute – free elections with a smooth transition of power. Is the process absolutely 100% guaranteed to not have any flaws at all? Not a chance. But is the process and outcome a cornerstone of our family values as a free nation? You better believe it.

    Some of us were born into the American family, some of us made a conscious choice to join our American family – but ALL of us believe that we wake up every morning in a free country where no one is about to form a military coup to pick our next President, don’t we?

    So we are a dysfunctional family these days and this election season has been “nasty.” But make no mistake – our f-a-m-i-l-y is what we honor as Americans – it’s what we will vote to protect, preserve and defend on November 08th.

    Seriously.

    003

  • Doubling Down on Debates, Dems, Demagogues, Divisiveness and Depression: I VOTED


    001

    The most recent polling of my personal state of mind reveals a slight shift from 52% Negative and 48% Positive to 52% Positive and 48% Negative. Jeopardy host Alex Trebek asks what are readily identifiable factors that have led to this impressive 4-point swing? The answer is the Daily Double, or the Daily Doubling Down: I voted. My depression is slightly improved without an increase in my anti-depressant medication.

    I feel like a great burden has been lifted from my scrambled brain that has been trying for the past two years to sift facts from fiction at debates in the bruising endless primaries and now bipartisan presidential debates. Is it my imagination or are the debates really longer with just two candidates onstage than they were with a gazillion candidates vying for attention. Whatever. For the most part, the candidates have been unresponsive to the moderators’ questions, and the moderators have been unresponsive to their unresponsiveness. The single most consistent feeling I have after I watch a debate is that I would have been a better moderator. I’m just saying.

    But guess what?

    What?

    I don’t even need to watch the final debate tomorrow because I already voted. Yep. One of the perks of being older than dirt is the right to vote absentee and I jumped all over that yesterday. Me and my 1.5 million early voting friends, that is.

    002

    Today’s buzz words for the campaigns according to the political talking heads are Doubling Down. Whatever a candidate advocates that will solidify her/his voter base (those voters who will vote for you regardless of any mention of sex, lies, emails or videotapes), now is the time to pull out all the stops, say whatever motivates your base the most and make sure your peeps vote. For example, comment on the “rigged system” of voting in general. This is Doubling Down – a populist candidate appealing to supporters who already feel like political outsiders – by attempting to suggest the voting process itself is fundamentally flawed. Oops – flawed unless you win, of course.

    I pity the Undecideds because they will, no doubt, be watching tomorrow night’s debates with the same “wishy- washyness” they’ve been watching all of the previous ones. They’ll still be hanging onto the sounds and images of every political TV commercial between now and November 08th. hoping and praying for that moment of inspiration, that pearl of wisdom which will finally push them into someone’s camp. But not me. I already voted. I can mute those suckers and the divisiveness they perpetrate.

    003

    No really, seriously. I voted.