I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

Category: family life

  • kids say the darndest things (part 2)…

    kids say the darndest things (part 2)…


    For example, this conversation took place between Naynay (the name my granddaughter gave me) and our almost three year old granddaughter Ella near the end of a two hour ride in the Grannymobile on our way this past May to the upstate for a few days in the Blue Ridge mountains of North Carolina just above the South Carolina state line. Ella had slept most of the trip, was waking up from her afternoon nap.

    I began to talk to her about the beautiful mountains we were going to see, about our responsibility to protect them when we visited, to make sure we always put our trash in the trash cans and never littered. I told her our generation had made a mess of the environment – that I hoped she and Molly would do better…she had listened intently I thought when all of a sudden she rolled her eyes (a la Pretty) and said “Oh Naynay, you make me sooo tired.”

    Sigh. How many other people feel that same way – but are too polite to tell me. I shudder to think.

    Before our granddaughters were born Pretty and I vowed to not be the stereotypical grandmothers who talked about their grandchildren incessantly, who always had a cute story about what one of them had said or done. We have failed miserably. Ask any of our friends or family we talk to on a regular basis, and they will be happy to tell you that no conversation takes place with us anymore unless there is a story about one or both of our granddaughters.

    Periodically I cannot resist the urge to share their wit and wisdom with our cyberspace friends and family. Pardon me for this interruption of my usual heavier topics. The world indeed weighs heavily on me these days, but thank goodness for the joy I find in our granddaughters. Ella will be three years old on October 1st; Molly was born on January 26th of this year.

    We recently kept the girls for two days and nights while their mom and dad went down to the beach for a long weekend. Our babysitting started on a Friday and we worked very hard to entertain them with indoor activities on Friday afternoon plus pool time for Ella on Saturday with Pretty while I kept Molly inside to watch tennis with me. Saturday at noon I asked Ella if she wanted to talk to her mother on the phone. She nodded so I dialed Caroline. The following telephone call took place.

    Caroline: How is it going with the Nanas, Ella?

    Ella: We’re having a good time. When can you pick us up?

    Pretty and I burst out laughing together.

    That Saturday afternoon I took Ella on a little walk up our street in front of the house. She seemed to be having a good time – there were a few puddles in the road from the rains the night before – and she was eager to splash in them. After a few minutes of splashing Ella stepped out of the puddle and turned toward the direction we had just come from. “Naynay, do you know where our house is?” she asked with anxiety. “Yes, Sweet, that’s one thing I’m confident we can find.”

    I’ll close with this one that took place yesterday. Pretty usually goes to Ella’s camp classroom to pick her up in the afternoons while I stay in the Grannymobile with Molly. Yesterday I told Pretty I wanted to surprise Ella and pick her up myself. Of course, Pretty was happy for me to go but repeated the instructions for reaching the classroom several times to make sure I could negotiate the entrance process. No problem.

    I found the classroom without a hitch, and Ella ran smiling to me when she saw me in the doorway. The teacher helped us get Ella’s snack, her lunch bag, and her water. All was well as I held her hand walking down the hallway until she stopped, looked up at me and said suspiciously “Naynay, how did you get in the building?”

    Good question. I told her she’d have to ask Pretty.

    ****************

    Bonus pictures from Caroline’s Facebook.

    Ella gets first haircut (June, 2022)

    Molly and big sister Ella on Father’s Day (June, 2022)

    ******************

    Slavia Ukraini. For the children.

  • with sorrow we dissent

    with sorrow we dissent


    “People Vs Supreme Court (The Sonnet)

    When the Supreme Court behaves prehistoric,
    Every human must become an activist.
    When the gatekeepers of law behave barbarian,
    Every civilian must come down to the street.
    When people are stripped of their basic rights,
    By some bigoted and shortsighted gargoyles.
    We the people must take back the reins,
    And put the politicians in their rightful place.
    We need no guns and grenades, we need no ammo,
    Unarmed and unbent we stand against savagery.
    Till every woman obtains their right to choice,
    None of us will sit quiet in compliant apathy.
    Every time the cradle of justice becomes criminal,
    It falls upon us civilians to be justice incorruptible.”


    ― Abhijit Naskar, Find A Cause Outside Yourself: Sermon of Sustainability

    Supreme Court Injudicious Clarence Thomas said landmark high court rulings that established gay rights and contraception rights should be reconsidered now that the federal right to abortion has been revoked.

    Thomas wrote that those rulings “were demonstrably erroneous decisions.”

    *****************

    I’m not a judge or even an attorney, but I argue the demonstrably erroneous decisions with respect to the highest court in the nation include the appointment of Thomas in 1991 by President George H. W. Bush (that’s 31 years ago if anyone is counting) and the three most recent appointments of Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, and Barrett. Gorsuch and Kavanaugh both vowed in their congressional testimony during confirmation hearings they would not vote to overturn Roe. Very nice – justices whose own word is meaningless.

  • Committed to Home – Happy Pride!

    Committed to Home – Happy Pride!


    “It’s rare to find a collection of essays so rich and compelling, its contributors sharing the journeys that frequently took them into regions unknown but eventually led them back home – to themselves, their loved ones, and their communities…” Robert H. Brinkmeyer, Jr., director, Institute for Southern Studies, University of South Carolina.

    This quote is from the back cover of Southern Perspectives on the Queer Movement: Committed to Home, an anthology of the first-person stories of a few (21) organizers of the LGBTQ movement in South Carolina from the HIV-AIDS pandemic in the 1980s through marriage equality in 2014. I had the privilege of collecting, editing, and securing a publisher for their voices, a labor of love for me for four years from 2013 – 2017.

    During the month of June we celebrate Pride month, and I encourage anyone who hasn’t had an opportunity to read a fascinating foreword by Harlan Greene nor the chance to meet these trailblazers (Jim Blanton, Candace Chellew, Matt Chisling, Michael Haigler, Harriet Hancock, Deborah Hawkins, Dick Hubbard, Linda Ketner, Ed Madden and Bert Easter, Alvin McEwen, Sheila Morris, Pat Patterson and Patti O’Furniture, Jim and Warren Redman-Gress, Nekki Shutt, Tony Snell-Rodriquez, Carole Stoneking, Tom Summers, Matt Tischler, and Teresa Williams) to go to Amazon or directly to the USC Press for a read that will make you proud.

    Happy Pride!

    ****************

    The fact that five years have passed since Southern Perspectives was published in 2017 is inconceivable to me, yet I can’t ignore the calendar. 2022.

    While our LGBTQ+ community has made impressive achievements toward equality during the past five years, I realize those steps forward are under assault again…still. May the passion of the trailblazers in this collection continue to inspire our vision for the future.

    Onward.

  • Frances, Lee and Margaritas – love triangle for the ages

    Frances, Lee and Margaritas – love triangle for the ages


    Hey gal, have a seat, was the standard greeting Lee offered when I reached the table in Los Pericos where he and my cousin Frances would be sitting down sipping margaritas. Los Pericos was their favorite Mexican restaurant in the little town of Willis, Texas – a fifteen minute drive from their condo at Lake Conroe or maybe shorter depending on how fast Frances was driving.

    Frances always drove. I never remember seeing Lee get out of the car on any side except the passenger seat in the front, but then I never saw Frances get out of the car without Lee. Frances and Lee. Lee and Frances. Their names were linked as indelibly as their margaritas were to table prepared guacamole at Los Pericos where the staff knew their names and what they wanted. As soon as they came in, the whirring of the margarita blender could be heard, and two large frozen tequila drinks appeared almost as soon as they sat down. Cheers.

    Frances is the daughter of my paternal grandmother’s sister Thelma and has been a fixture in my life since I was born. We weren’t close when we were growing up in neighboring Grimes County, Texas towns because she was too many years older than me (all of five years) plus she had a younger brother who was my age, a boy who entertained me, and a boy who could manipulate me into activities that annoyed his older sister.

    Frances married Lee when she was 20 years old and for all practical purposes disappeared from my teenage consciousness while her brother and I remained close. Whenever I saw her and her husband at family gatherings, she was sweet, smiling with the same look her mother had – like they knew a secret the rest of us would never know. Lee looked at Frances with the adoring gaze of someone who knew the secret and loved her either in spite of it or because of it.

    The vicissitudes of life, as my daddy often called inexplicable coincidences, brought Frances and Lee into my conscious life again when I became bi-stateual and moved home to Texas to care for my mother. Our home on Worsham Street in Montgomery from 2010 – 2014 was twenty minutes from their condo on Lake Conroe. I shared their love of margaritas and Tex-Mex which led me to meeting them at Los Pericos in Willis many nights for dinner. They occasionally acquiesced to my favorite place, the Big Sombrero in Montgomery, but they rarely gave two thumbs up to its margaritas.

    Playing canasta with one of my favorite neighbors, Carol, at the kitchen table on Worsham Street with Lee and Frances was always rewarded with bottles of wine they brought. Lee was an excellent card player with no loss of focus on the game regardless of how much wine I poured for him. We had several afternoons of card games, a variety of wines, but always loads of laughter while my country music station played our background music.

    In February of this year, Pretty and I made a quick trip to Texas and had a good visit with Frances and Lee in their new place not far in distance from the condo on Lake Conroe but a world away from the life they had there. Lee was obviously very ill which distressed us; Frances was obviously very worried about him. Health problems for Lee had multiplied after a serious stroke which forced them to change locations of their homes, but not their hearts.

    On Friday, June 10th. Lee and Frances were to celebrate their 61st. anniversary. The only people I know who had more than 60 years together were my paternal grandparents, so I am not only impressed by the longevity of Frances and Lee’s marriage but also the abiding love that inspired it. Lee died Monday, June 6th., at his home with his wife and only daughter Kelly by his side.

    I loved this man who married my cousin and will miss his hey gal, have a seat greeting. I will remember him and would like to think that somewhere somebody has poured the best tequila in a blender for a margarita that’s already whirring by the time St. Peter opens the gate. No salt please (thanks, Kelly – I had forgotten that)

    Pretty and I send our love to Frances, Kelly and the rest of Lee’s family. We are with you in spirit. Rest in peace, Lee.

    Lee, Frances and first cousin Eloise sharing a laugh with me in 2019

  • a walk on the wild side with the OG a/k/a Bully Cat

    a walk on the wild side with the OG a/k/a Bully Cat


    The saga of Carport Kitty continues almost without interruption – she has left the warmth of her winter heating pad, forsaken the luxury cat condo we keep ready for her, sleeps under one of our cars every night instead (how weird is that?), greets me every morning at daybreak as I set off for my walk, says goodnight to me every night as she waits for her Temptations. Her friends the Black Cat with the White Chest and the Yellow Cat now known as the Orange Tabby drop in to share her yummy pate on a regular basis until my loud rants shoo them away.

    turkey and giblets pate is lip smacking good

    But the one constant presence that intrudes on CK’s happiness is the Original Gangster I call the Bully Cat who stalks Her Highness in search of free food to supplement his own obvious care. On any given day I may have the opportunity to share my walk with this made for TV cat.

    hey, you with the cell phone – get outta my ‘hood

    whatever, I got nothing for you

    mind your own business – I’m on my payola patrol

    moving on – get outta my way

    I said get outta my way

    time to take a break from my rounds

    get lost, loser lesbian – this neighborhood is mine

    I know you’re not still here?

    ok, let’s make it official –

    I’m otw home so you need to get lost!

    some peeps can’t take a hint

    my crib – don’t dare follow me

    Of course I wouldn’t follow Bully Cat in his home turf, but I have to admit a certain fascination with the family who provides him with food, shelter and a random flea collar. Wouldn’t you be?

    *****************

    Thank you for your interest in the Carport Kitty story. Unfortunately, CK remains a true urban feral calico who allows me to pet her briefly at her meals but shows signs of slowing which may be a factor of heat or of her ongoing mobility issues. She has spunk, though, so don’t count her out yet.