storytelling for truth lovers

  • Sheila Gets a Shave (from Deep in the Heart)

    Sheila Gets a Shave (from Deep in the Heart)


    “George, here comes Sheila for her shave,” said Old Man Tom Grissom, who was already in his favorite spot in the barbershop by the time I got there.

    Ma, my grandmother who had been married to Barber George Morris for over forty years, said Tom Grissom ought to pay rent for all the time he spent sitting on that bench in the shop. Pa, my grandfather the barber, just laughed like he always did. He’d be charging rent to a lot of old men if he ever got started on that. The barbershop was a thriving business on Main Street in Richards, Texas. Main Street was the only paved street in Richards (Pop. 440), and Pa was the sole barber in the area. People drove from all over Grimes County to his out-of-the-way shop with one barber’s chair that was bought in the 1930s when he first opened. Waiting patrons and gossipy old men sat on two wooden benches.

    Past the benches was a shoeshine stand that Pa used when somebody wanted shiny boots. Along the wall behind the barber’s chair were a long mirror and two shelves that held the glass display boxes. One of the boxes housed gleaming scissors, combs, and brushes for haircuts. The other held shaving mugs, razors, and Old Spice bottles for the shaves. Everything was spotless.

    Pa was happy to see me. “Hey, sugar. You here for your shave?” he asked.

    “I sure am, Barber Morris,” I replied in my most grownup customer voice. It was the summer after my second grade in school, and I loved to come to the barbershop. Sometimes I brought my play knife and sat on the porch outside the shop and whittled with the old men who lolled there for hours just talking and whittling. Other times, I had business with my grandfather.

    Like today. Pa got out the little booster seat and put it in the barber’s chair so I could climb up on it. I was too small to sit in the chair without it.

    “How about a haircut with your shave? That pretty blonde hair is getting too long for this summer heat,” he said.

    “No, thanks, Pa. Mama always tells me when to get my hair cut,” I said. “Just a shave today.”

     Old Man Tom Grissom nodded at this. “I sure wouldn’t be cutting that blonde hair without Selma knowing,” he said. “She’s mighty particular about things.”

    “I appreciate your advice, Tom,” Pa said with a trace of annoyance. “But Sheila Rae and I are just having a conversation for fun. Nothing serious.”

    Pa listened as Tom Grissom talked and talked and talked some more about delivering the mail that morning. Being the Richards rural-route carrier was hazardous, to hear him tell it: cows in the road to drive around, barking dogs chasing armadillos right in front of him. This was hard work, and then you had the heat! Why, he couldn’t keep his khaki uniform dry from all that sweat. Yes, sir, this was no job for the faint-hearted. And on and on.

    Meanwhile, Pa had placed the thin white sheet over me and leaned the chair back just far enough to start to work. He lathered up the shaving cream in his mug with the brush and dabbed it on my face. I loved the smell of the shaving cream. He let that soak while he took the razor strop attached to the chair and swished it up and down slowly and methodically to get it just right. It didn’t matter to me that he was using the side without the blade. It made the same swishing noise.

    Then he took the bladeless side of the razor and gave me the best shave ever. He was very careful to get every part of my face. He even pinched my nose so that he got the part between my mouth and nose just so. Pa was an artist with his razor and scissors. He put a warm wet white cotton laundered towel over my face and rubbed off the last of the shaving cream. It felt so clean. Finally, he took the Old Spice After-Shave and gave it a good shake, rubbed it on his hands, and then on my face and neck. Nothing beats the aroma of Old Spice.

    Old Man Tom Grissom said, “Well, that ought to do you for a week or so, won’t it?”

    “Yes,” I said. “Probably so. We’ll see.”

    Pa gave me the worn yellow hand mirror that he gave to all his customers to inspect his handiwork. I studied my face thoughtfully.

    “Well, how does it look to you?” he asked with a smile. “Time to pay up. That’ll be two bits for the shave. That’s with the favorite granddaughter discount.”

    “Very good, Barber Morris. Much obliged.” I reached into my jeans pocket and brought out some play money coins and handed them to Pa.

    Just about that time, Ma drove up and got out of her car. “George, what’s Sheila Rae doing in that chair?” she bristled.

    Old Man Tom Grissom said, “Betha, Sheila Rae’s here for her shave.” Ma gave him a withering look and said, “Is your name George? Don’t you have any mail to deliver, or would that require removing yourself from that bench you warm every day?”

    I got down from the barber’s chair and ran over to Ma and tried to reassure her that everything was all right. Ma looked at Pa and said this was just what she had been telling him the other night about encouraging me in all this foolishness.

    “She shouldn’t be spending her summer hanging around this shop,” she said, looking accusingly at Pa, who said nothing.

    “Ma, can I have a nickel to go get an ice cream cone at the drug store? Getting a shave makes me hungry.” Ma never said no to me, so I got my nickel and left. I walked across the street to Mr. McAfee’s drugstore and got my Blue Bell vanilla cone and headed home.

    I saw Ma and Pa still in animated conversation at the shop.

    Old Man Tom Grissom had gone home.

    **********************

    Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing was published in 2007 when I was 61 years old. Much has changed in the past 16 years, but I continue to smile when I read this story of the little girl growing up in the 1950s in the tiny town of Richards, Texas. I can see her now walking the block on a red dirt road from the house where she lived to Main Street, not in any hurry but not dawdling like she did some time, on her way to town. Summertime meant no school, looking for things to do during the day for the only child whose few playmates might not be around, so her mother let her go to town to be entertained by her grandparents. Her mother’s mother worked in the general store as a clerk, so Sheila Rae could stop there for a hug and maybe a nickel for a candy bar unless her grandmother had customers in the store, or she could walk past the general store and the post office to the next small building that housed the barbershop owned by her grandfather on her daddy’s side. Someone once said to my father, “Glenn, you have such a happy child. She’s always smiling,” to which my daddy replied, “Why shouldn’t she be happy? Nobody ever tells her no.” When I wrote this book in 2007, I’m sure I didn’t fully understand what he meant by that remark. Now that my wife and I have two granddaughters, I totally get it.

  • find your happy place

    find your happy place


    From our first trip together to Cancun, Mexico in 2001…

    …to a recent outing 22 years later with our granddaughters at a local Mexican restaurant…

    …Pretty and I have considered Mexican food to be nectar of the gods

    Viva! Viva!

    Find your happy place – and stick with it.

  • memory makers over Memorial Day

    memory makers over Memorial Day


    (l – r) Molly, Ella and Caleb

    Our granddaughters sixteen-month-old Molly with three-year-old big sister Ella plus their ten-month-old first cousin Caleb had a room with a view in our Memorial Day weekend place in the mountains of the South Carolina upstate. This is their story.

    Caleb, come with me, said Molly

    then Ella said Caleb, don’t go with Molly – she’s a drama queen

    so Caleb stayed with Ella, and Molly sat by herself

    I’ve got my baby and my guard dog Carl, Molly said

    Carl and I can hang out with Naynay

    **********************

    I went for a walk with my Aunt Darlene, said Ella…

    I petted a baby goat at the Farmer’s Market…

    I had s’mores around a big campfire while Molly and Nana talked

    Mama and Daddy were all smiles when we went to dinner

    *************************

    and then every night Naynay and I were so tired we went fast asleep

    while Nana read her book

    The End

    ***********************

    Slava Ukraini. For the children.

  • I will be missing you, Tina Turner

    I will be missing you, Tina Turner


    Every time I think of you
    I always catch my breath
    And I’m still standing here, and you’re miles away
    And I’m wondering why you left
    And there’s a storm that’s raging
    Through my frozen heart tonight
    I hear your name in certain circles
    And it always makes me smile
    I spend my time thinking about you
    And it’s almost driving me wild
    And there’s a heart that’s breaking

    Down this long distance line tonight
    I ain’t missing you at all
    Since you’ve been gone away
    I ain’t missing you

    No matter what I might say
    There’s a message in the wire
    And I’m sending you the signal tonight
    You don’t know how desperate I’ve become
    And it looks like I’m losing this fight
    In your world I have no meaning
    Though I’m tryin’ hard to understand
    And it’s my heart that’s breaking

    Down this long distance line tonight
    I ain’t missing you at all
    Since you’ve been gone away
    I ain’t missing you

    No matter what my friends say
    And there’s a message that I’m sending out
    Via telegraph to your soul
    And if I can’t bridge this distance

    Stop this heartbreak overload
    I ain’t missing you at all
    Since you’ve been gone away
    I ain’t missing you
    No matter what my friends say
    I ain’t missing you, I ain’t missing you

    I can’t lie to myself
    And there’s a storm that’s raging
    Through my frozen heart tonight
    I ain’t missing you at all
    I ain’t missing you, missing you
    I ain’t missing you, no, no
    I ain’t missing you
    I ain’t missing you, I ain’t missing you
    I ain’t missing you, I ain’t missing you
    I ain’t missing you, I ain’t missing you
    Every time I think of you
    I always catch my breath

    These lyrics written in 1984 by John Waite became a #1 hit on Billboard’s Album Rock Tracks, then covered by other artists through the years until it reached Tina Turner’s Wildest Dreams album and tour in 1996 where it found a home in the hearts of millions of Turner’s fans – including mine.

    From the Spring Hills Baptist Church choir in Nutbush, Tennessee as a child of the late 1940s to concert halls around the globe that set ticketed attendance records including her largest venue with more than 180,000 fans in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil in 1988 Turner entertained and amazed millions of people for nearly six decades with her raspy voice, high energy, sexy self. Her ability to overcome, to survive and thrive in a man’s music world were an inspiration to everyone that knew her story.

    Thank goodness for YouTube videos of Tina Turner who has often been referred to as the Queen of Rock and Roll – I watched my favorite, the Amsterdam concert, through tears when I heard she had left the building.

    Every time I think of you, I always catch my breath…this week I spent my time thinking of you, and it’s my heart that’s breaking.

    RIP, Tina Turner. I will be missing you.

  • Calling All Lesbians – Time to Speak Out!

    Calling All Lesbians – Time to Speak Out!


    My most recent interview with Dianne Barrett for the B-E Collection is now available on the website under Coming Out stories. I think it’s probably my best of the three I’ve had with her. Certainly my most relaxed. If you or someone you know should be included, please help spread the word.

    The B-E Collection Mission Statement

    My spouse, Margaret Elfering, and myself, in conjunction with archives such as the June L. Mazer Lesbian Archives and the Gerth Archives and Special Collection at California State University Dominguez Hills, will contribute an ongoing series of interviews of lesbians and their careers.  The collection will be known as the B-E Collection: Lesbians and Their Careers.

    The “B-E” of the collection is a shorthand for our last names (Barrett – Elfering).  However, there is a second meaning to our collection’s name:   the verb “be” is also defined as “to exist” or “to occur or take place”.  Our collection is a means of bearing witness to the stories of lesbians of different generations, from different walks of life.

    The mission of this collection is to dignify the accomplishments, pride, and effort lesbians put forth in their careers on their journey in life.  We make oral histories to document our existence then and now.  Many of us had the “don’t talk – say nothing – you are wrong” experience.  Now we are talking.

    We would appreciate a referral of lesbians who might be interested in participating in our project.  We would be more than delighted to speak with anyone who you think would be interested in participating in the B-E Collection.

    Your support is always a gift.

    Dianne Barrett

    Please check out this important project and consider adding your stories at the following address:

    https://www.b-ecollection.org

    Won’t you please contact Dianne to add your voice – every story is important, and it’s so simple: a zoom call that’s less than an hour, at your convenience. The project has been expanded to include stories on additional topics.

    Bring it, sisters. Tell your Coming Out stories to someone who will not only appreciate but also preserve them.

    *********************

    P.S. I also want to say a huge personal thank you to Barbara Embick for her participation in this important project.