Category: Personal

  • Drama in our Driveway, or what happened to the car?

    Drama in our Driveway, or what happened to the car?


    When you live to be as old as dirt which is my age, you figure you must have seen it all. That’s why when I opened the kitchen door to step down three steps to the carport early Saturday morning, walked toward the driveway to go for my morning walk, noticed the empty space next to our pickup truck where the car was always parked, I wasn’t worried. Pretty must have parked it somewhere else, I thought. I looked around the front yard – both sides since we live on a corner lot – but decided I should go back in the house to double check with Pretty on the car’s whereabouts since I didn’t see it in any direction.

    Pretty, still half asleep, had no clue. I stated the obvious. Somebody stole our car.

    Thus, on the 14th. day of December, with only 17 days remaining in 2024, our year that will live in infamy had one final blow. We should never have agreed last week that 2024 had been a disastrous year and thank goodness it was behind us when there were 17 days left. Word to the wise: shut up. Life has a way of slapping you upside the head when you begin to make bold statements like that.

    I won’t bore you with the police reports, Honda Link exploits, angst that we went through during the day Saturday trying to figure out how to cope with this fresher version of hell but will cut to the chase to say seven hours later we met two policemen in an abandoned construction site less than ten minutes from our house. One of them was dusting for fingerprints on the door handles, windows, steering wheel and seats of our 2018 Honda Odyssey which we had called our Grannymobile since we bought it in 2021 to be able to transport a second granddaughter.

    Grannymobile found – contents lost

    Two check books, two pay checks, Christmas gifts for friends and family, $35 in cash, small merchandise items for Pretty’s antique booths, phone chargers – all losses to chase around and down. But the emotionally charged missing things belonged to our granddaughters (five-year-old Ella and her sister Molly who will be three years old next month) who always felt at home on the second row of the Grannymobile with their favorite toys, blankets, small libraries of books and children’s videos. The car seats were their safe places, but Molly’s car seat had been stolen along with her beloved stuffed dinosaur that had seen better days.

    When we saw the girls Saturday night, their parents had already told them about the stolen car so Ella was ready with her questions. How many “bandits” had taken the car? What did they look like? Why did they take it? All good questions that we couldn’t answer, but when we let the girls inspect the Grannymobile in their driveway, Molly’s first question was much more personal. Where are my toys? Did the police take my car seat?

    Somehow in the recounting of the story of the stolen car, Molly was convinced the police took her car seat and Dino the Dinosaur. Nana tried to mollify Molly by assuring her we would get her a brand new car seat just like Ella’s, but Molly said she didn’t want a new one, she wanted her old one back. She said Naynay would make the police give it back. Of course I told her I would – I tried to unravel the confusion about the police and the “bandits” but in the end, that ship had sailed.

    Stay safe during the holiday season. Car theft is alive and well and coming to a driveway near you, regardless of your age.

    Please stay tuned.

  • the plural of cactus

    the plural of cactus


    For everyone who struggles with remembering plurals, I happily report my research on the plural of the Christmas cactus which I had to do this morning because this is the first year we have had more than one cactus blooming at the same time. Ever. Check out these two fabulous colors.

    cacti or cactuses – feel free to pick a plural: both are correct

    (but whatever you do, don’t touch either plant)

    The Christmas story of Mary and Joseph’s plight in the manger in Bethlehem has been told and re-told for thousands of years. Regardless of your belief, it is a tender tale of a family who welcomed a baby boy into a world of conflict and hardship but hoped he would somehow change it for the better. The same conflicts continue two thousand years later with hardships of every shape and description that continue to plague our families today, but we move on.  Sometimes forward, sometimes backward. But onward we go. And in this spirit of hope for a better world where peace becomes the norm and hardships are made more bearable, I abandon my Bah, Humbug for a trip down memory lane to the Cookie Walk in Montgomery, Texas, in 2011.

    what is the plural for cookie? who even cares?

    (bet you can’t eat just one)

    Happy Holidays from our family to yours!

  • Handel’s Messiah – what’s Love got to do with it?

    Handel’s Messiah – what’s Love got to do with it?


    Dear Ella and Molly, once upon a time long ago your Nana and Naynay shared a special Christmas that was the beginning of their love that led them to you.

    Here’s a blast from the past – December, 2015 – nine years ago I published this piece about Pretty’s gift that year of my favorite Christmas music. While we no longer attend the sing-alongs in church together, Alexa is more than happy to share the Messiah with me during the Christmas season every year. I sing along now with the London Philharmonic Orchestra and Choir, but the music carries me to memories of the passion beginning to stir in a Baptist church in South Carolina twenty-four years ago…

    Teresa gave me the best gift of the holiday season last night when she took me to a Sing-Along Messiah concert at the Washington Street United Methodist Church where I sang along with a packed church audience of  other “Messiah” lovers who were mostly white-haired like me but had a good mixture of younger voices that gave me a feeling of hope for many more years of these sing-alongs.

    It was a special night for us because the first official “date” we had fifteen years ago this Christmas was to go to a presentation of Handel’s Messiah by the choir and orchestra at the Park Street Baptist Church here in Columbia.  I remember how nervous I was to ask her to go, although we had been friends for many years and done lots of things together like going to Panther football games several times, eating lunch frequently to discuss Guild business, meeting at my office for work on Guild mailing lists. We had been friends and activists in our community for seven years, but now things were different because we were both “available.”  Our other long-term relationships were over.

    Teresa laughs now because she said she didn’t know I was asking her out on a “date” when I asked her to go  hear the Messiah. She says she was surprised that I asked her to go because neither of us went to church –  and even more surprised when I suggested we go to dinner afterwards since I hadn’t said a word about that in my original “ask.”  She was busy. She had to mail her Christmas cards. She had her fourteen-year-old son Drew to get dinner for, she said when I tried to prolong our evening. I must have looked so disappointed that she took pity on me.

    Hm. Why don’t you go to the post office with me to mail my cards and then we can get a pizza to take home to Drew?  Sure, I’d said, as my dream of a romantic dinner evaporated right there in her car in front of the Post Office on Assembly Street while she rummaged through her large purse looking for stamps for her cards. Before I knew it, I was sitting in Teresa’s living room eating a pepperoni pizza with her and her son watching her wrap Christmas presents. Her dog Annie stared at me from the safety of her vantage point under the coffee table. I stayed way too long.

    The music last night transported me to the many wonderful places I’d performed Handel’s Messiah as a chorus member and soloist – even director in cities from Seattle, Washington to Fort Worth, Texas to Cayce and Columbia, South Carolina. I had always loved this music that symbolized Christmas for me whenever and wherever I’d heard it.  Last night, however, I found those memories as fuzzy as the notes on the alto lines were as I tried my best to keep pace  with the  sing- along.

    The most magical place the music took me last night?  The living room of a little house on Wessex Lane where I sat eating pizza with a woman and her son. The most vivid memory? This was the night I realized I was falling in love with my best friend. Now that’s a memory to cherish.

    I wish you all the hope for peace that this season offers and the joys of your favorite sounds of the season, but most of all, I wish you love.

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    My dearest Molly and Ella, may you find someone special to share the music in your hearts.

     

     

     

     

  • cross over the bridge

    cross over the bridge


    In June, 2015 two separate events captured the attention of not only the United States but also countries on other continents. Yes, indeed. We were part of the good, the bad and the very ugly. I wrote this piece the day after the Supreme Court ruled same-sex marriage was the law of the land,  the day of the funeral for the Reverend Clementa Pinckney who was one of the Emanuel Nine in Charleston, South Carolina.

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    Traveling to East Tennessee last week, Pretty and I listened to a collection of Patti Page hits. One of the songs she sang in this album which was recorded at Carnegie Hall in 1997 was Cross Over the Bridge – a song I hadn’t heard since 1954 when Patti originally recorded it –  but one I remembered singing while my mother played the yellow piano keys of the ancient upright piano in our living room in the tiny town of Richards in rural Grimes County, Texas. My mom bought sheet music like some people bought cigarettes back then…she was addicted to it. One of her favorites was Cross Over the Bridge so naturally eight-year-old me learned the lyrics as my mother sang and played which meant I was able to sing along with Patti in the car while Pretty and I rode through the gorgeous vistas of the Upstate of South Carolina toward the incredible views of the mountains in East Tennessee. Mine eyes did see the glory.

    Cross over the bridge, cross over the bridge…Change your reckless way of living, cross over the bridge…Leave your fickle past behind you, and true romance will find you, Brother, cross over the bridge.

    Admittedly this is a love song in the tradition of the 1950s favorite sentiments, but as I was trying to digest and cope with the overwhelming seesaws of emotion I felt yesterday, crossing bridges came to mind.

    Yesterday morning I woke up in a new world…truly a new world for me and my family. The Supreme Court of the United States lifted my status as a citizen. I was no longer “lesser than.” I was a person who mattered. By recognizing the fundamental right to marry for all same-sex couples in every state in the nation, SCOTUS recognized me as a person who was entitled to my own pursuit of happiness with life and liberty guaranteed as a bonus.

    Two years to the day after the favorable ruling in the Edie Windsor case that gave equal federal treatment to the same-sex marriages recognized in twelve states and the District of Columbia at the time, the Supremes crossed a bridge to leave a fickle past of outright discrimination behind all of us and yes, to allow true romance for whoever we love. We crossed a bridge to walk a path toward full equality for the entire LGBTQ community because of the efforts of people who worked at coming out to their parents, friends, co-workers – everyone in their daily lives – to reveal their authentic selves.

    It was a day of rejoicing for Pretty and me in our home; we were beside ourselves with an emotional high as the breaking news unfolded on the television before our eyes. To hear a Gay Men’s Chorus sing our national anthem outside the building in Washington, D.C. where history was being made brought chills and tears to our eyes. We savored the moment together.

    But the celebration was cut short by the next four hours of the television coverage of the funeral of the Reverend Clementa Pinckney, one of the Emanuel Nine slain in his church in Charleston, South Carolina the week before when he was leading a Bible Study group at the church. The celebration of his life was a long one for a man who had lived the relatively short life of only forty-one years. But this man’s life had counted for more than his years.

    He began preaching at the age of thirteen and was a pastor at eighteen years of age. The men and women who reflected on Reverend Pinckney’s life did so with exuberance and humor as they told their personal stories of interacting with him as friends, family and co-workers. The picture that emerged was that of a good man who loved his family, his church and his country with its flawed history of systemic racism. He was a man on a mission to make life better for those who felt they had no voice to speak about their basic needs of food and shelter, their educational opportunities, a flawed criminal justice system. He was a man who cared, he was passionate about making a difference.

    He was murdered by another kind of man who had a reckless way of living and a disregard for the sanctity of human life. He was murdered by a white man who was taught to hate the color black as a skin color in a society too often divided by colors, creeds and labels. We need to change our reckless way of living as a people.

    We need to open our eyes and our hearts to see glimpses of truth, as the old hymn admonishes. Open our eyes that I may see glimpses of truth thou hast for me. And may we not just see the truth, but may we speak and act as though the truth is important because it is. When our eyes are opened, for example, to the pain the Confederate Flag flying on the public state house grounds inflicts on a daily basis to many of our citizens, we must make every effort to take it down. We must speak up and act out. (the flag came down on July 10, 2015)

    President Obama spoke in his eulogy about the grace that each of us has from God, but that none of us earned. Regardless of our concept of God, we know grace is unmerited favor. We live in a country of contrasts and  sometimes conflicts, but for those of us to whom grace has been given, we are compelled to share this bounty with everyone we encounter – whether they agree or disagree with us in our political ideals. This is harder to practice than preach. Reverend Clementa Pinckney both preached and practiced grace  in his life as he crossed another kind of bridge – a bridge we will all cross at some point.

    The tragedy of his untimely crossing took Pretty and me on a roller coaster of emotions as we watched the funeral yesterday. From the euphoria of the Supreme Court ruling early in the morning to the depths of despair as we remembered the losses of the Emanuel Nine during the funeral of Reverend Pinckney to the stirring tribute filled with hope by President Barak Obama that raised our spirits once again to believe in the possibility of grace; we crossed over two bridges in one day that we will never forget. Patti Page had none of this in mind when she sang her love song in 1954, but I’d like to  think my mother would be happy to know her music inspired more than a little girl’s learning to carry a tune.

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    Nine years later we continue to cross over the bridges of systemic racism that divide us in this country. The murder of George Floyd in May of 2020 ignited marchers in the streets around the world to cross bridges for civil rights with similar passions to those of  John Lewis and the others who crossed the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, Alabama in 1965. I believe the Black Lives Matter movement along with the passing of civil rights icons Congressmen John Lewis and Elijah Cummings were the beginning of the end for a Trump presidency that failed spectacularly to successfully combat an enemy known as Covid 19 in 2020 – an administration committed more to the stock market than  the welfare of its citizens, a presidency that encouraged politics of divisiveness over unity, a political party with ongoing threats to democratic cornerstones. The loss of nearly 300,000 American lives was, and continues to be, a bridge too far of failed leadership that resulted in the contentious removal of a one-term impeached president  by 81 million plus voters in the November election of 2020; 74 million people voted to re-elect him.

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    And yet here we are in 2024 with 77 million people voting to re-elect a president who has devoted much of his past four years avoiding paying settlements and/or serving prison sentences determined by judges and jurors in courts of law while 76 million people cast their votes for other candidates. The Democrats lost their way and in the process lost the confidence of the American people. It may just be a bridge too far to cross.

  • around our world in 30 days

    around our world in 30 days


    November was a bit of a blur for me after our election in the USA on the 5th. followed by Pretty’s knee replacement on the 11th. I’ve been struggling to regain my thoughts, much less my words. Luckily, I do have a few pictures to share on a cold morning in early December – the first one is a full page ad in the December, 2024 issue of The Atlantic which I had time to read since I no longer watch TV except for Netflix, sports, and the local weather. Wow. Take a gander at this, will you? Maybe I need to go back to TV.

    strategic dating?? like a CEO?? (surely, you jest)

    colors on a morning walk in November

    five-year-old granddaughter Ella creates another persona with a hat

    Ella as Ella leaving for school in November

    Ella and her younger sister Molly who will be 3 years old next month came to visit Nana who was icing her new bionic knee after her surgery – Molly wasn’t sure about the incision, but she leaned over to kiss it anyway because that’s what you do for boo-boos. Then she ran off with a look of horror on her little face. Maybe she needed to ask Naynay for a cookie.

    Pretty walking with a cane for her two-week follow up appointment

    (following week taking short strolls around the house without cane!)

    sisters relaxing on our screen porch in their “Baby” pack and play

    (our friend Curtis made the blanket as a baby gift for Ella in 2019)

    Molly and Ella with cousin Caleb at Thanksgiving

    (Caleb was two years old in August)

    Ella and Molly decorating beautiful tree at their house

    Thanksgiving and the month of November are now in our rear view mirror – the holiday season has officially begun as we race toward the finish of 2024.

    Regardless, our terrier Carl and I are thankful for the colors that hang over us in our backyard every morning in every season.

    Onward.

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    Slava Ukraini. For the children.