We think of our lives in different ways from ourselves and others like we think of our families in different places but never being too far away from what we may think of as home.
Everyone, on the other hand, acknowledges agreement on the cycle of life we believe in, and that circle we envision shows babies being born to parents who care for and protect their young until they are able to care for themselves, ready to leave to experience life on their own. In this life cycle we envision in our minds, parents will precede their children in death.
Sometimes that picture of a life cycle is cruelly interrupted by a parent’s loss of a child while they, the parents, survive. These parents walk through the valley of the shadow of death as the psalmist wrote in the 23rd Psalm in the Bible and yet I find the Psalm is incomplete for I have witnessed tragic losses that broke the life cycle we expected. Some of those parents who remained were very afraid for their children and themselves. They feared the Evil of Death while they lost their faith in the future.
Many years ago I wrote a poem about women who lose their children – some without warning, some after a short illness, some after an illness that lasted too long – but all out of our expected cycles of life.
Rainy Day Women
Their faces wear grief like blocks of stone.
Their eyes see, and their ears hear,
But they are in a separate place.
The roads they walk are backwards,
And their direction is aimless.
They are the mothers who have lost children.
They weep with no tears.
They mourn without ashes,
Their names are Sorrow and Emptiness.
How can we reach their separate place?
How can we touch the blind and deaf in their grief?
Our words are all we can offer.
Not for a minute, not for an hour, but for as long as they live.
***********
This post is dedicated to Francie Kleckley in memory of her daughter Kathryn.
I'll Call It Like I See It 
Nicely written. I can’t imagine losing one of my children. Too much to think about.
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Thank you, Tony. May you never have to think about it in your family.
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Beautifully said. God love Francie as she goes through this.
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Thank you, Linda. She needs God’s love and ours. It was a very difficult post to publish.
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Sent this Diane as she too lost her 27 year old son almost 10 years ago, but the pain never goes away. We all miss him, but remember him with love so often when we see a young man who reminds us of him or a bird in the sky that represents his free flying ways. His favorite color was green so we always think of him when we see shamrocks and numerous other things. We will always love our Caleb. So sorry for your loss!We love you,Nita Sent from Mail for Windows From: I’ll Call It Like I See ItSent: Tuesday, February 15, 2022 12:25 PMTo: 41njean@gmail.comSubject: [New post] yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will be afraid Sheila Morris posted: " We think of our lives in different ways from ourselves and others like we think of our families in different places but never being too far away from what we may think of as home. Everyone, on the other hand, acknowledges agreement on the cycle of li"
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Yes, Nita – I remember the loss of Caleb, and I should have added the impact of the loss on not just the mothers. What a tragedy for Diane and all of you who were so close to him. My love to you all.
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What terrible grief. May those of us who are able provide safe space for grief to express itself.
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Yes, Ann. Well said.
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My husband lost his brother to brain cancer when my husband was 12, and his brother 3. I worked for many years in pediatric oncology. There is nothing in the world as painful as a seriously sick/dying child.
Is Ella completely recovered? One of my twin grandsons just got diagnosed with covid. I was caring for him yesterday. So life goes…..Never under our control. We are all staying very positive.
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Cindy, I hope your little grandson has a very light case – and yes Ella tested negative again after a few days with minimal symptoms. I wish the same for your grandson…and I hope your vaccines protect you as ours did us during the siege that swept thru our family. Bless your hearts. I’m so sorry, but staying positive helps! Please keep us posted. Love and hugs
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Such a difficult loss for your husband at such a young age. I don’t know how you worked in pediatric oncology for any time. I think that would be impossible, but I admire you for it.
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