Tag: humpty dumpty trumpty

  • Breaking News! Top Secret National Security Meeting in Situation Room of the White House

    Breaking News! Top Secret National Security Meeting in Situation Room of the White House


    Knock, knock said someone who was outside the situation room.

    Who’s there? shouted President Humpty Dumpty who sat in the middle of a long oak conference table, surrounded by old white men he knew best – those he could trust implicitly to maintain secrecy for the matters involving the country’s current directions under consideration. Maga, Maga, Magoos. Hey, hey.

    McDonald’s delivery, Mr. President, replied the young male voice on the other side of the door to the situation room. I have your two Big Macs, two orders of fries, plus eight Heinz ketchup packages, extra salt. One chocolate shake. The same order I brought you yesterday.

    Somebody let this guy in, said President Dumpty in his loud voice. Bring me the food, bring me the food. I haven’t eaten since breakfast.

    Dr. Wizard interrupted as a quiet murmur circulated throughout the group of twenty faithful MAGOOS who were shaking their heads. Mr. President, I don’t think this food is good for you at your age. We just celebrated your 79th. birthday over the weekend. Your diet is much more important now for your overall health to get a beautiful medical report.

    Hey, Wizard, I count on you for the beautiful medical reports, answered President Dumpty. If my report isn’t as beautiful as the one we used before the election, you’re fired. Everyone at the table changed their head shakes to emphatic nods.

    Tom Sawyer had opened the door to the situation room and retrieved two McDonald’s food bags from the delivery boy who waited in vain for a tip, sighed, and closed the door behind him. Sawyer took the food to President Dumpty who immediately began to eat. The aroma of cheeseburgers and fries filled the room while Sawyer sat down next to his friend Huckleberry Finn. The two exchanged glances.

    All of a sudden President Dumpty threw a Heinz ketchup pouch at Dr. Wizard. What the holy f–k is this? he shouted. Whoever heard of pink ketchup? Smells like RFK Jr. BS to me. I let that freak get away with the vaccine drama because I could care less about measles, but when he starts messing with my ketchup, he’s gone too far. I want him gone. Somebody make a note.

    No one moved until Atticus Finch remarked there could be legal repercussions with firing RFK Jr. this early in the administration. The President threw another ketchup package at Finch who dodged successfully.

    You people annoy the hell out of me, President Dumpty said. I’ve had a beautiful idea of how to improve security to keep criminals and rapists from crossing along the southern border. Tomorrow I’m flying down to Texas to inspect the wall personally. I’ve asked the military to set me at the top of the highest section and plan to wave at the losers trying to cross from Mexico. No one understands our national security like I do. Meeting adjourned.

    The next day, true to his word, President Humpty Dumpty flew to Texas and a Marine helicopter lowered him to a small chair at the top of the wall. Unfortunately, when he turned around to address the throngs of people below on the Mexican side, his beautiful plan became a disaster as he fell to his death on the American side. President Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, and no one could put him back together again.

    Dr. Wizard became President. RFK Jr. was allowed to continue his war on vaccines and food dyes.

    Stay tuned.

  • yep – this is who we are

    yep – this is who we are


    The images flashing across the television screen this week were appalling but compelling. I couldn’t look away, even when I didn’t want to see, much less believe, what was happening in my nation’s capitol. An estimated 10,000 of mostly white people who looked like me stormed the Capitol building in Washington, DC where the Senate and House of Representatives were in session to count the votes the 50 states’ electors had sent to the two bodies for a ceremony that was usually a pro forma final recognition of the results of the previous November election.

    Not so much this year. Donald Trump, not unlike Humpty Dumpty, had sat on the largest wall of power in the world as president of the United States and had suffered a great fall when he lost his position in a free and fair election on November 03, 2020. Since that loss, apparently all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Donald Trump together again.

    The king’s men ran around the country challenging election results in scores of courts ranging from state and federal courts to the Supreme Court of the United States with the same decisions. Humpty Dumpty lost fair and square; please stop bothering us with baseless complaints. But Mr. Trump, who had spent most of his adult life in court battles long ago learned to believe the courts were fallible – even unreliable. He thought his appointment of not one, not two, but three Supreme Court justices during his term of office would finally give him the wins he so desperately craved through the legal system. Shockingly, to him and me, the courts held fast and repeatedly ruled against him.

    Meanwhile, back at the ranch or the White House if you prefer, the Covid pandemic raged on with more ferocity than a Category 5 hurricane. Ignoring the warnings of our medicine men, millions of Americans traveled throughout the country by plane, train, bus and automobile during the holiday season to visit friends and family who either unknowingly carried the coronavirus to the travelers or caught it from them. Rates of infections in the past two weeks have skyrocketed while hospitals and their staffs have been stressed to breaking points. Deaths stand at nearly 370,000 individuals today. Mr. Trumpty hasn’t noticed, or if he has noticed, he hasn’t commented on the losses.

    He did, however, promise that the king’s horses would deliver a hundred million doses of new vaccines by the end of 2020 when in fact Newsweek reported on December 28th. that the actual number of vaccines administered on that date was closer to 2.1 million. Another loss to absorb and ignore.

    Was it really just one week ago today that Mr. Trump called the Georgia Secretary of State to ask him to find 11,780 votes to reverse the results of the November election in Georgia? Gosh, that bullying phone call, which accomplished nothing more than another revelation of his delusion, seems tame now compared to the events I witnessed four days later on January 6th.

    All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again. Mr. Trump’s big lie that he won re-election in November, a lie that he tweeted incessantly over social media, a lie that he used to raise hundreds of millions of dollars from his more than 74 million faithful followers who voted to re-elect him was the lie that led to the images of destruction and deaths in our nation’s Capitol this week.

    Many of the king’s men and women reported for duty at a large rally in which the king and his surrogates urged them to storm the Capitol to bring an end once and for all to the transition of power to anyone other than himself on January 20th. Mr. Trump promised to march with them to accomplish the coup that would guarantee Joe Biden and Kamala Harris would not replace him. It was Humpty Dumpty and Custer’s last stand. By the way, he retreated to the safety of the White House to revel in the dangerous mission instead of keeping his word to join the march.

    The painful images keep coming – new ones every day – the wonder of cell phone cameras recording the faces and horrific actions of mob violence in my country. I feel overwhelmed, depressed, shamed, sickened at the sights of the attack on our democracy displayed for the world to see.

    President-Elect Biden and I grew up in the same generation, and from his words of hope and his insistence that what happened this week was not what America really was, I knew he and I were on the same page. The man carrying the Confederate flag in the rotunda of the Capitol, the man sitting with his legs propped up on a desk in Speaker Pelosi’s office, the men and women shattering glass, breaking historic relics, vandalizing individual offices, in general disrespecting the building that represented the legislative branch of our government – those people whose actions resulted in the deaths of five others – they weren’t the Americans Joe Biden and I remembered.

    Nonetheless, we are the Americans who immigrated from faraway places, spread disease and killed the population living on this land in order to take the land from them. We are the Americans who used slavery to build on this land, to work the crops on the land, to be the backbone of our agrarian economy. White equaled might for us and when the colors of our nation became more colorful, we are the Americans who feared for our destiny.

    When Joe Biden and I celebrated putting a man on the moon, we are the Americans who refused to guarantee health care for everyone. While he and I celebrated rugged individualism, bringing ourselves up by our bootstraps, we forgot some people didn’t have boots. More recently, we looked past the atrocities of Guantanamo Bay, brown children separated from their families living in cages at our borders, black children denied access to quality education which placed them at higher risk for quality jobs, poor people of all races who live today in food insecurity also known as hunger. Gun violence, police brutality toward people of color, denial of climate change, homelessness – the list goes on. We are all of these Americans.

    But Mr. Trump and his white nationalist friends are losers. He lost the presidency, he lost the Senate, and he lost the House of Representatives for his Trumpty Party. His attempt at overthrowing our democracy failed. His white nationalist friends are scattering to the winds as quickly as the planes can fly them home. The reality show is over for now.

    I believe Joe Biden and I can listen and learn to be better Americans. I think Kamala Harris will help raise the consciousness of what the next generation of Americans can be. That thought gives me hope for my granddaughter’s future.

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    Stay safe, stay sane and please stay tuned.