Spoiler alert: the person sitting down was the winner.
I am surrounded by the players:
Pretty, Darlene, Dawne, Patti and Dan
(Dan was the person who invented Jungle Croquet
and designed the course)
Pretty felt confident during our soothing pre-match meditation
I wasn’t happy with my orange ball,
but everyone else picked theirs first
I started out “hot” and never looked back at my competition
Pretty and sis Darlene couldn’t believe their eyes
(these Williams sisters have the confidence of winning like two other Williams sisterswho are household names in another sport now being played in New York)
getting down to the wire – Patti, Dan, and Pretty try to catch me
in the end, it was all about second place!
the medal winners: Dan with silver, Patti with bronze, and well,
the gold went to me forsome reason
known only to the gods of pure chance
Jungle Croquet was a throwback to my childhood croquet games in Texas where we always played at family reunions. I’m saying regular croquet – not anything resembling the course in the High Country of the Blue Ridge Mountains in North Carolina where Pretty and I visited last week and were fortunate to meet Dan and Patti who graciously invited us for a game on Dan’s awesome course.
I finally figured out the “Jungle” name started with a Tarzan movie that had nothing to do with croquet at all.
If only I had had the good common sense to stay in the car at one of the breathtaking walkabouts on the way back to our lodging afterwards, I could write the day was perfect. Alas, I tripped on a large tree root when we were walking to look at a river, fell onto a large brier bush, and was lucky to have three women with me who managed to lift me to a standing position. Also lucky no one captured that on a video.
shoulda had that stick before the tree tackled me
thanks to our hosts Dawne and Birthday Girl Darlene (and Gabe)
For the laughs, amazing scenery, Jungle Croquet, and the wonderful experience of family in their beloved Blue Ridge Mountains. I do love the mountains, I love the rolling hills…I love the flowers, I love the daffodils…I love the fireside when all the lights are low…
thanks to Dawne and Darlene for sharing these photos
Remember the three little kittens that lost more than their mittens but were rescued by Pretty who cannot refuse any creature in distress? They made their first appearance here in June.
Motherless, tiny, hungry, sleepy –
the kitten invasion began innocently
My allergies to cats are well documented, but these kittens were going to be temporary, Pretty assured me with one of her smiles that has always motivated me to say yes to whatever she wanted. She promised to take care of them herself without subjecting me to allergy-producing contact, and she was true to her word about their care.
She bottle-fed them for weeks, carried them with her to work in one of her storage boxes every day from where they lived in our kitchen until…
They outgrew the box. Kittens seemed to me to have multiplied because suddenly kittens were everywhere. Dashing thither and yon with reckless abandon. They were fearless. Clowns, too. They entertained me endlessly with their antics.
Neither Pretty nor I was prepared for the resistance my immune system had for the kittens, however. I took Zyrtec every morning and gradually added afternoon and evening doses of the high powered Benadryl with extra antihistamines to provide relief for the sneezing, wheezing, redder than usual itching eyes, headaches that have become unwelcome visitors this summer of 2025.
Luckily, two of the kittens were adopted to homes that passed Pretty’s ownership criteria in July. Then there was a sole survivor in our house. I named him Bennie, short for Benadryl which if I could invest in stocks, I would choose Johnson and Johnson, its manufacturer. Oh, yes, and don’t forget Kleenex which I consumed in quantities that produced shortages in my Instacart grocery stores. Out of stock. Seriously?
Our dog Charley became obsessed with Bennie in a good way – he motivated her to move around again – to leave the comfort of her best friend’s Spike’s favorite places in the living room which have been empty since his passing in March. Bennie’s playfulness has been contagious to our elderly dog who chases him from hiding place to hiding place.
Pretty fell in love with Bennie, too – who’s surprised – but the person who begged to keep him because she loved the spunky little kitten without reservations was our five year old granddaughter Ella, but sadly she suffers from allergies like mine which prevented her parents from adopting him.
The hot summer days rolled on, and Bennie remained with us.
how can I write a blog post when you are standing on my laptop?
I was beginning to think Bennie’s forever home was with Pretty and me when our upstate family rode in on a white horse to save the day. Darlene and Dawn, part of our family from Spartanburg County, convinced one of their neighbors she needed to add Bennie to her cat family. Pretty vetted their recommendation and approved Bennie’s transfer to the higher ground at the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Bennie in a favorite laundry basket today
Bennie feels safe with us
“Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you.” Mary Bly (Fun Facts About Cats)
Despite my whining about allergies, I will be heartbroken to say goodbye to Bennie who has grown on me as fast as he has developed that special personality he owns with joy and spunk. Fingers crossed his new forever home will welcome him with open arms and hearts. His temporary home will not be the same without him. Pretty, Ella, Charley and I look forward to seeing pictures of our little guy who gave us a memorable summer in 2025 ..we love you, Bennie.
Teresa and I were totally caught off guard when Harriet Hancock called to tell us we had been nominated and chosen for The Legacy Award from the Harriet Hancock Center in 2025. Surprised, delighted, blown away by the recognition of the contributions two lesbians from the small towns of Richards, Texas, and New Prospect, South Carolina, who grew up in a time before Stonewall, could be celebrated today by one of the defining organizations of the LGBTQ+ movement in Columbia.
No person has meant more to our community than Harriet Hancock, a friend Teresa and I have admired for more than three decades. The Center which bears her name continues to serve as a safety net for young and old alike in the march toward equal justice for all South Carolinians.
The Legacy Award is an affirmation of our efforts to live authentic lives together in a time and place before Will and Grace.
I met Teresa when I wandered into Bluestocking Books in the early 1990s. We were both in other relationships at the time, but we shared values that gave us common goals for our community and ultimately provided the foundation for a personal bond that led to sharing our lives to create a family we both cherish.
We have no words to express our gratitude to the Harriet Hancock Center and our nominators for The Legacy Award in 2025. You are the future we worked for, and we promise to continue the struggle against the enemies of silence and apathy that have always tried to divide us.
Please join us as we celebrate six other award recipients for 2025: PJ Whitehurst, Community Advocate of the Year; Elliott Naddell, Youth Advocate of the Year; Senator Tameika Isaac Devine, Political Advocate of the Year; Rainy Day Fund, Community Partner of the Year; CAN Community Health, Health and Wellness Organization of the Year; The Nickelodeon, Arts and Culture Organization of the Year.
Pardon the summertime interruption with this favorite story of mine from my days growing up in Texas. Yesterday was my grandfather the barber’s birthday. He was born July 29, 1898, and died in October, 1987. To me and my Morris first cousins, he was the best man we ever knew.
my grandfather, George Patton Morris, holding me in 1946
“George, here comes Sheila for her shave,” said Old Man Tom Grissom, who was already in his favorite spot in the barbershop by the time I got there.
Ma, my grandmother who had been married to Barber George Morris for over forty years, said Tom Grissom ought to pay rent for all the time he spent sitting on that bench in the shop. Pa, my grandfather the barber, just laughed like he always did. He’d be charging rent to a lot of old men if he ever got started on that. The barbershop was a thriving business on Main Street in Richards, Texas. Main Street was the only paved street in Richards (Pop. 440), and Pa was the sole barber in the area. People drove from all over Grimes County to his out-of-the-way shop with one barber’s chair that was bought in the 1920s when he first opened. Waiting patrons and gossipy old men sat on two wooden benches.
Past the benches was a shoeshine stand that Pa used when somebody wanted shiny boots. Along the wall behind the barber’s chair were a long mirror and two shelves that held the glass display boxes. One of the boxes housed gleaming scissors, combs, and brushes for haircuts. The other held shaving mugs, razors, and Old Spice bottles for the shaves. Everything was spotless.
Pa was happy to see me. “Hey, sugar. You here for your shave?” he asked.
“I sure am, Barber Morris,” I replied in my most grownup customer voice. It was the summer after my second grade in school, and I loved to come to the barbershop. Sometimes I brought my play knife and sat on the porch outside the shop and whittled with the old men who lolled there for hours just talking and whittling. Other times, I had business with my grandfather.
Like today. Pa got out the little booster seat and put it in the barber’s chair so I could climb up on it. I was too small to sit in the chair without it.
“How about a haircut with your shave? That pretty blonde hair is getting too long for this summer heat,” he said.
“No, thanks, Pa. Mama always tells me when to get my hair cut,” I said. “Just a shave today.”
Old Man Tom Grissom nodded at this. “I sure wouldn’t be cutting that blonde hair without Selma knowing,” he said. “She’s mighty particular about things.”
“I appreciate your advice, Tom,” Pa said with a trace of annoyance. “But Sheila Rae and I are just having a conversation for fun. Nothing serious.”
Pa listened as Tom Grissom talked and talked and talked some more about delivering the mail that morning. Being the Richards rural-route carrier was hazardous, to hear him tell it: cows in the road to drive around, barking dogs chasing armadillos right in front of him. This was hard work, and then you had the heat! Why, he couldn’t keep his khaki uniform dry from all that sweat. Yes, sir, this was no job for the faint-hearted. And on and on.
Meanwhile, Pa had placed the thin white sheet over me and leaned the chair back just far enough to start to work. He lathered up the shaving cream in his mug with the brush and dabbed it on my face. I loved the smell of the shaving cream. He let that soak while he took the razor strop attached to the chair and swished it up and down slowly and methodically to get it just right. It didn’t matter to me that he was using the side without the blade. It made the same swishing noise.
Then he took the bladeless side of the razor and gave me the best shave ever. He was very careful to get every part of my face. He even pinched my nose so that he got the part between my mouth and nose just so. Pa was an artist with his razor and scissors. He put a warm wet white cotton laundered towel over my face and rubbed off the last of the shaving cream. It felt so clean. Finally, he took the Old Spice After-Shave and gave it a good shake, rubbed it on his hands, and then on my face and neck. Nothing beats the aroma of Old Spice.
Old Man Tom Grissom said, “Well, that ought to do you for a week or so, won’t it?”
“Yes,” I said. “Probably so. We’ll see.”
Pa gave me the worn yellow hand mirror that he gave to all his customers to inspect his handiwork. I studied my face thoughtfully.
“Well, how does it look to you?” he asked with a smile. “Time to pay up. That’ll be two bits for the shave. That’s with the favorite granddaughter discount.”
“Very good, Barber Morris. Much obliged.” I reached into my jeans pocket and brought out some play money coins and handed them to Pa.
Just about that time, Ma drove up and got out of her car. “George, what’s Sheila Rae doing in that chair?” she bristled.
Old Man Tom Grissom said, “Betha, Sheila Rae’s here for her shave.” Ma gave him a withering look and said, “Is your name George? Don’t you have any mail to deliver, or would that require removing yourself from that bench you warm every day?”
I got down from the barber’s chair and ran over to Ma and tried to reassure her that everything was all right. Ma looked at Pa and said this was just what she had been telling him the other night about encouraging me in all this foolishness.
“She shouldn’t be spending her summer hanging around this shop,” she said, looking accusingly at Pa, who said nothing.
“Ma, can I have a nickel to go get an ice cream cone at the drug store? Getting a shave makes me hungry.” Ma never said no to me, so I got my nickel and left. I walked across the street to Mr. McAfee’s drugstore and got my Blue Bell vanilla cone and headed home.
I saw Ma and Pa still in animated conversation at the shop.
Old Man Tom Grissom had gone home.
**********************
Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing was published in 2007 when I was 61 years old. Much has changed in the past 18 years, but I continue to smile when I read this story of the little girl growing up in the 1950s in the tiny town of Richards, Texas. I can see her now walking the block on a red dirt road from the house where she lived to Main Street, not in any hurry but not dawdling like she did some time, on her way to town. Summertime meant no school, looking for things to do during the day for the only child whose few playmates might not be around, so her mother let her go to town to be entertained by her grandparents. Her mother’s mother worked in the general store as a clerk, so Sheila Rae could stop there for a hug and maybe a nickel for a candy bar unless her grandmother had customers in the store, or she could walk past the general store and the post office to the next small building that housed the barbershop owned by her grandfather on her daddy’s side. Someone once said to my father, “Glenn, you have such a happy child. She’s always smiling,” to which my daddy replied, “Why shouldn’t she be happy? Nobody ever tells her no.” When I wrote this book in 2007, I’m sure I didn’t fully understand what he meant by that remark. Now that my wife and I have two granddaughters, I totally get it.
Molly has joined Big Sis Ella for tennis lessons from Miss Sherry
Molly, Nana, Ella, and Nana’s sister Aunt Darlene
(Aunt Darlene and Dawne came from Upstate, Dawne took pics)
Ella will be six years old in October –
graduated to deep end this summer
Molly has fun with Naynay and her Unicorn floaties
Aunt Darlene and Dawne brought their dog Gabriel
swimming makes us so tired
Can somebody keep these little girls from growing up so fast?
I recently ran into Dot Ryall, a dear friend of many lifetimes, who told me she followed the adventures Pretty and I have with our granddaughters on Facebook. She asked me if I had known how much love I had to give at this point in my life to these two precious little girls? I told her both Pretty and I had been overjoyed to discover the love we shared for Ella and Molly. Dot nodded and reminded me of our conversations years ago when her grandchildren were their ages. At that time I never envisioned having grandchildren of our own, but in the blistering heat of the summer of 2025, our lives move on with them, our families and friends, and you, our cyberspace followers who share this journey we’re making at warp speed.
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