I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

Tag: 2016 elections

  • breaking news: interview with a Mushy Middler


    My fake news interview with a Mushy Middler was first published here in August, 2017, one year after the US presidential election of 2016. With the 2020 election less than two months away, I wondered whether the mythical “mushy middle” is as powerful today as it was four years ago or whether our current climate of increased political unrest has caused this group to dissipate.  American voters are either “for” or “against” with no room in the inn for a middler. True or false in 2020?

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    The mushy middle – and I’m not talking Hostess Twinkies here. No, the “mushy middle” and the “soft center” are names given by politicians and pollsters to the highly sought after mostly silent majority of the electorate who have never attended a rally other than a pep rally at school, never written letters to the editor, regularly watch both Fox and CNN  for their news, don’t give a tinker’s dam about confederate statues, and pal around with friends whose major topic of conversation isn’t politics. Holy Smoly, life must be much less stressful in the mushy middle, or is it?

    Inquiring minds want to know, so I’ll Call It took to reality blogging and found a card carrying member of the Mushy Middle who agreed to be interviewed as long as she could remain anonymous in order to avoid “outing” any of her middling friends. The interview was conducted two days before the Eclipse.

    I’ll Call It: For the record, is it true you identify as a member of the Mushy Middle?

    MM: Yes, that’s true. I am a proud member of the Mushy Middle and I’ll tell you why – I am always Undecided until the very last moment before I step into the voting booth. I vote for the person – not the party because I don’t like either one of those behemoth political machines that are 100% responsible for the mess we’ve made in our country. Basically, I think all politicians are crooks. 100%.

    I’ll Call It: I see. Well, do you mind telling me the name of the person you voted to elect President in 2016?

    MM: I voted for Donald Trump, but I didn’t tell anybody…not even if they asked, and a lot of those pollsters called me to ask. I thought it was nobody’s business if you care to write that down.

    I’ll Call It: Hm. Yes, I’ll definitely put that down; thank you for that bit of information. I really appreciate it. Do you mind telling me what characteristics of Donald Trump appealed to you?

    MM: Certainly. For one thing, he wasn’t Hillary Clinton. Everybody knows she’s a crook and a liar – they’ve already proved that with those emails of hers, haven’t they?

    I’ll Call It: Well, actually no. But surely that wasn’t the only reason you voted for Donald Trump?

    MM: Of course not. Are you calling me one of those women haters who don’t want other women to succeed – is that what you’re trying to say because if it is, I’m calling off this interview right now. I’m beginning to get a sneaking suspicion you’re trying to trap me into saying something I don’t mean, and I don’t like it one little bit. As a matter of fact, I don’t like you. Period.

    You’re one of those elitist bloggers running around putting words in people’s mouths and making up phony photos showing KKK members with machine guns, for God’s sake. I have friends in the KKK, and they are super nice people who wouldn’t hurt a fly.

    I’ll Call It: No, that’s simply not true. White supremacists and KKK groups aren’t the good guys really. They go against everything America has stood for since we got started. They don’t believe in equality and justice for all. Their beliefs are the antithesis of our core beliefs in a democracy.

    MM: Oh yeah? Well, who else cares enough about our country’s history to try to preserve these beautiful statues we’ve had everywhere for two hundred years? What are we going to do with all the holes where the beautiful statues were? Has anybody thought about that?

    Furthermore, I get it. I see you are not anything but a fake news reporter, so I am terminating this interview. Don’t ever let it be said that a Mushy Middler can’t smell a skunk a mile away. Adios. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

    I’ll Call It: But I wasn’t done – we never got around to why the Mushy Middle is  apathetic to the political happenings in America today or what you thought about Steve Bannon’s being kicked out of the West Wing.

    MM: I am sick to death of jerks like you who think you’re so smart and know everything. I don’t want to be on your side or their side. I just want to go my own way so leave me alone! Who’s Steve Bannon?

    P.S. Okay, so maybe the interview wasn’t as successful as I’d hoped, but I learned one thing for sure. Clearly the Mushy Middle isn’t as apathetic as advertised. Holy Smoly.

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    Stay safe, stay sane and please stay tuned.

     

     

     

     

  • The Women on my Ballot in 2016


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    My wife Teresa a/k/a Pretty in cyberspace was on my ballot…as she left to vote at our precinct early this morning, I thought to myself how fortunate I am to be married to a woman who shares my passion for the political and the underdog and is always an activist for social justice wherever she sees the need. I love you, Pretty.

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    My paternal grandmother Betha a/k/a Ma who is sitting next to my grandfather and looking down at her grandchildren in this old picture is on the ballot. Her  wicked sense of humor, her storytelling and her love of family – I wonder what she would have thought about a woman being President of the United States. I’m sure she would have had an opinion and would have voted for her in the early voting for Grimes County, Texas.

    Moving left to right, my mother sits just above and behind my grandmother. My little mother who taught elementary school for twenty-five years after getting her college degree when I was twelve years old, my little mother who played the piano in Southern Baptist churches for more than sixty years, my little mother who was the only person in the world who refused to believe her daughter was a lesbian but finally came to love her unconditionally in her last days…she is on the ballot today.

    This little girl grew up in the Great Depression as the baby of four children raised by a single mother after her father died when she was nine years old. Her mother, my maternal grandmother Louise a/k/a Dude, is on the ballot today. She isn’t in the picture, but she would have loved the idea of a woman as POTUS. She struggled her entire life by working six days a week in a general store as a clerk – and had to fight off the unwanted sexual harassment of the store owner with no legal recourse in the 1940s and 1950s; only the courage and determination she brought with her every day to work allowed her to maintain her dignity and self-respect in the midst of adversity.

    My Aunt Mavis who is sitting next to my mother in my Uncle Ray’s embrace is on the ballot today. In 1969 when she was faced by discrimination as a woman for a promotion in a company she had worked at for many years, she stood up and confronted her employer in Houston, Texas – and lost. She was fired as a result of her stance and really never recovered from the blows she suffered emotionally during that time. She was a working mother of three boys whose second income was important to their family. I admired her for her bravery to take on a fight against all odds and even though she lost, her courage was an inspiration to me. My Aunt Mavis would have rejoiced at the idea of a female POTUS.

    Finally, the woman in the middle holding the little girl is my Aunt Lucille, and she is on the ballot today. She would have been thrilled to vote for Hillary and Tim because she was a Yellow Dog Democrat and would have hit the one button for the whole ticket in her Beaumont, Texas precinct, where no doubt she would have been in the minority but she wouldn’t care. This was a woman who kept going in the midst of personal struggles she never shared with her family – a woman who was ahead of her times in her passion for politics, people and cultural relevance. In her almost 93 years, her mind remained sharp, clear and inquisitive. I loved her dearly.

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    This is my second mother, Willie, and she is on the ballot today. She was my mother’s best friend for almost 50 years and was a very big part of my life during that time. She worked hard, she played hard, and she raised a large family that includes three daughters Leora, Lorna, and Barbara and a granddaughter Carmen who have become very special to Pretty and me. Willie would have had a great deal to say about a woman running for President of the United States, but I’m sure she would have laughed all the way to the voting booth in Fort Bend County, Texas. I would so love to be able to pick up the phone and talk to Willie today. I miss her more than words can write.

    I don’t have a picture of my Aunt Mildred, but she is on the ballot today. She was a mother of five who worked as a secretary/assistant in the local bank in Navasota, Texas and ended up running it for all practical purposes in the 1960s. She was a kind, sweet woman who loved her children and grandchildren – but also thrived at a job which offered her the opportunity to truly make a difference in her community. I believe she would have liked to see a woman on the ballot in today’s election.

    These are the women on my ballot today. When I was in the grocery store this afternoon, I saw a number of women with I Voted stickers on. I have no idea who they voted for, but I’d like to think that every woman I know voted for the women in their past as well as the woman on the ballot. Stronger together. Now that’s real power.

     

  • Guess Who’s Coming to the Al Smith Dinner?


     

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    Okay. So raise your small hands (or medium or large ones) if you’ve never even heard of the Al Smith dinner until last night.

    Aha. I see those hands, as the Southern Baptist revival preachers used to say from the pulpit during the altar call or “invitation” as we called it back then when we sat on the small wooden pews with the large ceiling fans moving too slowly to stir the air in the Texas summer heat – even in a church as tiny as ours was in the 1950s. The revival preacher would be hotter than a two-dollar pistol when he was preaching about the fire and brimstone hell would bring to all sinners who refused to repent that  very night – who knew if you would make it until the next night of the week-long revival…

    “Bow your heads. Close your eyes, and pray,” he would say as he grabbed for the white handkerchief in his suit pocket to wipe the sweat dripping from his forehead to the tip of his nose. “Now with every head bowed and every eye closed, just raise your hand if you know you are a sinner bound for hell unless you get right with God tonight. That’s it. Just slip that hand on up right where you are without anyone looking. Yes, I see that hand.”

    And so did I.

    Because of course, I had to look. My head was bowed, but my eyes were not closed. I confess I wanted to know who was going to hell. I wanted to make sure all the people I loved weren’t raising their hands and I was always particularly focused on one of my uncles who was suspect.

    Last night’s Al Smith Catholic Charities dinner also ended with a prayer, but it was a benediction – not an altar call. The Al Smith fundraiser takes place every four years during the political campaign season and gives the two presidential candidates an opportunity to meet on neutral ground breaking bread together and sharing a few jokes to make fun of themselves in front of a thousand people who paid $6 million dollars to hear them. You know, jokes, as in funny hahaha or lol if you prefer.

    Unfortunately, this year’s Al Smith dinner was the night after the final presidential debate which was the conclusion of three such meetings that were all notorious for the brutal exchanges between the two candidates. Mean, mean and not a dancing machine between them. But here they were having dinner at a long table with only a Catholic Cardinal between them. I pitied Cardinal Dolan. He tried so hard to divide his conversation evenly between the two of them that his head was actually spinning and his little red cap fell off. Uh, oh. Bad sign.

    The candidates both proved they weren’t comedians but did get a few laughs – and a few boos. It’s really difficult to be booed at the Al Smith dinner, but DT didn’t get the memo about the event being just for fun and engaged in inappropriate behavior and mean-spirited attacks against Secretary Clinton that provoked loud boos. Imagine that. Rudy Giuliani didn’t get the memo to smile when he was on camera. Tsk. Tsk. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.

    I have a really good friend named Donna who didn’t see the dinner on TV last night but woke up this morning to the clips that showed the jokes that were more insults than funny haha and she texted me that she was so disgusted with the campaign she was going to shut down her Facebook and TV altogether until the election is over…maybe forever.

    I totally get that. But here’s the thing. We are now less than three weeks away from November 8th. We are in the home stretch. This will end for almost everyone on election day so don’t throw up your hands whatever size they are now because I will be looking to see if you have stayed focused and voted.

    That’s right – even in cyberspace I will keep my eyes open to make you heed the altar call to vote.

     

    P.S. My dog Charly is unaffected by the political turmoil of this campaign season – I hope your weekend is as laid back as hers.

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  • We Are F-A-M-I-L-Y?


    I wonder. If we are truly “family” then we are like many families – highly dysfunctional.

    The older I get the less I value the opinions other people have of me including my height and weight, my politics, my white hair, my house with the Tara columns, my old truck and car, my dog that jumps the fence on a regular basis which annoys me so I know it must annoy my neighbors, my sexual orientation, my “falling away” from the church, my obsession with the tennis majors and sports in general…so if you don’t like any of these traits, perceived foibles or inherited genetics well, to quote Rhett Butler, frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. At seventy years of age I’m not hopeful for makeovers in any of these areas.

    Family, on the other hand, is a core value with me. You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family, can you? My family is what I started with, and my family will be what I end up with – if I have anything to say on the subject. So whatever attack you have up your sleeve, please don’t disrespect my family. I know I have cousins who aren’t what we hoped they’d be, but they’re my cousins after all and perhaps I’m not what they hoped I’d be, either. But hey, don’t disrespect my cousins in front of me.

    The same feelings go with my country. I don’t know how I was fortunate enough to be born in the United States, but I was and am proud of it. Being an American is another core value for me – democracy is a fundamental principle that I cherish and every year or two or four I watch as the election process unfolds and shake my head or nod it at the conclusion of the campaign seasons when the results are announced. That’s that until the next time. Case closed. You win some. You lose some.

    Here’s the thing. Don’t disrespect democracy – not in front of me, not now, not ever. Don’t sneer at what makes our country great right this minute – free elections with a smooth transition of power. Is the process absolutely 100% guaranteed to not have any flaws at all? Not a chance. But is the process and outcome a cornerstone of our family values as a free nation? You better believe it.

    Some of us were born into the American family, some of us made a conscious choice to join our American family – but ALL of us believe that we wake up every morning in a free country where no one is about to form a military coup to pick our next President, don’t we?

    So we are a dysfunctional family these days and this election season has been “nasty.” But make no mistake – our f-a-m-i-l-y is what we honor as Americans – it’s what we will vote to protect, preserve and defend on November 08th.

    Seriously.

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  • Doubling Down on Debates, Dems, Demagogues, Divisiveness and Depression: I VOTED


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    The most recent polling of my personal state of mind reveals a slight shift from 52% Negative and 48% Positive to 52% Positive and 48% Negative. Jeopardy host Alex Trebek asks what are readily identifiable factors that have led to this impressive 4-point swing? The answer is the Daily Double, or the Daily Doubling Down: I voted. My depression is slightly improved without an increase in my anti-depressant medication.

    I feel like a great burden has been lifted from my scrambled brain that has been trying for the past two years to sift facts from fiction at debates in the bruising endless primaries and now bipartisan presidential debates. Is it my imagination or are the debates really longer with just two candidates onstage than they were with a gazillion candidates vying for attention. Whatever. For the most part, the candidates have been unresponsive to the moderators’ questions, and the moderators have been unresponsive to their unresponsiveness. The single most consistent feeling I have after I watch a debate is that I would have been a better moderator. I’m just saying.

    But guess what?

    What?

    I don’t even need to watch the final debate tomorrow because I already voted. Yep. One of the perks of being older than dirt is the right to vote absentee and I jumped all over that yesterday. Me and my 1.5 million early voting friends, that is.

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    Today’s buzz words for the campaigns according to the political talking heads are Doubling Down. Whatever a candidate advocates that will solidify her/his voter base (those voters who will vote for you regardless of any mention of sex, lies, emails or videotapes), now is the time to pull out all the stops, say whatever motivates your base the most and make sure your peeps vote. For example, comment on the “rigged system” of voting in general. This is Doubling Down – a populist candidate appealing to supporters who already feel like political outsiders – by attempting to suggest the voting process itself is fundamentally flawed. Oops – flawed unless you win, of course.

    I pity the Undecideds because they will, no doubt, be watching tomorrow night’s debates with the same “wishy- washyness” they’ve been watching all of the previous ones. They’ll still be hanging onto the sounds and images of every political TV commercial between now and November 08th. hoping and praying for that moment of inspiration, that pearl of wisdom which will finally push them into someone’s camp. But not me. I already voted. I can mute those suckers and the divisiveness they perpetrate.

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    No really, seriously. I voted.