An irregular visitor to our backyard, startling me with its beauty and attempts to communicate something that remains a mystery since my first sighting of this butterfly in August, 2018, followed three years later in September, 2021, and then again in November of 2023.
Even with my rudimentary knowledge of butterflies, which is less than rudimentary, I understand this is not the same butterfly because the life cycles of adult butterflies are measured in days or weeks, rarely months, and never years.
But sometimes my mind takes flight in a fantasy which allows me to feel this particular butterfly that flew around me yesterday was an old friend who pops in for a visit periodically to remind me that the spirits of my family buried in the Texas soil of Fairview Cemetery in Grimes County have never been totally gone from the person I became because of them. Somehow this butterfly comforts me, gives me hope.
And that’s a good thing, as my Aunt Lucille was fond of saying.
See you next time, my butterfly friend. Safe journeys.
Being celebrated for our work in the LGBTQ+ community in the midlands of South Carolina was a remarkable experience last week for Pretty and me. We wanted to share a few highlights with our friends in cyberspace, too.
Are you a friend of Dorothy?
a code phrase back in the day which was translated to mean
“are you gay?”
Teresa (a/k/a Pretty) and meoutside the Columbia Museum of Artin Columbia, South Carolina
the First Lady of the event and a dear friend of ours for three decades
Harriet Hancock, for whom ourcommunity center was named
Pretty and another warrior friend, Nekki Shutt
daughter-in-law Caroline with Dick Hubbard looking dapper
Dick is an institution himself – has been in the trenches with us
from the beginning35 years ago
The Legacy Award
Pretty and I accepting award presented by last year’s winners
Bert Easter and Ed Madden – and Emcee Patti O’Furniture
(their words were awesome, moving, inspiring)
Drew and Carolinemade us proud for their love and support
a bit of foolishness after the ceremony – I look like James Cagney
A perfect evening of celebration for Pretty and me as we learned about the current projects spearheaded by the Harriet Hancock Center and met young leaders with their own moving stories like Elliot Naddell who was named the Youth Advocate of the Year, PJ Whitehurst, the Community Advocate of the Year, and Senator Tameika Isaac Devine, the Political Advocate of the Year whose support as an ally of the LGBTQ+ community is historic.
Organizations like Can Community Health recognized as the Health & Wellness Organization of the Year, the Nickelodeon named the Arts & Culture Organization of the Year, and the Rainy Day Fund which was selected as the Community Partner of the Year.
Teresa and I were honored to be included with these current champions of causes so dear to us. You all share our legacy of “speaking the truth boldly, loving fiercely, and ensuring that future generations inherit a state where equality is not questioned but celebrated.”
Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who nominated us, to Harriet Hancock and the Center for selecting us, and to all our friends and family who showed up to celebrate on a magical night that stirred memories, inspired hope, and cast out fear.
No longer a secret, never again silent. These words by the Hancock Center Executive Director Cristina Picozzi and Board President Matt Butler must be etched in our collective consciousness from this day forward. They are not just a theme for a gala but a mantra for everyday living. The struggle is real.
Onward.
*************************
Guess what? We discovered over the weekend that we have lost our actual Award! There was a misunderstanding about who took the blue box containing the award home post Gala. Turns out none of us picked it up because we thought someone else had it. We have contacted the Columbia Museum of Art and the Harriet Hancock Center but, alas, no luck. If anyone has any information concerning its whereabouts, PLEASE contact us. We would love to solve the mystery!
P.S. I would also love to credit all photos but I lifted the images from multiple places. Thank you to all who took pictures including Erin, who gets extra credit because she drove from Charleston to celebrate with us.
For the multitude of readers requesting an update on our little bottle-fed Summer Superstar, we have good news. Cheryl, Bennie’s new Upstate Mom, sends us pictures and videos showing Bennie’s good fortunes.
Bennie learning to eat with his three Big Brothers –
he’s a Big Boy now – one of the guys!
he loves to run and chase the Brothers,
but then he gives everyone a rest when he takes a break
Thanks to the US Postal Service for preserving Bennie’s sweet face (or some other lucky puss) on a Forever Stamp. It’s a collectible, right?
And thanks to Cheryl for the updates, pictures, videos – we miss him and are grateful to her for keeping us in touch.
Pretty has a new bumper sticker on her work truck:
Spoiler alert: the person sitting down was the winner.
I am surrounded by the players:
Pretty, Darlene, Dawne, Patti and Dan
(Dan was the person who invented Jungle Croquet
and designed the course)
Pretty felt confident during our soothing pre-match meditation
I wasn’t happy with my orange ball,
but everyone else picked theirs first
I started out “hot” and never looked back at my competition
Pretty and sis Darlene couldn’t believe their eyes
(these Williams sisters have the confidence of winning like two other Williams sisterswho are household names in another sport now being played in New York)
getting down to the wire – Patti, Dan, and Pretty try to catch me
in the end, it was all about second place!
the medal winners: Dan with silver, Patti with bronze, and well,
the gold went to me forsome reason
known only to the gods of pure chance
Jungle Croquet was a throwback to my childhood croquet games in Texas where we always played at family reunions. I’m saying regular croquet – not anything resembling the course in the High Country of the Blue Ridge Mountains in North Carolina where Pretty and I visited last week and were fortunate to meet Dan and Patti who graciously invited us for a game on Dan’s awesome course.
I finally figured out the “Jungle” name started with a Tarzan movie that had nothing to do with croquet at all.
If only I had had the good common sense to stay in the car at one of the breathtaking walkabouts on the way back to our lodging afterwards, I could write the day was perfect. Alas, I tripped on a large tree root when we were walking to look at a river, fell onto a large brier bush, and was lucky to have three women with me who managed to lift me to a standing position. Also lucky no one captured that on a video.
shoulda had that stick before the tree tackled me
thanks to our hosts Dawne and Birthday Girl Darlene (and Gabe)
For the laughs, amazing scenery, Jungle Croquet, and the wonderful experience of family in their beloved Blue Ridge Mountains. I do love the mountains, I love the rolling hills…I love the flowers, I love the daffodils…I love the fireside when all the lights are low…
thanks to Dawne and Darlene for sharing these photos
Remember the three little kittens that lost more than their mittens but were rescued by Pretty who cannot refuse any creature in distress? They made their first appearance here in June.
Motherless, tiny, hungry, sleepy –
the kitten invasion began innocently
My allergies to cats are well documented, but these kittens were going to be temporary, Pretty assured me with one of her smiles that has always motivated me to say yes to whatever she wanted. She promised to take care of them herself without subjecting me to allergy-producing contact, and she was true to her word about their care.
She bottle-fed them for weeks, carried them with her to work in one of her storage boxes every day from where they lived in our kitchen until…
They outgrew the box. Kittens seemed to me to have multiplied because suddenly kittens were everywhere. Dashing thither and yon with reckless abandon. They were fearless. Clowns, too. They entertained me endlessly with their antics.
Neither Pretty nor I was prepared for the resistance my immune system had for the kittens, however. I took Zyrtec every morning and gradually added afternoon and evening doses of the high powered Benadryl with extra antihistamines to provide relief for the sneezing, wheezing, redder than usual itching eyes, headaches that have become unwelcome visitors this summer of 2025.
Luckily, two of the kittens were adopted to homes that passed Pretty’s ownership criteria in July. Then there was a sole survivor in our house. I named him Bennie, short for Benadryl which if I could invest in stocks, I would choose Johnson and Johnson, its manufacturer. Oh, yes, and don’t forget Kleenex which I consumed in quantities that produced shortages in my Instacart grocery stores. Out of stock. Seriously?
Our dog Charley became obsessed with Bennie in a good way – he motivated her to move around again – to leave the comfort of her best friend’s Spike’s favorite places in the living room which have been empty since his passing in March. Bennie’s playfulness has been contagious to our elderly dog who chases him from hiding place to hiding place.
Pretty fell in love with Bennie, too – who’s surprised – but the person who begged to keep him because she loved the spunky little kitten without reservations was our five year old granddaughter Ella, but sadly she suffers from allergies like mine which prevented her parents from adopting him.
The hot summer days rolled on, and Bennie remained with us.
how can I write a blog post when you are standing on my laptop?
I was beginning to think Bennie’s forever home was with Pretty and me when our upstate family rode in on a white horse to save the day. Darlene and Dawn, part of our family from Spartanburg County, convinced one of their neighbors she needed to add Bennie to her cat family. Pretty vetted their recommendation and approved Bennie’s transfer to the higher ground at the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Bennie in a favorite laundry basket today
Bennie feels safe with us
“Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you.” Mary Bly (Fun Facts About Cats)
Despite my whining about allergies, I will be heartbroken to say goodbye to Bennie who has grown on me as fast as he has developed that special personality he owns with joy and spunk. Fingers crossed his new forever home will welcome him with open arms and hearts. His temporary home will not be the same without him. Pretty, Ella, Charley and I look forward to seeing pictures of our little guy who gave us a memorable summer in 2025 ..we love you, Bennie.
I'll Call It Like I See It 
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