Category: The Way Life Should Be

  • dear Santa, send boxing gloves

    dear Santa, send boxing gloves


    Before you ask yourself whether you’ve read this story before, I can say possibly – it’s a seasonal favorite of mine.

    *********************

    “Dear Santa Claus, how are you? I am fine.

    I have been pretty good this year. Please bring me a pair

    of boxing gloves for Christmas.  I need them.

    Your friend, Sheila Rae Morris”

    “That’s a good letter,” my grandmother Dude said. She folded it and placed it neatly in the envelope. “I’ll take it to the post office tomorrow and give it to Miss Sally Hamilton to mail for you. Now, why do you need these boxing gloves?”

    “Thank you so much, Dude. I hope he gets it in time. All the boys I play with have boxing gloves. They say I can’t box with them because I’m a girl and don’t have my own gloves. I have to get them from Santa Claus.”

    “I see,” she said. “I believe I can understand the problem. I’ll take care of your letter for you.”

    Several days later it was Christmas Eve. That was the night we opened our gifts with both families. This year Dude, Mama, Daddy, Uncle Marion, Uncle Toby and I went to my other grandparents’  house down the hill from ours. With us, we took the See’s Candies from Dude’s sister Aunt Orrie who lived in California, plus all the gifts. I didn’t like to share the candy, but it wouldn’t be opened until we could offer everyone a piece. Luckily, most everyone else preferred Ma’s divinity or her date loaf.

    The beverage for the party was a homemade green punch. My Uncle Marion had carried Ginger Ale and lime sherbet with him. He mixed that at Ma’s in her fine glass punch bowl with the 12 cups that matched. You knew it was a special night if Ma got out her punch bowl. The drink was frothy and delicious. The perfect liquid refreshment with the desserts. I was in heaven, and very grownup.

    When it was time to open the gifts, we gathered in the living room around the Christmas tree, which was ablaze with multi-colored blinking bubble lights. Ma was in total control of the opening of the gifts and instructed me to bring her each gift one at a time so she could read the names and anything else written on the tag. She insisted that we keep a slow pace so that all would have time to enjoy their surprises.

    Really, there were few of those. Each year the men got a tie or shirt or socks or some combination. So the big surprise would be the color for that year. The women got a scarf or blouse or new gloves for church. Pa would bring out the Evening in Paris perfume for Ma that he had raced over to Mr. McAfee’s Drug Store to buy just before he closed.

    The real anticipation was always the wrapping and bows for the gifts. They saved the bows year after year and made a game of passing them back and forth to each other like old friends. There would be peals of laughter and delight as a bow that had been missing for two Christmases would make a mysterious re-appearance. Ma and Dude entertained themselves royally with the outside of the presents. The contents were practical and useful for the adults every year.

    My gifts, on the other hand, were more fun. Toys and clothes combined the practical with the impractical. Ma would make me a dress to wear to school and buy me a doll of some kind. Daddy and Pa would give me six-shooters or a bow and arrows or cowboy boots and hats. Dude always gave me underwear.

    This year Uncle Marion had brought me a jewelry box from Colorado. He had gone out there to work on a construction job and look for gold. I loved the jewelry box. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any jewelry.

    “Well, somebody needs to go home and get to bed so that Santa Claus can come tonight,” Daddy said at last. “I wonder what that good little girl thinks she’s going to get.” He smiled.

    “Boxing gloves,” I said immediately. “I wrote Santa a letter to bring me boxing gloves. Let’s go home right now so I can get to bed.”

    Everybody got really quiet.

    Daddy looked at Mama. Ma looked at Pa. Uncle Marion and Uncle Toby looked at the floor. Dude looked at me.

    “Okay, then, sugar. Give Ma and Pa a kiss and a big hug for all your presents. Let’s go, everybody, and we’ll call it a night so we can see what Santa brings in the morning,” Daddy said.

    *********************

    “Is it time to get up yet?” I whispered to Dude. What was wrong with her? She was always the first one up every morning. Why would she choose Christmas Day to sleep late?

    “I think it’s time,” she whispered back. “I believe I heard Saint Nick himself in the living room a little while ago. Go wake up your mama and daddy so they can turn on the Christmas tree lights for you to see what he left. Shhh. Don’t wake up your uncles.”

    I climbed over her and slipped quietly past my sleeping Uncle Marion and crept through the dining room to Mama and Daddy’s bedroom. I was trying to not make any noise. I could hear my Uncle Toby snoring in the middle bedroom.

    “Daddy, Mama, wake up,” I said softly to the door of their room. “Did Santa Claus come yet?” Daddy opened the door, and he and Mama came out. They were smiling happily and took me to the living room where Mama turned on the tree lights. I was thrilled with the sight of the twinkling lights as they lit the dark room. Mama’s tree was so much bigger than Ma’s and was perfectly decorated with ornaments of every shape and size and color. The icicles shimmered in the glow of the lights. There were millions of them. Each one had been meticulously placed individually by Mama. Daddy and I had offered to help but had been rejected when we were seen throwing the icicles on the tree in clumps rather than draping them carefully on each branch.

    I held my breath. I was afraid to look down. When I did, the first thing I saw was the Roy Rogers gun and holster set. Two six-shooters with gleaming barrels and ivory-colored handles. Twelve silver bullets on the belt.

    “Wow,” I exclaimed as I took each gun out of the holster and examined them closely. “These look just like the ones Roy uses, don’t they, Daddy?”

    “You bet,” he said. “I’m sure they’re the real thing. No bad guys will get past you when you have those on. Main Street will be safe again.” He and Mama laughed together at that thought.

    The next thing my eyes rested on was the Mr. And Mrs. Potato Head game. I wasn’t sure what that was when I picked it up, but I could figure it out later. Some kind of game to play with when the cousins came later for Christmas lunch.

    I moved around the tree and found another surprise. There was a tiny crib with three identical baby dolls in it. They were carefully wrapped in two pink blankets and one blue one. I stared at them.

    “Triplets,” Mama said with excitement. “Imagine having not one, not two, but three baby dolls at once. Two girls and a boy. Isn’t that fun? Look, they have a bottle you can feed them with. See, their little mouths can open. You can practice feeding them. Aren’t they wonderful?”

    I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. They’re great. I’ll play with them later this afternoon.” I looked around the floor and crawled to look behind the tree.

    “Does Santa ever leave anything anywhere else but here?” I asked. Daddy and Mama looked at each other and then back at me.

    “No, sweetheart,” Daddy said. “This is all he brought this year. Don’t you like all of your presents?”

    “Oh, yes, I love them all,” I said with the air of a diplomat. “But, you know, I had asked him for boxing gloves. I was really counting on getting them. All the boys have them, and I wanted them so bad.”

    “Well,” Mama said. “Santa Claus had the good common sense not to bring a little girl boxing gloves. He knew that only little boys should be fighting each other with big old hard gloves. He also realized that lines have to be drawn somewhere. He would go along with toy guns, even though that was questionable. But he had to refuse to allow boxing gloves this Christmas or any Christmas.”

    I looked at Daddy. My heart sank.

    “Well, baby,” he said with a rueful look. “I’m afraid I heard him say those very words.”

    *******************

    (This is an excerpt from my first book Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing  published in 2007 when I was 61 years old. The following Christmas one of my best friends Billy Frye gave me a pair of boxing gloves – better late than never, Santa.)

    From our family in South Carolina to whoever you call family – wherever you call home – we send our warmest wishes for a holiday season filled with love for each other, overflowing kindness toward all creatures great and small, good health, joyful memory making.

    Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated and please stay tuned.

  • once upon a time there was a calico cat

    once upon a time there was a calico cat


    Once upon a time there was a thin elderly calico cat with a limp that showed up in the carport of Pretty and her wife who lived on Cardinal Drive. Pretty could never resist a stray cat, neglected dog or random unhappy person so the calico cat was the beneficiary of Pretty’s rescue efforts that began with a water bowl in the carport followed several days later by the addition of a food bowl which required a team to then keep up with fresh water in the water bowl and inexpensive dry pellets in the food bowl which over time became Fancy Feast delicacies – preferably chicken and liver. No fish, please. Seriously?

    Since I keep home fires burning while Pretty manages her antique empire, I begrudgingly became a member of the Calico Cat Rescue Team. Full disclosure: I have never been a cat person. There are dog people, and there are cat people, and sometimes they combine forces in the same lesbian household but I had an unsatisfactory experience with that combination 38 years ago so I wasn’t interested in another combo attempt. Hm…

    Plus, I have a doctor’s excuse for cat allergies.

    However, none of this is relevant to the Calico Cat Rescue Team because here we are six weeks later having a team meeting on a night of heavy rainfall mixed with sporadic lightning and thunder, but the team members aren’t worried about the calico cat named Carport Kitty.

    Carport Kitty is safe and dry in her new condo

    (A word of special recognition to Annie of Animal Couriers who predicted this next step for our team. Girl, you saw this coming all the way across the Pond in France. Ha.)

    The cast of characters for the Cardinal Drive Carport Cat Community now includes the villain Bully Cat and the sneaky Yellow Cat known also as the Orange Tabby who continue to drop in every day to share Carport Kitty’s leftovers, but no one dares approach her highness in her new castle.

    Once upon a time Pretty rescued a calico cat that both members of her team love.

    Pardon me while I go take a Zyrtec.

    ***************

    Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated, and please stay tuned.

  • Hail to the Chief!

    Hail to the Chief!


    (A/P photo/Carolyn Kaster)

    When the Fort Jackson military band played the first notes of “Hail to the Chief” indicating the entrance of President Joe Biden to the Smith Hammond Middleton Memorial Center at South Carolina State University in Orangeburg this morning, I was surprised to feel tears rolling down my cheeks as I watched him enter to deliver the commencement address to the 128 member graduating class. I’m not sure what moved me – I think I must feel sorry for this elderly white man who is trying so hard to do good for so many. And yet, recent polls indicated his popularity with the American people is a dismal 36%. I’ve always been part of a minority; maybe that’s why I cried.

    The Covid pandemic rages again with new twists and turns and more than 800,000 deaths in this country, vaccinations have become political punching bags, Americans may not get all they want for Christmas (and if they do it will cost more), gasoline prices spiked, black lives really don’t matter to police, workers are hard to hire because they are insisting on a decent wage which trickles down like a Reagan economic theory, the Senate is up to its ass in alligators who have forgotten their initial objective was to drain the swamp, January 6th. insurrectionists who attempted to overthrow American democracy are being released on their own recognizance and allowed to leave the country without supervision by judges who support the Big Lie, voting rights are assailed in every state and oh yeah, Russian autocratic president Putin has sent an army of 94,000 out of a projected 175,000 troops to the Ukrainian border to possibly invade in early 2022…to name a few of the problems President Biden has wrestled with in 2021.

    With these overwhelming concerns, what was this President doing in our state today giving a commencement address at a relatively small HBCU in a relatively smaller town 47 miles south of Columbia? The answer is his friendship with Congressman Jim Clyburn who resurrected Biden’s candidacy in the South Carolina Democratic Primary that made him the frontrunner and ultimately the party’s choice for its presidential nomination in 2020. President Biden can thank Representative Clyburn for his desk in the Oval Office of the White House if he has time to catch his breath, and today he did just that.

    Six decades ago a twenty-one year old young man from Sumter, South Carolina graduated with a bachelor of arts degree from the only publicly funded Black college in the state – now known as South Carolina State University in Orangeburg. His name was James Enos Clyburn, and he currently serves as the Majority Whip for the US House of Representatives where he has been a Democratic member since 1993.

    Jim Clyburn graduated from the HBCU in December, 1961 at a time when the college only held graduation ceremonies in the spring so his diploma was mailed to him. When spring rolled around in 1962, Clyburn was already teaching in Charleston and married to his wife Emily who he met while attending State. Both Jim and Emily Clyburn never forgot where they were from or where they attended college.

    Apparently sixty years later, though, Clyburn still wanted “to walk.” But on this occasion while his family watched, his diploma was presented to him by his friend Joe Biden, the President of the United States of America. In his introductory remarks, Rep. Clyburn recalled the parting advice his wife of 58 years gave to him before her death in September, 2019: if we want to win the White House in 2020, Joe Biden must be our party’s nominee.

    Hail to the Chief Joe and Hail to his friend Jim during this holiday season and in the New Year. Bless their hearts, minds and bodies in a time that tries all of our souls.

    *************

    Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated and please stay tuned for a holiday post on a lighter note: Dear Santa, Send Boxing Gloves.

  • it was just a matter of time for Carport Kitty

    it was just a matter of time for Carport Kitty


    Carport Kitty on the move

    Carport Kitty sitting in our driveway assessing the situation

    Hmmm

    inevitable

    I told Pretty I believed Neighbor John must be out of town this week because Carport Kitty, Bully Cat and Yellow Cat a/k/a Orange Tabby have been frequenting our carport daily. For the past couple of nights CK has stayed in the box I improvised for her next to the back door steps she used as her signal it was time for me to prepare her meals. Yesterday was a nasty rainy cold day – I noticed she was in her box every time I opened the kitchen door.

    I had to explain to her that her new home was the best I could do under the circumstances. She seemed to meow back at me as if to say what circumstances? Sigh.

    Carport Kitty has arrived.

    ***********

    Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated and please stay tuned.

  • The Rest of the Story

    The Rest of the Story


    The disappearance of Chinese tennis player Peng Shuai last month following her accusations of sexual assault against a prominent member of the Chinese Communist Party has had international implications for the world of tennis that have now spilled over into the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics which will be played under the cloud of a United States diplomatic boycott that was partially prompted by the censorship of Peng’s social media and subsequent loss of public communication. The ongoing saga surrounding this female tennis athlete jogged my memory bank of two posts I published in early September, 2014 about this young woman’s remarkable experiences at the 2014 US Open. This is the second of two, and it was dated September 06, 2014.

    No Hollywood ending was in store for Peng Shuai at the 2014 US Open tennis tournament, the final Grand Slam event of the year. The crowd of 18,000+  spectators did give her a standing ovation as she left the court yesterday following her semi-final match with Caroline Wozniacki, but unfortunately she left that court in a wheelchair and was unable to appreciate the moment of respect.

    The bizarre ending to an entertaining duel between two tennis gladiators became bittersweet moments of victory and defeat while stirring a swirl of controversy that was as tempestuous as the wind blowing on the tennis courts at the Billie Jean King Tennis Center.  CBS has broadcast the US Open for forty-eight years on television, but this was its final year to cover the event. The Wozniacki/Peng match will certainly be one of the most memorable in the archived footage of its last hurrah for the Open.

    The story of the unseeded Peng Shuai’s two-week run to the semi-finals flew under the radar as she quietly upset three of the higher seeds in the tournament and didn’t drop a set until she lost 7-6 to Wozniacki in the first one of the semi-final. The women played for over two hours in the same challenging conditions of gusting winds and brutal heat that had plagued most of the other day matches throughout the second week of the tournament.

    The second set started with the same equal ferocity of play as the first with long points and breaks of serve, but in the end the outside forces of wind and heat were the winners –  as outside forces often are for all of us in our everyday battles.

    Peng Shuai, who is ranked as the number 39 player in the world,  succumbed to heat illness in the middle of the second set and was ultimately forced to retire…but not without high drama as she reportedly told the medical personnel she did not want to stop play while they were evaluating her condition off the court. Wozniacki remained calm during the eleven minutes of her opponent’s medical evaluation, but the reaction of the TV commentators was less than sportsmanlike.

    Apparently the integrity of the entire tournament was at risk as a result of the possibility that too many minutes were taken between points played in the seventh game which was never finished.  Even as Wozniacki herself came across the court to comfort Peng who had slumped to the hard court surface, clearly in agony with tears, the announcers debated the rules of the game related to forfeiture during cramping. Come on, guys and gals. Seriously?

    Three hours following her retirement from the match Peng Shuai was feeling better physically and when asked about her condition she replied, “Safe now.”

    And then, “I want, but I could not.”

    In this match which was her best finish in her 37th. try in Grand Slam events, Peng Shuai literally left everything she had on the court as she refused to give up.  “I know I’m not going to stay maybe too long, but I just want to try,” she said about her decision to come back on the court after her initial medical evaluation. “This almost two weeks I feel like I play really good and then I just maybe need to believe more in myself. I keep going, fight and then look forward.”

    The good news is that in her home country she is considered to be the “pride of the Chinese people.” The Communist Party People’s Daily says “There is no loser today. Thank you Shuaishuai, you tried your best.”

    When the last ball dropped across the net in the final game before she retired, that is exactly what she did. It is what each of us can do. Pain, suffering, hardships abound – they are the elements in our lives and in the lives of those around us which we feel are out of our control; it is up to us to choose to try to make the circumstances of our lives, our communities, our country better. Often we lack the simple belief in ourselves that we can rise, pick up our racquet and finish the game.

    We must keep going, fight and then look forward. And this, as Paul Harvey used to say at the end of his radio broadcasts many moons ago, is the rest of the story.

    *********************

    As of this date, the whereabouts of Peng are still a mystery. Will she finally have the happy Hollywood ending she was denied in the semi-finals of the  2014 US Open Tennis Tournament? Stay tuned.

    Shuai Peng in Shenzhen, China

    January 08, 2020

    Photo by Zhong Zhi/Getty Images