We think of our lives in different ways from ourselves and others like we think of our families in different places but never being too far away from what we may think of as home.
Everyone, on the other hand, acknowledges agreement on the cycle of life we believe in, and that circle we envision shows babies being born to parents who care for and protect their young until they are able to care for themselves, ready to leave to experience life on their own. In this life cycle we envision in our minds, parents will precede their children in death.
Sometimes that picture of a life cycle is cruelly interrupted by a parent’s loss of a child while they, the parents, survive. These parents walk through the valley of the shadow of death as the psalmist wrote in the 23rd Psalm in the Bible and yet I find the Psalm is incomplete for I have witnessed tragic losses that broke the life cycle we expected. Some of those parents who remained were very afraid for their children and themselves. They feared the Evil of Death while they lost their faith in the future.
Many years ago I wrote a poem about women who lose their children – some without warning, some after a short illness, some after an illness that lasted too long – but all out of our expected cycles of life.
Rainy Day Women
Their faces wear grief like blocks of stone.
Their eyes see, and their ears hear,
But they are in a separate place.
The roads they walk are backwards,
And their direction is aimless.
They are the mothers who have lost children.
They weep with no tears.
They mourn without ashes,
Their names are Sorrow and Emptiness.
How can we reach their separate place?
How can we touch the blind and deaf in their grief?
Our words are all we can offer.
Not for a minute, not for an hour, but for as long as they live.
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This post is dedicated to Francie Kleckley in memory of her daughter Kathryn.
Before 7:00 a.m. last Wednesday, February 8th., 22 year old Amir Locke was sleeping soundly, wrapped in a comforter on a couch inside a Minneapolis apartment. A police bodycam video shows SWAT team police officers entering the apartment at that moment by quietly turning a key to unlock it, bursting through the doorway yelling Police! Search Warrant! One of the officers kicked the sofa where Locke was sleeping. Locke, a Black man, seemed to be startled and tried to sit up while holding a gun he had legally purchased for protection in his work as a driver for a food delivery service in the Minneapolis/St.Paul area. A few seconds later, Amir was shot and killed by policemen serving a no-knock warrant – but not for a warrant against Amir.
Sound familiar? It really should. Next month, March 13th., marks the two year anniversary of the murder of Breonna Taylor, the 26 year old Black woman killed by police in her own apartment in Louisville, Kentucky. Ms. Taylor was an Emergency Room tech for the University of Louisville Health. Three police officers fired 32 bullets in the early morning raid that killed Taylor, hitting her six times.
Jury selection has begun this week (two years after the fact) for Louisville Metro ex-police officer Brett Hankison on charges of wanton endangerment because he fired recklessly during the early morning raid into Taylor’s neighbor’s apartment where three people were inside. He also fired 10 shots into Taylor’s apartment, but his bullets were not the ones later identified as killing her.
No one has ever been charged in Breonna Taylor’s death.
Marisa Lati in an article in The Washington Post on February 03, 2022 writes “Ben Crump, an attorney for Taylor’s family, said the three felony counts of wanton endangerment against Hankison should be the lowest charges among many in the case. ‘The trial of Brett Hankison recalls the inconceivable lack of justice for Breonna Taylor,’ he said in a statement. ‘It is hard to comprehend that this is the only criminal trial to emerge from the botched no-knock raid that took her innocent life and subsequently shook the nation.’ ”
Reporting by Sara Burnett of the Associated Press on February 05th. states Amir Locke had recently filed paperwork to start his own music business and was leaving Minneapolis to move to Dallas next week to be closer to his mother. Locke’s family said he had no previous criminal record. Amir was born in the St. Paul suburb of Maplewood, grew up in the suburbs where he played basketball in middle school and tried out for the high school football team but a broken collar bone ended his athletic career. Music became his passion, he loved hip-hop and “speaking about the realities of what’s going on in the neighborhood,” according to Andre Locke, his father.
February is designated Black History Month, and the clouds that cover me today are for these two young people who should have been contributors to that history but whose names now become reminders of the ongoing lack of equal justice and systemic racism instead. Amir Locke. Breonna Taylor.
Hear their voices as Oprah explained the remarkable cover of Breonna Taylor for the September, 2020 issue of Oprah Magazine:
“For the first time in 20 years, @oprah has given up her O Magazine cover to honor Breonna Taylor. She says, Breonna Taylor. She was just like you. And like everyone who dies unexpectedly, she had plans. Plans for a future filled with responsibility and work and friends and laughter. Imagine if three unidentified men burst into your home while you were sleeping. And your partner fired a gun to protect you. And then mayhem. What I know for sure: We can’t be silent. We have to use whatever megaphone we have to cry for justice. And that is why Breonna Taylor is on the cover of O magazine. I cry for justice in her name…”
Today on this 08th. day of Black History Month I also cry for justice in Breonna Taylor’s and Amir Locke’s names, two young people who made history for the wrong reasons but whose legacy will forever be linked to the struggles for justice for all Black people everywhere. Say their names.
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Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated, get boosted and please stay tuned.
“Sport is unpredictable. I kept remembering how many times I lost here like 2012 [5 hours, 53 minutes in five sets to Novak Djokovic] and 2017 [Roger Federer in five sets]. I was not ready for these battles, but today was the day I gave everything.” (Press conference in Melbourne following Rafael Nadal’s victory at the 2022 Australian Open)
Down the first two sets in the best three of five against the second seed twenty-five-year-old Daniil Medvedev, the thirty-five-year-old Nadal who was seeded sixth in the tournament said following the match that his win in this year’s final at the Australian Open was the greatest comeback of his career. I say amen, Brother Tennis Man. For five hours and twenty-four minutes, you gave everything.
Pretty asked me Saturday night if I planned to watch the men’s singles final beginning at 3:30 a.m. Sunday, and I replied no, I think I’ll just record it. Pretty looked surprised since I watched the women’s final at that mad hour Saturday morning and had watched Rafa’s previous six matches to get to the final. No one, including me, was surprised with Aussie Ash Barty’s win over American tennis player Danielle Collins in straight sets in the women’s singles final. I enjoyed the match, but I had no intense feelings about the outcome.
The Nadal/Medvedev match was a horse of a different color. My love for Rafa has grown over the past twenty years along with the increased coverage of televised “live” tennis tournaments. I like his passion for playing each point regardless of the score, the work ethic he brings to preparation, the respect he has for his opponents, his own love of sport in general and tennis in particular. I even find his obsessive compulsive behavior entertaining. Whenever I had the opportunity to watch Nadal play on television, I took advantage of it. So when Pretty asked me if I was getting up to watch the final at 3:30 a.m., she thought I would say yes.
Uncharacteristically I said no, I don’t think so. Too much was on the line in this match for Nadal. He was tied in the race for men’s Grand Slam singles tennis wins with Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic at 20 each. History was hanging in the balance in the AO final for him. He had only won the Australian title once in his twenty year career – in 2009 when he defeated Federer in five sets. That was one win in seventeen tries. Not a great track record down under. Plus I knew Rafa had been plagued for the past six months with surgery and rehab on his left foot that was always a problem for him so he had limited preparation for this tournament. In addition, Rafa had tested positive for Covid in December, been very sick for two days and wondered what effect the virus would have on his stamina. I believed it would take a miracle for him to win against Medvedev, and I honestly didn’t want to see it “live.” My nerves would be jangling, I thought. That’s why I said no when Pretty asked me if I was going to get up at 3:30 a.m. Sunday.
But of course, I woke up at 4:30 a.m. wondering about the match. Curiosity got the best of me, and I staggered into the den to click on ESPN. As I feared, Nadal had lost the first set 2-6; but as the second set began, I saw something in the way he was competing that appeared more forceful than I had hoped. I was hooked, but he lost the second set in a tiebreak that was, oh so close.
Mind over matter. The spirit must be willing for the flesh to suffer as Nadal often says his uncle Toni Nadal taught him from the age of three when he began learning to play tennis on the island of Mallorca in Spain. Uncle Toni’s training has been reinforeced by Carlos Moya who is Nadal’s team captain, the leader of a small group of friends on his team that supported Rafa as he transcended tennis history to become the first man to win twenty-one Grand Slam Titles in singles at the 2022 Australian Open. It was Nadal’s version of the Mallorca Miracle in the final three sets – a clinic in determination, persistence, and brilliant problem solving under immense pressure. Billie Jean King says pressure is a privilege and if she’s right, no one is more privileged than Rafa Nadal was in the last three sets of the AO final.
2-6, 6-7, 6-4, 6-4, 7-5 was the score when the last gong sounded for Medvedev who had competed like the champion he is in the long, grueling match that pitted the two men like sweaty prize fighters in a boxing ring instead of the Rod Laver Arena with a seating capacity of 14,000+ fans that were overwhelmingly supporting Nadal. The Aussies love their tennis – Nadal is a favorite – the crowd was pulling for Rafa. Poor Daniil who Rafa said afterwards “always has been nice to me.”
“I’m so tired I can’t even celebrate,” Nadal said to the reporters at his press conference following his victory. He had to ease down in the chair provided for him to sit and answer questions about the match and his future.
“I know no one expected me to win…but the support of the crowd helped me…I understand what 21 means, and I feel honored. Of course it means very much to me…my love for the game, my passion for it, my working spirit to play a beautiful sport that makes me happy. I know I have fewer chances to win so I stay more in the moment now than looking toward the future…”
Alana Holmberg for The New York Times
I was never a very good tennis player when I was a member of the tennis team in high school but I enjoyed playing for fun in college and the years beyond. My serve and volleying days are over, but my passion for the game lives on. Thank goodness for the magic of the fuzzy images of the small screens that became larger ones in high definition in my lifetime. I’m grateful to have lived in the golden age of the Big Three men plus a diverse collection of women legends over the past six decades that includes Billie Jean King, Chris Evert, Martina Navratilova, and the Williams Sisters (Serena and Venus – not Pretty and Darlene).
I said farewell to the 2022 Australian Open this past weekend – Pretty is hopeful the clay court season starts soon and that The Tennis Channel will have better coverage for me than ESPN did for the summer down under.
Rafa Nadal at the Australian Open in 2012
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Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated, get boosted and please stay tuned.
Thirty-two year old Alize Cornet of Nice, France upset former world #1 tennis player Simona Halep in the 4th. round of the 2022 Australian Open tennis tournament in Melbourne to move her into the second week of a grand slam tournament, any grand slam tournament, for the first time in her life. She had played in 62 consecutive main draws in grand slam events but never made it past the 4th. round.
In sweltering 90+ degree heat against one of the most formidable opponents in women’s tennis today, Cornet defied herself and the oddsmakers by defeating Halep in a best two of three sets match. She was overcome by tears of joy, perhaps a generous helping of disbelief, and said in her interview following the match, “It’s never too late to try again.”
For Cornet, regardless of her results in the quarterfinals this year, the number 63 will always be her magic number.
Alize Cornet (Wikipedia image)
Should you be able to answer a quiz on who the following eight women in alphabetical order are: Ashleigh Barty, Danielle Collins, Alize Cornet, Kaia Kanepi, Madison Keys, Barbora Krejcikova, Jessica Pegula, Iga Swiatek. Only if you’re following the women’s singles matches in the 2022 Australian Open because these women are not household names; yet they survived the challenges of competing against the heat, their opponents and themselves to reach the quarterfinals in week #2 of the first grand slam event of the year. They are the best of the best down under in 2022. And I dare you to pronounce their names out loud.
Twenty-seven year old Ash Barty is no surprise to make it to the Elite Eight of the tournament since she is currently ranked #1 in the world by the Women’s Tennis Association, a place she has held since September, 2019. She won the French Open in 2019 and Wimbledon last year – but has yet to capture the trophy in her home country of Australia. However, this future Hall of Famer is the odds-on favorite to hold the trophy in 2022.
Both Polish tennis player Iga Swiatek and Czech player Barbora Krejickova have won the singles titles at the French Open, too. Swiatek won at Roland Garros in 2020 while Krejickova won the French last year in both singles and doubles. Twenty year old Swiatek is the youngest of the select group, currently ranked #8 in the world by the WTA, and is seeded #7 in this year’s Australian Open. Krejickova, twenty-six years of age and born in the Czech Republic is currently ranked #5 in singles in the world, seeded #4 at the AO so Swiatek and Krejickova, like Ash Barty, are not surprises in the quarterfinals this year.
The oldest women’s singles player in the quarterfinals of the AO, thirty-six year old Kaia Kanepi was born in Estonia, is currently ranked #63 in singles by the WTA, and was unseeded in this year’s AO. She’s reached the quarterfinals of the French, Wimbledon and the US Open before but this is her first time to make the second week in Melbourne. She’s a bona fide surprise.
Finally, there are three American women who are in the quarterfinals of the AO in 2022, and the big surprise to me about all of them is that none of their last names is Williams. For as long as I have been watching tennis, and that’s probably more years than most of my friends in cyberspace have been on the earth, the names Venus and Serena have defined the American tennis landscape. Venus won the AO two times – Serena has seven trophies from Melbourne. But these amazing women didn’t make the trip this year.
With gratitude and appreciation for the legacy of the Williams sisters, three American women represent in the second week quarterfinals of a grand slam tennis event in Melbourne. Remember the names of twenty-eight year old Danielle Collins who played varsity tennis at the University of Virginia and was a semi-finalist at the Australian Open in 2019 but is seeded #27 in this year’s grand slam; twenty-seven year old Madison Keys was a semi-finalist at the AO in 2015 but is unseeded at this tournament since her WTA ranking slipped to #51; and nearly twenty-eight year old (b. 02-24-94) Jessica Pegula who made the quarterfinals of the AO last year, too, but was eliminated by another American player Jen Brady, who lost to Naomi Osaka in the final. Brady was unable to participate this year due to a foot injury.
I love to watch tennis matches on all surfaces during the season – the clay courts are my favorites, and I think I heard a random comment on the Tennis Channel those tournaments will begin next week as the Australian Open closes. I have to say I hope the vaccination drama is over and that everyone learned a valuable lesson from it. In sports the name is the game. When I watched the remarkable tennis played by the eight women who are now in the quarterfinals, I almost forgot the hullabaloo that preceded their stellar performances.
I’m not an oddsmaker, but I wouldn’t bet against any of the women in the quarterfinals. I do predict outstanding tennis from them. May the best woman win.
Alize Cornet has already won.
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Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated, get boosted and please stay tuned.
So you think you know snow? Ha. We are rolling in it in the sunny South.
only one dog outsidewith me this morning
Schools closed yesterday, the day before the snow. Many businesses including our favorite Mexican restaurants closed, but Pretty’s antiques empire remained open to the few brave souls up for a winter adventure in Little Mountain, South Carolina. Grocery store shelves were emptied of necessities like bread and caffeine free diet coke. Everything was in short supply when I ordered my groceries from the store to be delivered by Instacart yesterday so limit 1 per customer of everything including Nestle’s Crunch Bar. Nestle’s Crunch Bar? Seriously? Pretty will be most unhappy.
Worst news: Jersey Mike’s sign on the door yesterday that said Out of Bread. Jersey’s is our latest food obsession because I can count exact calories on every sub sandwich and Pretty has discovered their veggie culinary delight with Portabella mushrooms. (Convicted Subway Spokesperson Jared was my inspiration for the benefits of healthy eating habits, but of course I switched to Jersey Mike’s to totally dissociate my plan from his plus they have better bread.)
Best news: Rush’s didn’t close. They did not run out of tea or french fries that are not part of my healthy eating program – but my one weakness. Sigh. I bet you can’t eat just one.
Ok, so my friend Paula in Minnesota had outdoor temperatures this morning of 8 degrees that supposedly felt like minus 1 degree while I walked for five minutes in the yard to take pictures for Pretty who would have missed the whole snow thing otherwise since her favorite winter activity is to sleep through the month of January with hopes spring will be here when she gets up to greet Groundhog Day. Pretty prefers to hibernate.
My friend Ann in Pennsylvania can expect a high of 28 degrees today, but it will feel like 18 degrees to her and her horses. My friend Susanne in Canada showed a picture of walking her dog this week when the temperature was -16 degrees. That’s 16 degrees below zero if I understand higher math. These northern friends measure their snowfall in feet – not the puny 2 inches of white flakes we had last night.
I’m mostly embarrassed to put my “snow” pictures in cyberspace.
no need to water front yard today
Pride Flag undisturbed
Pretty’s favorite of my snow pictures today
Carport Kitty and Pretty have similar feelings about winter. Thankfully her heated pad keeps her toasty warm in the laundry room – Carport Kitty, not Pretty. Heh, heh.
Carport Kitty reigns
The sun also rises, the snowflakes melt, and Pretty will leave me to work in her antique empire while I watch the disgraceful television coverage of the 2022 Australian Open this afternoon. Bollocks.
Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated for your own sake, get boosted as soon as possible and please stay tuned.
I'll Call It Like I See It 
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