Category: Humor

  • lesbian jungle

    lesbian jungle


    Vintage Paperback & Pulp Fiction Cover Art1966

    “I don’t know why, but of all the girls I’ve had in my life, Renna has always been different … special … but I’m afraid things will never be the same between us. I’m a full-fledged butch, now, and I feel, at times, that it repels her”–Cover blurb.

    Pretty had a large collection of lesbian vintage post cards in Bluestocking Books in the early 1990s, and one of them is now part of my little sandwich bag conglomerate collection of cards on my desk. Oh yes, I “rediscover” these gems periodically, and Lesbian Jungle is a favorite. Imagine.

    Today I needed something fun to distract me from the Biden Administration’s recent disasters. Don’t get me wrong. I love Joe and the folks he has working for him but please don’t say drone s—-e, immigrants under b—-e in Del Rio, Texas. C—d anything. French ambassador r—-l. These words seriously make me cringe in horror today. You have to do better, Joe. Where is Kamala?

    Instead, I bring you a cheerful picture of the cover of a lesbian pulp paperback published by Publishers Export Company in 1966. The cover artist was unknown, but Jeffrey Luther with PC Design copyrighted this post card of the cover in 1999. Thank goodness the French Line (see top left of post card) survives as hopefully my French followers who rank #4 on my international blog stats will, also. Please stay with me, Annie and Animal Couriers – what would we do without you?

    I was interested to see that censorship of this particular literary genre in the 50s and 60s required the story to end unhappily for the lesbian heroine. There could be no happy homosexuals which probably explains the grumpy little girl in the picture frame next to the post card above. I know 100% she was too young to read lesbian pulp at the time she posed for this picture, but she already understood the endings.

    It’s a jungle out there so stay safe, stay sane, please get vaccinated, and please stay tuned.

  • is new Stop Sign a sign for me?

    is new Stop Sign a sign for me?


    We have a new Stop Sign one block from our house on Cardinal Drive in West Columbia. Now why would our sleepy Westover Acres neighborhood require a new traffic warning, I wondered.

    Does this have a deeper meaning for me? Hm. I wonder if my activism should become more “active” than sending words into cyberspace to create awareness of social injustice, the importance of family as a cornerstone of values I believe to be true, current events that shape our lives, and what else?

    Oh well, more later…this is an unrelated photo from our back yard this week…

    I ain’t no butterfly

    Stay safe, stay sane, please get vaccinated and please stay tuned.

  • this is how Pretty rolls

    this is how Pretty rolls


    Every three months for many years I have sent a small check from our joint account to the Animal Rescue Mission in Columbia. Pretty understands I have a macro overview of the world’s problems.

    Pretty, on the other hand, puts this water bowl in the carport for a small cat who sleeps under our truck at night. She handles micro issues to rescue any animal she sees in need.

    P. S. Before you ask, we had a small mysterious fire in our carport this week from spontaneous combustion of South Carolina heat with flammable substance of undetermined origin. Remains and ashes directly above water bowl.

    Stay safe, stay sane, please get vaccinated and please stay tuned.

  • Tina and Elvis

    Tina and Elvis


    My first major league concert was to see Brenda Lee perform in Houston when I was in the seventh grade in 1959. My daddy and mama took me to see her because I loved her songs and her singing when I was thirteen years old living in a small rural town in Grimes County near the Sam Houston National Forest deep in the Piney Woods of southeast Texas. I was raised on gospel music concerts in singing conventions at Bays Chapel Baptist Church on Sunday afternoons following dinner on the grounds. Good quartet singing with different relatives participating, good piano playing by the greatest gospel piano player of all time Charlie Taliaferro.

    I can’t imagine either one of my parents spending money to buy the tickets – much less driving me nearly 80 miles from Richards to Houston for the Brenda Lee concert unless they had planned a side trip to the Bargain Gusher to look for clothes for work. What I remember most about my first concert experience was the large number of strings hanging from Brenda’s petticoats. We must have had binoculars; she must have been without a wardrobe person that night.

    Through the years my memories of musical concert experiences include Neil Diamond, Elton John, Diana Ross, Dolly and Kenny, Dolly by herself, the Judds (twice), Cher, K.T. Oslin, Bette Midler, Patti LaBelle, Cynthia Clawson (in church – does that count?), Willie Nelson (twice), Nancy Griffith, Alison Kraus, Melissa Etheridge, the Indigo Girls and the infamous Prince concert for my 65th. birthday. Infamous because Prince was one of Pretty’s favorites – we had great tickets, but I listened from the steps of an exit at the Colonial Life Arena – the decibels were intended for younger ears than mine.

    What I think about today, however, are the two performers I had the opportunity to see but passed on for whatever lame reason I had at the time: Elvis and Tina Turner. For the life of me I find these two blanks on my concert cards the most troubling since Elvis’s Golden Records released in 1958 was the first lp album I ever owned. My maternal grandmother’s sister, my Aunt Dessie from Houston, gave the album to me because she knew I had a portable turn table in a small square blue box that would play it. She was right – I played that album over and over again. Thank goodness the turn table was sturdy.

    Elvis was the young man with sideburns who promised to spend his whole life through loving you which I interpreted as loving me, but he was then drafted into the Army during the Korean War. I couldn’t believe the government was that cruel when Elvis sang they shouldn’t be. Yes, Elvis, the man whose musical career I followed throughout his life from sex symbol to husky size. He made sixteen personal appearances in Houston between 1954 and 1976, but I saw Brenda Lee.

    Elvis also sang one concert at the Carolina Coliseum here in Columbia on February 18, 1977…six months before he died. I remember thinking I ought to go since I lived within 15 minutes of the coliseum – but opted to wait for a later time that was not to be. As for Tina Turner – what was happening in my life that would prevent my attending her concerts at that same Carolina Coliseum in 1985 or 1987 or 1993? Pretty told me she saw Tina with her sister Darlene at the 1985 concert – in her BS (before Sheila) years. That’s Pretty for you – naturally she wouldn’t want to miss Tina’s hits like What’s Love Got to Do With It?, Private Dancer, Nutbush City Limits, We Don’t Need Another Hero, and my all-time favorite of favorites Proud Mary. Clearly I missed the Tina personal appearance boat, but wait. All was not lost.

    Thanks to the 21st. century miracles of You Tube videos I’ve had the best seat in the house at Tina Turner’s concerts in Barcelona, London, Amsterdam, Rio – I’ve joined tens of thousands of fans at some of the largest venues in the world. I’ve drooled as I watched Tina perform Proud Mary with Beyonce at the Grammy Awards – and shed a tear during a special performance of Simply the Best on the intimate set of the Oprah Winfrey Show for Oprah’s 50th. birthday celebration where she and Tina embraced after they danced together. Oh yeah, I’ve seen Tina in concerts, in interviews, in a documentary of her life – the good news is I can watch her whenever I want to, as often as I like and not have to worry about the person in front of me being too tall.

    Pretty indulges my Tina time with a smile of understanding, even encouragement. She still owes me for Prince.

    As for the old Elvis You Tube experience, count Pretty out.

    ****************

    This post was originally published in August of last year – what prompted the reblog? Oh gosh, coincidentally going to see the recently released Elvis movie in the same week I randomly scrolled You Tube and landed on the Amsterdam Tina concert. What are the odds?

  • it’s been so long since I’ve had pancakes I forgot the syrup

    it’s been so long since I’ve had pancakes I forgot the syrup


    So this morning I took three of the remaining nine frozen buttermilk pancakes from the freezer, removed the plastic wrap, carefully placed them apart on a microwave safe plate, heated them on high for 1 minute 40 sec, removed, took them to my tray table in front of my recliner in the den and began to eat as I watched tennis replays from last night’s matches at the Western and Southern Open.

    The pancakes were supposed to be my reward for more than five months of pancake abstinence in my personally designed program for changing old eating patterns that included three Eggo buttermilk pancakes for breakfast for as long as I could remember. I mean I could have done a commercial for these frozen pancakes for years. I fought a battle every day to just eat three of them – true love.

    But today I was disappointed in how bland they tasted. Seriously, what had happened to my favorite breakfast delicacy?

    I stared at my plate.

    No syrup, I thought. I had forgotten to follow the most important ritual of opening the pantry door every morning to get the bottle of syrup to place on my tray table while the pancakes were in the microwave. Sweet Suffering Jesus, as the Derry Girl mother would have said if she’d forgotten the syrup for pancakes.

    Also, I forgot the pancakes should be nuked in a small stack – not carefully separated like first, second and third base on a baseball field. Sigh.

    My reward lacked the punch I hoped it would pack.

    I think I’ll try again tomorrow morning. I do still have six in the freezer, and disappointing rewards should be given a second chance.

    ***********

    Stay safe, stay sane, please get vaccinated and please stay tuned.