The impartial Judge has reviewed the entries for the First Annual Cyberspace Awards for Memorable Quotes and would like to say thanks to all who participated in the inaugural event. The response has been so overwhelming that plans are already being made for next year’s contest. There is even discussion of a possible pageant to select a Miss Memorable Quote Queen in the week preceding the contest plus a Spelling Bee with a Music Festival featuring gospel music and clogging and square dancing on the grounds the weekend following the pageant. (We’re not sure exactly where the “grounds” will be as of this writing since we are all in cyberspace.) As you can see, the possibilities are endless.
The competition was steep and the variety of quotes entertained the Judge who had to think and think about the 10 Best but hearty congratulations to the Winners:
1. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
(Yogi Berra submitted by Warren Wood)
2. Well, you know what they say. If you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me.
(Steel Magnolias submitted by Donna Cox Bull)
3. I detect, like me, you’re endowed with the gift of gab.
(Ulysses Everett McGill in Oh Brother, Where Art Thou submitted by LeighAnne Thacker Cogdill)
4. He is so stupid he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel.
(Harriet’s father submitted by Harriet Hancock)
5. The first two letters of ‘done’ spell ‘do.’
(Bob’s mother submitted by Bob Lamb)
6. Nothing is as strong as gentleness. Nothing so gentle as real strength.
(Sitting Bull submitted by Kathryn Van Aernum)
7. Pink is the new navy.
(Diana Vreeland submitted by Ann d’Onofrio)
8. Thank God and Greyhound he’s gone.
(Original submitted by Debbie Atkins Long)
9. I did my best, God did the rest.
(Hattie McDaniel submitted by Sheila Claus)
10. Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead.
(Anonymous submitted by Bob Lamb)
Runners Up
If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always gotten.
(Anonymous submitted by Bob Lamb)
It’s cold as a witch’s titty in a brass bra.
(Anonymous submitted by Debbie Atkins Long)
Honorable Mention
We’re a day late and a dollar short.
(Anonymous and never really submitted by Lisa Martin who is still waiting for 11 o’clock in a different time zone)
And finally, the Lifetime Achievement Award for Memorable Quotes goes to Jim Blanton for creating a new category which will be typo-gravestones. This year’s all-time favorites came from Oakland Cemetery in Gaffney, South Carolina:
An infant’s gravestone that proclaims: IN HEAVEN THERE IS ONE ANGLE MORE
And a portion from the Rev. D. D. Robinson’s rather lengthy stone…AND HE WENT ABOUT DOING GOOD TO CHRISTINAS EVERYWHERE
And that’s a wrap. Thanks again, fellow quote collectors. May the words be with you.
I'll Call It Like I See It 