Category: Humor

  • Lost – and Found

    Lost – and Found


    We took a road trip last week from our homes in Columbia and West Columbia, South Carolina, to Orlando, Florida, to celebrate granddaughter Ella’s sixth birthday on the first day of October, 2025. Parents Drew and Caroline with grandparents Nana and Naynay left on a Monday with granddaughters Ella and Molly two days before Ella’s birthday and returned on the Sunday five days afterwards which meant we were gone for seven days in case anyone is counting. We stayed on the premises of Walt Disney World for a fabulous, fun time arranged by Ella’s mother Caroline with the help of a woman she met in her business networking group.

    The 450-mile drive down the I-95 corridor should take 6 hours and 30 minutes (unless you stop several times along the way including an hour visit to one of the countless Buc-ees in Georgia where Ripley’s Believe It or Not should know it’s possible to spend $8. per minute.)

    and I have the receipt to prove it

    Ella the Birthday Girl looks happy to climb a light pole

    in Buc-ees parking lot

    are we there yet? not yet

    Day One: Typhoon Lagoon at the Orlando water park

    Ella leaps from a canoe while Molly a bit more cautious

    Both Ella and her younger sister Molly (three years old, will be four in January) are water lovers – what could be easier to start the magic of a Disney vacation and work out the kinks from ten hours in the car on Monday than a Tuesday at a pretend beach with a pretend ocean to begin to get a sense of the fun we would experience every day for a week? What could possibly go wrong?

    Sigh. These days, if there is a way for me to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, I am apt to do it. Day One took a frightening turn for me when I wandered around the entire circumference of the Typhoon Lagoon with little Molly in tow while I looked for our family in their beach chairs. The more we walked, the more every part of the lagoon looked the same. I realized we were lost.

    Suddenly Molly broke free from my grasp and ran toward one of the large water slides. I had a sickening feeling as she climbed the steps with the much older children, smiling at me when I yelled for her to get down. A teenage girl who was the life guard sat at a little table at the top of the stairs but seemed oblivious to my calls and gestures for her to stop Molly before she reached the big slide.

    Then she vanished. By that time I was also moving as quick as I could through the water to climb the stairs. I can’t see my little girl, I screamed at the lifeguard. I think she just went down your slide, and no adult was there to catch her!

    What color suit was she wearing? Pink, I answered.

    I think I see a little girl down on the beach in a pink suit. She looks like she’s crying. You can’t see her unless you go back down the stairs, she added.

    I turned around, flew down the stairs (again “flew” is subjective for a 79 -year- old woman), and there stood a tearful Molly with a kind random couple who were trying to understand her tears. Molly’s look was relief mixed with what? I’ll never know for sure, but I do know she was happy to see me.

    Minutes later the search party of Molly’s daddy and Nana reached us to rescue us from our wanderings. Frantic cell phone calls from Nana had identified our location. Once upon a time we were lost, but now we had been found. All was well at the Typhoon Lagoon.

    Ella was happy to have her little sis safe in her arms

    Travel tip: make sure Naynay remains where you last saw her. Trust me – she did.

    *******************

    Mystery of the Missing Legacy Award Solved by Pretty and Drew

    Teresa found the award in Drew’s truck when we were packing for our trip. He didn’t know we didn’t know he had it! It’s appropriate for us to place it in our den in front of Drew’s high school football picture, don’t you think? Whew. So thankful to have it home where it belongs – not nearly as grateful as I was to find Molly, though.

  • honesty is the best policy, or is it?

    honesty is the best policy, or is it?


    Half a truth is often a great lie.

    Actions speak louder than words.

    Once in a blue moon, we catch someone red-handed when they are trying to pull the wool over our eyes.

    Caught with their hand in the cookie jar, weaving a web of lies, playing fast and loose with the truth.

    crying wolf together

    An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

    ********************

    I’ve always been partial to idioms – stay tuned.

  • Bennie the Superstar: A Journey from Bottle to Big Boy

    Bennie the Superstar: A Journey from Bottle to Big Boy


    For the multitude of readers requesting an update on our little bottle-fed Summer Superstar, we have good news. Cheryl, Bennie’s new Upstate Mom, sends us pictures and videos showing Bennie’s good fortunes.

    Bennie learning to eat with his three Big Brothers –

    he’s a Big Boy now – one of the guys!

    he loves to run and chase the Brothers,

    but then he gives everyone a rest when he takes a break

    Thanks to the US Postal Service for preserving Bennie’s sweet face (or some other lucky puss) on a Forever Stamp. It’s a collectible, right?

    And thanks to Cheryl for the updates, pictures, videos – we miss him and are grateful to her for keeping us in touch.

    Pretty has a new bumper sticker on her work truck:

    You go, Pretty.

    Onward.

  • the Three Wise Men they are not

    the Three Wise Men they are not


    Trump to Putin – a Love Song

    Fools rush in
    Where wise men never go
    But wise men never fall in love
    So how are they to know
    When we met
    I felt my life begin
    So open up your heart and let
    This fool rush in

    (nineteen days later at large military parade in Beijing)

    Honestly, Xi, I don’t know where Trump gets the idea I’m in love with him, protests Putin.

    That’s just how fickle his love is, Kim Jong Un blurted out. I have the love letters to prove it. What a two-timer. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.

    Boys, boys, settle down in front of the military. We’ll discuss the United States back at the palace – we’ll sign secret tariff agreements and maybe have time for a round of golf. We’ll play at MY club where you fellows have a chance to win, Xi said. As for Trump, I’ll set up a zoom call of let’s make a deal with him that will send him down to Heartbreak Hotel. He ain’t nothing but a hound dog anyway. Crying all the time.

    Now smile. I’m ready for my close up.

  • The Joy of Jungle Croquet: A Day in the Blue Ridge

    The Joy of Jungle Croquet: A Day in the Blue Ridge


    Spoiler alert: the person sitting down was the winner.

    I am surrounded by the players:

    Pretty, Darlene, Dawne, Patti and Dan

    (Dan was the person who invented Jungle Croquet

    and designed the course)

    Pretty felt confident during our soothing pre-match meditation

    I wasn’t happy with my orange ball,

    but everyone else picked theirs first

    I started out “hot” and never looked back at my competition

    Pretty and sis Darlene couldn’t believe their eyes

    (these Williams sisters have the confidence of winning like two other Williams sisters who are household names in another sport now being played in New York)

    getting down to the wire – Patti, Dan, and Pretty try to catch me

    in the end, it was all about second place!

    the medal winners: Dan with silver, Patti with bronze, and well,

    the gold went to me for some reason

    known only to the gods of pure chance

    Jungle Croquet was a throwback to my childhood croquet games in Texas where we always played at family reunions. I’m saying regular croquet – not anything resembling the course in the High Country of the Blue Ridge Mountains in North Carolina where Pretty and I visited last week and were fortunate to meet Dan and Patti who graciously invited us for a game on Dan’s awesome course.

    I finally figured out the “Jungle” name started with a Tarzan movie that had nothing to do with croquet at all.

    If only I had had the good common sense to stay in the car at one of the breathtaking walkabouts on the way back to our lodging afterwards, I could write the day was perfect. Alas, I tripped on a large tree root when we were walking to look at a river, fell onto a large brier bush, and was lucky to have three women with me who managed to lift me to a standing position. Also lucky no one captured that on a video.

    shoulda had that stick before the tree tackled me

    thanks to our hosts Dawne and Birthday Girl Darlene (and Gabe)

    For the laughs, amazing scenery, Jungle Croquet, and the wonderful experience of family in their beloved Blue Ridge Mountains. I do love the mountains, I love the rolling hills…I love the flowers, I love the daffodils…I love the fireside when all the lights are low…

    thanks to Dawne and Darlene for sharing these photos