I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

storytelling for truth lovers

  • I’ve seen your swing, I know your swing

    I’ve seen your swing, I know your swing


    TRUMP: Well, I took two tests, cognitive tests. I aced them, both of them, as you know. We made it public. He took none. I’d like to see him take one, just one, a real easy one. Like go through the first five questions, he couldn’t do it. But I took two cognitive tests. I took physical exams every year. And, you know, we knock on wood, wherever we may have wood, that I’m in very good health. I just won two club championships, not even senior, two (sic) regular club championships. To do that, you have to be quite smart and you have to be able to hit the ball a long way. And I do it. He doesn’t do it. He can’t hit a ball 50 yards. He challenged me to a golf match…

    …BIDEN: Well, anyway, that’s – anyway, just take a look at what he says he is and take a look at what he is.

    Look, I’d be happy to have a driving contest with him. I got my handicap, which, when I was vice president, down to a 6.

    And by the way, I told you before I’m happy to play golf if you carry your own bag. Think you can do it?

    TRUMP: That’s the biggest lie that he’s a 6 handicap, of all.

    BIDEN: I was 8 handicap.

    TRUMP: Yeah.

    BIDEN: Eight, but I have – you know how many…

    TRUMP: I’ve seen your swing, I know your swing.

    *****************

    Me:

    Number One – My favorite parts of the great American presidential debate last night were the two commercial breaks when I exhaled.

    Number Two – I am 78 years old, the same age as Trump, and I know I could never win one, much less two club championships playing golf in a tournament not designated “senior” events unless I owned the club and/or sponsored the championship.

    Number Three – uh, I’m not playing if you won’t stipulate…uh, that I have a 6 or maybe 8 handicap, that you have to walk carrying your own clubs while I ride in a golf cart; that I have unlimited Mulligans, and I get to hit from the forward tees. I’ve seen your swing, I know your swing.

    ****************

    One barely septuagenarian candidate has a loud voice full of bravado, but the truth ain’t in him. That sounds like a recipe for disaster. The other barely octagenarian candidate has a powerful record but lacks the ability to communicate effectively anymore. What’s a voter to do? Tick, tick, tick. The clock is ticking toward November.

    Shame on both campaigns for this glaring public display of why many Americans preferred to watch Netflix or refused to watch anything at all like Pretty who went to bed as soon as the Las Vegas Aces won their game with the Chicago Sky at nine o’clock our time. Charly gave me a look and followed Pretty to bed. Carl and I were the last ones standing for the torture that was the political debate, but then Carl is totally deaf and partially blind. I have no excuse.

  • Outstanding: A Netflix Comedy Revolution

    Outstanding: A Netflix Comedy Revolution


    “Closets are vertical coffins; all you do is suffocate to death,” says Robin Tyler who was the first of the 22 LGBTQ+ comedians featured in this hour and a half historic documentary I watched today, thanks to the recommendation of our friend Esther who is not only the woman that gives Pretty and me our monthly pedicures in her salon but also someone that administers viewing reviews as expertly as she does nail polish. When she and/or her wife Frankie like a show, we don’t need to see the previews.

    Marsha Warfield, Lily Tomlin, Wanda Sykes (l to r)

    This Netflix documentary is more than just entertainment; it’s a vital piece of LGBTQ+ history. By illuminating the inside forces of queer comedy across the years, it offers both a celebration of progress and a reminder of the ongoing fight for equality. (Los Angeles Blade, June 22, 2024)

    From Coded Characters to Out and Proud (Los Angeles Blade, 06-22-24)

    The film traces the evolution of LGBTQ+ representation in comedy:

    1. Pre-Stonewall era: Coded characters like Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly, and Rip Taylor
    2. 1970s: Comedians like Lily Tomlin, Robin Tyler, and Pat Harrison pushing boundaries
    3. AIDS era: Activist comedians like Sandra Bernhard, Scott Thompson, and Margaret Cho using humor to combat backlash
    4. Modern day: A diverse generation including Eddie Izzard, Wanda Sykes, Hannah Gadsby, Bob the Drag Queen, and Joel Kim Booster

    I will personally add get ready to laugh – these people are LOL funny. Their journeys are powerful reminders of the world many of us recall, the milestones we’ve experienced with them, through the hilarity of their jokes. OMG. Wanda Sykes’s segment on coming out to her parents as “Black” was one of the funniest routines I’ve ever seen anywhere. Wait for it, laugh, savor, and celebrate with Pride whoever you are on whatever continent brings Netflix to you whether you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community or the larger community of humankind.

    “Comedy is that sugar that coats the medicine,” British comedian and co-creator of Bob Hearts Abishola Gina Yashere tells us. “If you’re laughing, you’re not gonna want to punch someone in the face.”

    Keep laughing, and whatever you do, don’t miss Outstanding: A Comedy Revolution streaming now on Netflix.

  • Post Cards from the Edge…of Time

    Post Cards from the Edge…of Time


    March 17, 1907

    Dear Luke, I miss you so much and am doing all the chores while you are away. Please come home soon. I love you always, your wife Bessie   P.S. It’s okay by me if you vote.

    ***********************

    This is an actual postcard from the early 1900s that I originally published in March, 2017, following an election year in 2016. I am reviewing the 991 posts I’ve made since I began this blog in 2011 and saw this was a favorite among my readers. It’s also one of my favorites – plus it is an election year for us in the USA.

  • Juneteenth! Happy Freedom Day!

    Juneteenth! Happy Freedom Day!


    I’m sure many of you received this letter today from former Attorney General Eric Holder, Jr. If you already read it, please take a minute to absorb it again, and if you haven’t read it – well, trust me, it’s a must read for Juneteenth. I am a native Texan, grew up not too far from Galveston, and am so very proud of my Black family members who will be celebrating with good food, family and friends today. My heart is with them – Happy Freedom Day to all!

    Sheila,

    It’s Juneteenth — marking 159 years since freedom finally reached enslaved Black Americans in Galveston, Texas. And today, while we celebrate the end of slavery, we must do all we can to remember those who endured the unconscionable, this nation’s original sin. 

    You’ve heard me, and others, say this a lot, but we have to say it again: The march towards true, lived freedom is far from over. The struggle continues to this day, but the victories we’ve achieved are only because of the commitment of every new generation to engage in the fight for justice and equality. 

    And don’t get me wrong, we have come a long way since that day 159 years ago in Galveston, Texas. We have made our country a more welcoming, safe, and equitable place for Black Americans. But there is still a long road left to travel. 

    This Juneteenth, while we recognize the continued struggle, I’m still filled with hope for what’s ahead. Our power to make change has never been stronger. All voices in our democracy deserve to be heard, and I’m proud to be working alongside you in the fight to make that a reality. 

    Together, let’s use today to recommit to our shared effort to have this nation live up to its founding ideals.

    Thank you for being in this movement, and happy Freedom Day. 

    Eric H. Holder, Jr. 
    82nd Attorney General of the United States

    All On The Line is the grassroots advocacy campaign supported by the National Redistricting Action Fund. Support our work to end gerrymandering.

    **************************

    Today is also the birthday of Francie Kleckley – wish her a Happy Birthday at http://www.franciekleckley.com and support her campaign with a donation! Hint: $65. would be significant to her, if you catch my drift.

  • Mama Mia, ABBA made me a Dancing Queen

    Mama Mia, ABBA made me a Dancing Queen


    Dancing Queen? Just kidding. Anyone who has seen me on a dance floor from the time my mother tried to teach me how to rock n roll with Dick Clark and American Bandstand after school in the living room of our home in Richards, Texas to dancing with Pretty and our granddaughters in their kitchen to Roe, Roe, Roe, your Vote – anyone who has seen me try to dance will say gosh, Sheila can still carry a tune plus she’s got rhythm but Lordy, that old woman can’t dance.

    I may not be a Dancing Queen, but ABBA will always be my favorite musical group, my go-to songs when I think I can dance.

    Last week I watched the movie Mama Mia with Meryl Streep and a bunch of other people I know and like because it’s on my list of all time favorite movies and because I had a round of the epizooti. It was so good I watched it twice and then moved on to The Devil Wears Prada. I only watched it once, though, you’ll be pleased to know.

    Since I was in a prone position with no urges to dance, I listened to the words of a beautiful, slower tempo song from Mama Mia that Meryl sang in a poignant scene with her daughter. Beyond the obvious feelings I have now with my granddaughters, I can also connect the words to my relationship with Pretty. Life is often slipping through our fingers all the time.

    “Slipping Through My Fingers”

    Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
    Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
    I watch her go with a surge of that well known sadness
    And I have to sit down for a while
    The feeling that I’m losing her forever
    And without really entering her world
    I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter
    That funny little girl

    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    I try to capture every minute
    The feeling in it
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Do I really see what’s in her mind
    Each time I think I’m close to knowing
    She keeps on growing
    Slipping through my fingers all the time

    Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
    Barely awake I let precious time go by
    Then when she’s gone, there’s that odd melancholy feeling
    And a sense of guilt I can’t deny
    What happened to the wonderful adventures
    The places I had planned for us to go
    Well, some of that we did, but most we didn’t
    And why, I just don’t know

    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    I try to capture every minute
    The feeling in it
    Slipping through my fingers all the time
    Do I really see what’s in her mind
    Each time I think I’m close to knowing
    She keeps on growing
    Slipping through my fingers all the time

    Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
    And save it from the funny tricks of time

    Slipping through my fingers…

    *************************

    Overheard in her playhouse from two-year-old Molly this weekend: “Naynay, I’ll never leave you.”