An irregular visitor to our backyard, startling me with its beauty and attempts to communicate something that remains a mystery since my first sighting of this butterfly in August, 2018, followed three years later in September, 2021, and then again in November of 2023.
Even with my rudimentary knowledge of butterflies, which is less than rudimentary, I understand this is not the same butterfly because the life cycles of adult butterflies are measured in days or weeks, rarely months, and never years.
But sometimes my mind takes flight in a fantasy which allows me to feel this particular butterfly that flew around me yesterday was an old friend who pops in for a visit periodically to remind me that the spirits of my family buried in the Texas soil of Fairview Cemetery in Grimes County have never been totally gone from the person I became because of them. Somehow this butterfly comforts me, gives me hope.
And that’s a good thing, as my Aunt Lucille was fond of saying.
See you next time, my butterfly friend. Safe journeys.
Oh, it’s a long, long while from May to December, but the days grow shortwhen you reach September. When the autumn weather turns the leaves to flame, one hasn′t got timefor the waiting game.
Oh, the days dwindle down to a precious few: September, November. And these few precious days, I’ll spend with you. These precious daysI’ll spend with you.
Writers Kurt Weill and Maxwell Anderson wrote these haunting words in 1938, eight years before I was born. The days do grow short in September, more precious with each passing year. I choose to spend them with you…
Remember the three little kittens that lost more than their mittens but were rescued by Pretty who cannot refuse any creature in distress? They made their first appearance here in June.
Motherless, tiny, hungry, sleepy –
the kitten invasion began innocently
My allergies to cats are well documented, but these kittens were going to be temporary, Pretty assured me with one of her smiles that has always motivated me to say yes to whatever she wanted. She promised to take care of them herself without subjecting me to allergy-producing contact, and she was true to her word about their care.
She bottle-fed them for weeks, carried them with her to work in one of her storage boxes every day from where they lived in our kitchen until…
They outgrew the box. Kittens seemed to me to have multiplied because suddenly kittens were everywhere. Dashing thither and yon with reckless abandon. They were fearless. Clowns, too. They entertained me endlessly with their antics.
Neither Pretty nor I was prepared for the resistance my immune system had for the kittens, however. I took Zyrtec every morning and gradually added afternoon and evening doses of the high powered Benadryl with extra antihistamines to provide relief for the sneezing, wheezing, redder than usual itching eyes, headaches that have become unwelcome visitors this summer of 2025.
Luckily, two of the kittens were adopted to homes that passed Pretty’s ownership criteria in July. Then there was a sole survivor in our house. I named him Bennie, short for Benadryl which if I could invest in stocks, I would choose Johnson and Johnson, its manufacturer. Oh, yes, and don’t forget Kleenex which I consumed in quantities that produced shortages in my Instacart grocery stores. Out of stock. Seriously?
Our dog Charley became obsessed with Bennie in a good way – he motivated her to move around again – to leave the comfort of her best friend’s Spike’s favorite places in the living room which have been empty since his passing in March. Bennie’s playfulness has been contagious to our elderly dog who chases him from hiding place to hiding place.
Pretty fell in love with Bennie, too – who’s surprised – but the person who begged to keep him because she loved the spunky little kitten without reservations was our five year old granddaughter Ella, but sadly she suffers from allergies like mine which prevented her parents from adopting him.
The hot summer days rolled on, and Bennie remained with us.
how can I write a blog post when you are standing on my laptop?
I was beginning to think Bennie’s forever home was with Pretty and me when our upstate family rode in on a white horse to save the day. Darlene and Dawn, part of our family from Spartanburg County, convinced one of their neighbors she needed to add Bennie to her cat family. Pretty vetted their recommendation and approved Bennie’s transfer to the higher ground at the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Bennie in a favorite laundry basket today
Bennie feels safe with us
“Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you.” Mary Bly (Fun Facts About Cats)
Despite my whining about allergies, I will be heartbroken to say goodbye to Bennie who has grown on me as fast as he has developed that special personality he owns with joy and spunk. Fingers crossed his new forever home will welcome him with open arms and hearts. His temporary home will not be the same without him. Pretty, Ella, Charley and I look forward to seeing pictures of our little guy who gave us a memorable summer in 2025 ..we love you, Bennie.
Teresa and I were totally caught off guard when Harriet Hancock called to tell us we had been nominated and chosen for The Legacy Award from the Harriet Hancock Center in 2025. Surprised, delighted, blown away by the recognition of the contributions two lesbians from the small towns of Richards, Texas, and New Prospect, South Carolina, who grew up in a time before Stonewall, could be celebrated today by one of the defining organizations of the LGBTQ+ movement in Columbia.
No person has meant more to our community than Harriet Hancock, a friend Teresa and I have admired for more than three decades. The Center which bears her name continues to serve as a safety net for young and old alike in the march toward equal justice for all South Carolinians.
The Legacy Award is an affirmation of our efforts to live authentic lives together in a time and place before Will and Grace.
I met Teresa when I wandered into Bluestocking Books in the early 1990s. We were both in other relationships at the time, but we shared values that gave us common goals for our community and ultimately provided the foundation for a personal bond that led to sharing our lives to create a family we both cherish.
We have no words to express our gratitude to the Harriet Hancock Center and our nominators for The Legacy Award in 2025. You are the future we worked for, and we promise to continue the struggle against the enemies of silence and apathy that have always tried to divide us.
Please join us as we celebrate six other award recipients for 2025: PJ Whitehurst, Community Advocate of the Year; Elliott Naddell, Youth Advocate of the Year; Senator Tameika Isaac Devine, Political Advocate of the Year; Rainy Day Fund, Community Partner of the Year; CAN Community Health, Health and Wellness Organization of the Year; The Nickelodeon, Arts and Culture Organization of the Year.
Parts of the general Blessingway, especially the songs, are included in most Navajo ceremonies. Unlike the other healing ceremonies, the Blessingways are not intended to cure illness but are used to invoke positive blessings and to avert misfortune. The Blessingway is comparatively short, lasting only two nights, and is often part of longer rites…As a part of Navajo religious practices, the Blessingway is considered to be a highly spiritual, sacred, and private event. (Britannica)
The Navajo Blessingway was included this week in the obituary of a fifty-nine-year-old man I met briefly when Pretty worked in residential real estate many years ago. Erik and his wife, Sara, were Pretty’s clients when they came to Columbia to look for a home. Erik’s obituary was a powerful message that introduced me to the Blessingway.
This particular Navajo Blessingway spoke to me because I feel its truth in the summertime every day that I walk in our neighborhood. Summertime in the South should be called Crape Myrtle Season because the gorgeous blossoms of all colors are at their peak in the heat and humidity that define July with spillovers into August. I have always loved the crape myrtles since I grew up with them in my childhood – the Texas heat was perfect for the hot pink crape myrtles that grew along the small sidewalk at my grandmother’s home in Grimes County.
the lavender blossoms I saw this morning on my walk
In beauty I am privileged to walk, thankful for each day filled with a Blessingway. I walk with beauty before me, and I walk with beauty behind me. I walk with beauty below me, and I walk with beauty above me. I walk with beauty around me in the people who are my family, friends, cyberspace followers, all those who inspire values I cherish. I hope my words will be beautiful to everyone who reads them.
When my words fail, I encourage you to look around…in beauty you walk, too.
I'll Call It Like I See It 
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