I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

Category: family life

  • the desperate place

    the desperate place


    This is the language that speaks to you in the desperate place. A place from which you lack the means or power to escape. A place in which you realize that someone you love does not, and will not ever, love you back. A place in which you acknowledge your steep falling off in health, or strength, or status. A place in which you must accept that you are losing ground, losing face. (Gail Godwin)

    Godwin writes in her book Getting to Know Death she has experienced “the desperate place” four times in her 70+ years. Hmm. She must not have called the ABC customer service line recently. Heck, I was in the desperate place more than four times this afternoon when I called to try to lower my monthly bill.

    I spoke to a computerized voice that chastised me for not using their website. I want to speak to a person, I insisted, but I don’t think you’re the one. I want a REAL person, I said several times and then agreed to let them call me at their convenience since the wait time was thirty minutes. Desperate place #1. I lacked the power to escape.

    Twenty-five minutes later another computerized voice called to say someone would talk to me in a few minutes when they were available. Desperate place #2. Wasn’t that why I was getting called back? Because there was a live person about to talk to me. I had to face the fact I was losing ground here.

    Several minutes passed before a cheerful woman, clearly real, asked me again why I was calling and how could she help. After reviewing my credentials which had previously been recorded by the computerized voice, she asked me what I liked to watch on TV. I gave her a quick rundown of Pretty’s and my favorites. I made sure to mention the Tennis Channel and ESPN since the Australian Open is on. She suggested I bundle my phone with my internet and TV. Desperate place #3. I was quickly in a steep decline of status with this woman, confident she would never love me. She recommended I speak with the Loyalty Program for discounts.

    Oh, the Loyalty Program discount person isn’t in this department – I’ll have to transfer you to them, the woman who would never love me said. Lengthy wait on hold again before being connected to another woman who was not only cheerful but also had a soothing voice. She wanted to know what she could do for me today. Desperate place #4. Seriously? You don’t know why I’m calling? I was losing face big time.

    The Loyalty Program discount person managed to shave $25 from my monthly bill but recommended bundling my cell phone with my internet and TV. Sound familiar? Desperate place #5. I apparently lacked the means or power to escape unless I acquiesced to look into the joys of bundling which I said I would do.

    Although I have poked fun today at Godwin’s desperate place, I understand what she intended and imagine everyone has been to those places when our losses overwhelm us, when we lack the means or power to escape the pain, when the person we love will never love us back, when our health and strength decline, and when we feel the ground slipping away.

    My wish for everyone in 2025 is the desperate places are far and few between, as my cousin Martin used to say.

    Thank you for hanging with us for another year.

  • field trip!

    field trip!


    Once upon a time there were two little girls who lived in two different places with one common bond: their grandmothers. What to do with seven-year-old Collins who was visiting her grandmothers at Lake Murray and five-year-old Ella on a freezing cold day outside? Why, perfect day for an indoor field trip to the South Carolina State Museum!

    granddaughters learn how rocks are made at State Museum field trip

    (Saturday, January 11, 2025)

    Naynay hovers over Collins and Ella at petting zoo in spring of 2023

    Two years earlier the grandmothers had taken the girls to an exotic animals petting zoo at Eudora Wildlife Safari Park in Salley, South Carolina. They both loved the tractor with the huge tires.

    granddaughters share ocean secrets late summer of 2023

    Later that year the girls teamed up for a magical beach trip with their grandmothers at Folly Beach where they explored the waves crashing around their short little legs.

    what a difference two years make! those little legs much taller!

    tour guide Kaka brought State Museum to life for the granddaughters

    grandmothers Kitty, Kaka and Naynay with Collins and Ella

    at planetarium aurora show

    the museum had a tractor tire, too, and we loved to play in it

    the museum had four floors – where are the grandmothers?

    so Ella, if we stand right here on this black thing,

    the man in the submarine moves

    Nana had to work in her antique empire the day of the Museum Field Trip, but Ella will be sure to tell her about her play date with Collins when she sees her this week. We all missed Nana who loves a good Field Trip.

    Until we meet again…

    **********************

    The wild fires in California have been catastrophic for so many Americans – we feel their pain as they return to a home that no longer exists, a life as they knew it is gone. We ask for clarity of thought and calmness of purpose for those experiencing losses as they make life changing decisions.

  • above, beyond and served with Buddy Biscuits

    above, beyond and served with Buddy Biscuits


    Spike to Charly: Listen, did you hear that? I think the old woman is scraping the bottom of our food box.

    So what? Charly said.

    So what? SO WHAT? I’ll tell you so what. It’s nearly six o’clock on a Saturday afternoon, and we’re going to be out of food tomorrow unless our Great Provider manages to contact Woody’s Pet Supplies in the next few minutes. No food for our meals, not to mention we’re out of Buddy Biscuits. When will herself learn to make reminder lists.

    ********************

    Point taken. Shoulda, woulda, coulda made a list, but no worries. I left a voice mail for Davis, the young owner of Woody’s who occasionally bailed me out of my emergency orders by delivering the dog food on his way home from the store after he locked up at seven o’clock. I tried not to take advantage, but he wouldn’t be surprised by my predicament on the weekend before Christmas.

    He didn’t call back, though, nor did he come by our carport Saturday night. Sigh. Davis must have been swamped with last minute Christmas shoppers, I thought. Well, good for him. Pretty and I had supported his business since it opened in the summer of 2022, watched his inventory grow, celebrated with him when he found a good groomer to add those services so if he was too busy to call me, I was really happy for him. There was no possibility Spike, Charly, or Carl would go hungry when we could feed them leftovers.

    ******************

    Sunday morning my little terrier Carl and I were in the kitchen staring at three empty dog dishes. It was 8:00 a.m. which was when the dogs ate breakfast. Carl looked from me to his empty dish with alarm.

    Spike and Charly had begun barking from their posts in the den when they heard their dishes rattling around.

    I was startled by a knock on our kitchen door; a man stood at the bottom of our steps waving at me. No one came to see us at this hour, but he looked familiar so I walked toward the door. There stood Davis with a huge bag of dog food and two boxes of Buddy Biscuits. I’m sorry I didn’t get these to you last night, he said, but we were busy so I didn’t listen to my messages until this morning. When I heard yours, I drove to the store to get what you needed.

    *******************

    Kindness is contagious. I will treasure many moments with family and friends during this 2024 holiday season, will be moved over and over again by thoughtful gifts and gestures, by music and memories that inspire good moods, by stories that remind me joy and laughter are still possible with faith in a future of possibilities for people of good will. All is not lost.

    But I hope I always remember Davis appearing on my doorstep at 8 o’clock on a Sunday morning the weekend before Christmas with peanut butter Buddy Biscuits for Spike, Charly and Carl. That was service above and beyond – kindness that should be celebrated regardless of the holidays we observe.

  • Untitled post 22952

    “Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

    Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…”

    Blah, blah. Blah, blah. Boring, super boring. Everybody knows the 1823 Moore version, but who knows the 1963 Morris version??

    My daddy always loved poetry and music so when he gave me these words at Christmas my senior year in high school, I wasn’t surprised. I don’t remember if he mentioned they were part of the lyrics from a song called A Letter from Santa written by Mickey Maguire (more remembered for Christmas classic I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus). I do remember I laughed out loud. I probably also couldn’t believe my dad had actually written the word “ass” in something he gave me – my parents refused to use what they considered to be vulgar language; I’m sure “ass” was a hard no. Maybe this rite of passage made it funnier to me.

    But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

    Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

    **********************

    For the grown-ups.

  • We Three Kings of Cardinal Drive

    We Three Kings of Cardinal Drive


    Jesus saith unto him, Rise, take up thy bed, and walk. (Gospel of John)

    Every morning at five o’clock King Carl saith unto me rise, take up thy bed off thy back, and walk…to the den to let me outside for my morning constitutional, and be quick about it.

    then he follows me to the kitchen, waits patiently while I make my coffee

    inseparable cats Batman and Robin want breakfast asap

    (before I take my first sip of coffee – spoilitis)

    I am ready to eat, says the third King of Cardinal Drive

    We three kings of Orient are;
    bearing gifts we traverse afar,
    field and fountain, moor and mountain,
    following yonder star.

    O star of wonder, star of light,
    star with royal beauty bright,
    westward leading, still proceeding,
    guide us to thy perfect light.

    —- John Henry Hopkins, Jr. (1857)

    oops, no star – we’ll settle for the moon on Christmas Eve morning

    Batman and Robin are two male feral cats that guard our carport in exchange for food and a warm place to sleep. Unfortunately, their guard duties do not extend to our car and truck, but hey, you can’t have it all, can you, Santa?