I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

Category: The Way Life Should Be

  • Lessons from a Butterfly Concerning Casualties

    Lessons from a Butterfly Concerning Casualties


    Five years ago in August of 2018 I published this article I found when I determined to look for inspiration among more than 900 past posts over a dozen years of blogging. More specifically I looked for anything I’d written about “casualties” because it’s a common term the media glibly tosses around in reports about loss of human life in war, natural disasters, mass shootings, epidemics – which seem to multiply with each news cycle. This morning the focus was on the Israel – Hamas War that has already resulted in staggering numbers of death with estimates of more than 1,400 Israelis and more than 10,000 Gaza citizens. What I found when I listened today was how easy it is to be swept up in the totals and to forget that each casualty also represents one person: one man or one woman or one child. A butterfly reminded me on a hot summer day that the cost of individual grief is immeasurable.

    One week ago today I was doing my pool exercises when I saw something so very extraordinary I took a calculated risk to retrieve my cell phone from the buggy it rests in without disturbing the amazing sight.

    butterfly on caterpillar body – gently folding and unfolding wings

    as it moved its legs across the still corpse

    The carcasses of two recently deceased caterpillars lay next to the steps where I entered the pool every day. I scarcely paid any attention to them when I moved down the steps and into the water. After all, the bodies of caterpillars that were casualties of the chlorine were common and a dime a dozen, weren’t they.

    I also paid very little attention to the small dark colored butterfly that flew around me in wide circles for about 15 minutes until it came to rest on one of the caterpillar bodies lying on the cement next to the pool steps.

    I was so startled at the sight that I stopped my pacing to watch as the butterfly established a kind of rhythm – opening and closing its wings while it moved its legs back and forth across the dead caterpillar. I felt like I was an intruder in a private ritual of grief reserved for these tiny creatures that made our human tears a poor substitute. And then I began to think the butterfly didn’t fly away from me because it sensed my shared sorrow.

    Today, exactly one week later, I was on the last leg of my routine early morning walk around the pool when I saw this remarkable sight.

    a beautiful large blue black butterfly landed right in front of me

    This gorgeous creature flew next to the pool steps, landed, and began to open and close its wings just as the one had last week. I sat down in my buggy seat to better observe what I believe was…what?…the same butterfly from last week…another butterfly…what does that matter really…

    What I learned was a powerful lesson about the importance of all creatures great and small, the individuality of grief, the exquisite beauty in hope embraced by a spirit willing to take flight following great loss.

    ********************

    For all children everywhere. 

     

     

  • little miss, big sis

    little miss, big sis


    come on, Molly – let’s have some fun!

    Nana, I’m not so sure about this idea

    Molly, you can always trust a Mermaid

    oh, so THIS is how it’s done!

    Sadie says, why don’t you take a break, Molly?

    but the Mermaid says we can’t stop when we’re having so much fun!

    Molly, Molly – come away with me to my Kingdom in the Sea

    is she serious?

    who knew being a Princess could be so tiring?

    honestly, Nana – I think I’d be happier in a swing

    ***************

    Yesterday afternoon Nana and Naynay had the great pleasure/treasure of watching 21-month-old Little Sis Molly playing with her four year old Big Sis Ella. The imagination of Ella the Mermaid combined with Molly’s adoration of her big sister bring great joy to their Nanas. In these perilous times at home and abroad, I hope they give you a tiny break with a smile on your face.

    ****************

    For all the children everywhere.

  • a later life revelation: am I a Quaker??

    a later life revelation: am I a Quaker??


    “While there are no set beliefs in Quakerism, you will often see a common group of goals, called testimonies: simplicity, peace, integrity, community, equality, and stewardship (SPICES).” When I read this on my Google search for information on Quakers, I said to myself Wow, this is what you’ve believed all your life, these are your core values, turns out you’re a Quaker. Oh, gosh. I was a Quaker for almost a hot minute before I looked at the division within the Friends on the issues of homosexuality and abortion. Sigh. Personal deal breakers for me. So much for community and equality, but count me in for simplicity and peace.

    And while I’m thinking of peace, I must say I hesitate to write about people, places, or events that have the potential to (1) display my ignorance of the world outside my life with Pretty or (2) unintentionally do more harm than good to the universe or (3) some combination of these. However, the events in Israel over the past two weeks have evoked feelings of outrage eerily similar to the feelings of anger I experience daily with the updates on the continuing suffering of the people of Ukraine for the past twenty months. Whether for two weeks or two years, the clarion call for peace is difficult to ignore.

    President Biden addressed the nation this week to reaffirm America’s commitments in Israel and Ukraine, but our assistance is now delayed by our own House divided in the legislative body that is responsible for appropriations – stymied in a quagmire of political posturing for power by people with no moral conscience while a world desperate for responsible leadership waits and hopes.

    During the hot minute I thought I was a Quaker I read a famous quote by an even more famous Quaker named William Penn. Last night Pretty reminded me to refrain from my focus on situations beyond my control, and the Penn quote today hammered home Pretty’s philosophy of living in the moment.

    “I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness or abilities that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

    It seems to me the issue is not about labels, but the questions remain timely for the ages. Can we be kind, will we do good to our fellow human beings? If not today, when? If not us, who? Live in the moment for sure, leave the past failures with their guilt behind – focus on the present with its opporunities for outrageous acts of kindness, everyday rebellions for building communities where equality and inclusion are the foundations of peace.

    Onward.

  • while I breathe, I hope – can I get an amen, sisters?

    while I breathe, I hope – can I get an amen, sisters?


    ticket never used – ERA defeated in South Carolina

    In 1972 the United States Senate approved the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution and sent it to the states for ratification. The following is the gist of the amendment according to the Brennan Center for Justice.

    “Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.”

    Despite the best efforts of many women (and a few men, too), the state of South Carolina failed to become one of the thirty-eight states needed to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment by the 1979 deadline (later moved to 1982) that was approved in 1972 by the SC House of Representatives in a unanimous vote but blocked in the state Senate primarily through the deception of the most powerful Senator Marion Gressette who advised supporters they had his yes vote if they wouldn’t create chaos in the state with their protests. Led by the South Carolina Coalition for the ERA organized in 1973, attorney Malissa Burnette who was president of the newly formed Columbia Chapter of the National Organization for Women, two women from the national leadership of NOW sent to South Carolina to help with lobbying in the Senate in 1977, activists relied on the word of Senator Gressette who ultimately voted against ratification to block the amendment.

    Virginia became the 38th. state to ratify the ERA in 2020, but unfortunately the deadlines for ratification were long gone, and today controversy remains in Congress over whether they can change the deadline to accommodate the Virginia vote.

    When Pretty and I toured the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial in Washington, D. C. in 2003, we saw this quote of his that best expresses my social justice activism over the last fifty years:

    “We must scrupulously guard the civil rights and civil liberties of all citizens, whatever their background. We must remember that any oppression, any injustice, any hatred, is a wedge designed to attack our civilization.”

    While we breathe, we hope. Can I get an amen, sisters?

    Onward.

  • what have you done today to make you feel proud?

    what have you done today to make you feel proud?


    writer Dottie Ashley did groundbreaking reporting

    in The State newspaper on December 10, 1989

    Four years later co-founders Freddie Mullis, Dan Burch, Jeff Plachta and I returned home from the March on Washington in April of 1993 with a vision shared by many members of the queer community that South Carolina deserved a seat at the table with our brothers and sisters on the west and east coasts who were motivated to make a collective economic impact that would effect positive changes for justice, inclusion, and prosperity for everyone. We were ready to organize, and the Guild was formed to focus on these economic issues, to work alongside the already functioning Gay and Lesbian Pride Movement, to create a safe space to gather socially outside the bars – a revolutionary concept in South Carolina at the time.

    First business meeting of the Guild in September, 1993

    The first Palmetto State Business newsletter published by the Guild featured a photo of co-founders Dan Burch (l) and Jeff Plachta (r) with James Carville at the annual Jefferson-Jackson Day Dinner in Columbia.

    Guild members marching in Pride Parade in Columbia

    Growing yellow with age in a folder in my office was this typed note from a 40 year old woman in Florence, South Carolina who wrote to us in the first year we began our meetings:

    I became aware of your organization via your Internet website…I would very much like to join your organization and look forward to meeting other members from the various businesses and professions represented in your organization. Would you please send me information as well as an application for membership so that I may join the Business Guild? I think it is wonderful that the Gay/Lesbian community of S. C. has a Business Guild. Thank you…

    British soul singer Heather Small’s lyrical question what have you done today to make you feel “Proud” is one we must answer for ourselves not only in the queer community but also as a country. I feel proud of the Guild that touched the lives of so many people during its nearly thirty year history. The torch was passed to a new generation of Americans according to President John Kennedy in the early 1960s, but our generation probably wasn’t what he hoped we would be. With our last breaths, however, we have the opportunity to make ourselves feel proud again.

    Onward.