Category: Life

  • Memories of My Daddy and His Bird Dogs

    Memories of My Daddy and His Bird Dogs


    I first published this piece about my daddy and his dogs in August, 2015. Father’s Day will be here before you can say jack rabbit – be thankful for the dads, their dads, and all the dads before them. I would love to be sitting down for a Father’s Day meal at my grandmother’s house this coming Sunday. We’d have a lot of catching up to do since my father died June 30, 1976, at the age of fifty-one. I was thirty years old and lost not only my daddy but also my best friend.

    From the time I was five or six years old growing up in rural southeast Texas in the 1950s, my daddy used to take me with him to hunt quail during what I remember as a relatively short season in the late fall and winter months. Quail lived in coveys in fields in the countryside around us and were excellent at hiding from their enemies in the tall grasses that would become hay when baled. You could walk and walk and walk some more until you felt like your legs were going to fall off if you had to put one foot ahead of the other again, but the quail were always one step ahead of you unless you had help locating them.

    Enter the hunter’s best friend: the German short-haired pointer a/k/a in Grimes County, Texas, as the bird dog. A good bird dog could run through a field sniffing and sniffing, sometimes whining, until he caught a whiff of a covey of quail and then he would stop, raise his right front leg to a ninety-degree angle,  curl his medium-length tail over his back and point his nose exactly in the direction of the covey. He remained in this precise position until the hunter walked up beside the dog which would cause the quail to take flight with the sound of their fluttering wings making a whoosh noise as they left the ground.

    Whoosh! Bam! It was over that quick. The covey rose from the ground cover, and my daddy would shoot his twelve-gauge shotgun. Occasionally a bird would fall, and I would run to retrieve it and put it in my jacket to take home to my grandmother who would be happy to fix it for our supper. We rarely got our  legal limit, but we would usually have enough for a meal.

    The problem my daddy had was he never had a “good” bird dog.  He got the puppies from different people  in the area who always assured him their dogs were the best in the field, but invariably the pointer he got didn’t respond well to training. A common trait Daddy’s dogs had was rather than stopping to point and hold their position, they would  stop to point for a split second and then run as fast as they could to try to catch the birds by themselves. Of course, the quail would take flight when they heard the dogs and be long gone out of  shooting range by the time we caught up with the dogs. Daddy would halfheartedly fuss – and the dogs rarely improved.

    As I think back on this now, I believe our dogs had an identity issue which caused their lackluster performance in the field. Whether they did well or not in the hunting arena, they were fed regularly with  delicious scraps from our table (dog food wasn’t on Daddy’s radar screen) and petted and hugged on an equally regular basis. They came indoors for their pets and Daddy often scooped the big dogs up and held them on his lap while he talked to them about their shortcomings. My daddy was a very diminutive man – about five feet six inches tall – and those dogs weighed almost as much as he did. They looked at him with adoring eyes and absolute trust…and seemed to be saying I promise I’ll do better next time…but they wouldn’t.

    My daddy loved his bird dogs. We always had at least one dog in our family for as long as I can remember and at one time when I was in high school, we had three.  I know that for sure because I still have the original oil paintings he commissioned  at that time from an artist friend of his.

    001

    Daddy’s Bird Dogs: Rex, Seth and Dab (circa 1966)

    No wonder I love my dogs. I’ve never personally owned a bird dog, but I’ve been on the receiving end of the adoring eyes and plaintive expressions of more than a few dogs of my own throughout my adult life. I confess to holding them on my lap if I can scoop them up, but even if I can’t do that, I will give them lots of love and kisses whenever and wherever they will stand  or sit or lie down to be so smothered.

    Loving dogs – or any animal for that matter – is the gift that keeps on giving to us mere humans, but the gift comes with a high price tag because their lives are relatively short. Indeed,  it seems the older we are, the faster we lose them.

    Two of our three remaining dogs that have given us much more loyalty and adoration than we deserve over the past decade have now been diagnosed with cancers that will ultimately take them from us. What I have learned from them is that they both keep their pain to themselves without complaints. They are not troubled by wondering why they are in their particular situations, and I think this allows them to try to keep changes in their routines to a minimum. They like to roll the way they’ve always rolled if they possibly can.

    I am a contemplative person – I can’t help myself. I find I can spend a great deal of time trying to figure out “why” this happened or that took place. Unfortunately, discovering “why” doesn’t necessarily lead to productive change. As a matter of fact, the opposite is likely to occur. So when I find myself in a position similar to the ones my dogs are facing today, I hope I have learned my lessons from the examples they have set for me and focus less on “why” and more on “so what.”

    That’s the way I’d like to roll.

    P.S. My daddy never asked anyone to make an oil painting of me.

  • Impasse

    Impasse


    “We have met the enemy, and they are ours.” United States Navy Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry, War of 1812, September 10, 1813, following his strategic victory in the battle on Lake Erie over the British Navy. Hooray.

    Walt Kelly’s political satire captured the imagination of the public on Earth Day in this country with his 1970 Pogo cartoon that coined a re-phrase of Commodore Perry’s words in 1813. Hooray?

    Helen Lewis argued in her article The Men Who Don’t Want Women to Vote or Work. Or Have Opinions. that a movement of “masculinism” in America seeks “to fight back against the advances of feminism and reassert the primacy of men.” (June, 2026, The Atlantic) What? Seriously?

    We have met the enemy, and it’s women. No Hooray, please.

    ************************

    I published the following piece on June 10, 2017, nine years ago. I had a personal painful reminder of old tapes played too often in my life. Helen Lewis’s words opened old wounds.

    Impasse

    Webster’s Everyday Thesaurus has these words for impasse:

    deadlock, stalemate, blind alley, bottleneck…dead end, dilemma, predicament, quandary, standstill, standoff.

    This past week I had a heavy dose of impasse which intermingled with my increasing preoccupation about the American Civil War. I look more and more frequently at the map of the red states and blue states that make up our United States and wonder anew at Abraham Lincoln’s commitment to keep the country united as one. I understand the problem better for sure. I always wondered how brother fought brother on different sides during the Civil War. They were family first after all, right? Not so fast, my friend.

    The American people are a “duke’s mixture” to quote my granddaddy who used the words for his Saturday barbershop customers in the 1950s when my grandmother asked him who’d stopped by the barber shop that day.

    George, who all came by for a haircut today?

    Well, Betha, it was a duke’s mixture.

    To which she would shake her head and look at me and ask, What does that tell you? Duke’s mixture.

    My granddaddy would laugh as if he’d told a funny joke, and I would laugh with him. My grandmother never cracked a smile.

    Today I find myself not laughing, either. Rarely cracking a smile at the impasse among the citizens in our country which must surely have my grandparents spinning in their graves. My grandmother invented social media via the telephone party line we had in our little town as surely as Al Gore invented the internet. She relished listening in on other people’s conversations and delighted to repeat juicy gossip at her kitchen table… but please dear God, don’t ever mess with her family.

    This week I did something I almost never do. I responded on Facebook to a post made by a first cousin twice removed who has a world view that I have long ago accepted as different from mine. Most of the time I hide his offensive posts from my timeline and move on.

    I can’t bring myself to “un-friend” him because I truly love the little boy I remember visiting us in Richards so often with his grandmother who was my grandmother’s sister. But this week he posted that liberals must have a “mental illness” to think the way we do, and that struck a nerve for me.

    You see, I grew up during a time in the 1950s and 60s when being a homosexual was considered to be a mental illness. Think about how you would feel if you grew up believing that you had a secret mental illness and, if exposed, you could be institutionalized. Lock her up. Throw away the key. I heard an old tape begin to  play in my mind.

    Somehow our thread on Facebook took an unpleasant turn, as I already knew it would and we got into a discussion regarding a prevailing Muslim  belief in some places that gays should be killed. Unfortunately, one of my cousin’s friends chimed in with the following comment: “We knew someone many years ago that would probably want to buy a plane today, load them (gays and lesbians) up and drop them off over there (wherever Muslims live). I sure miss him.”

    Wow. I was transported to a conversation I had in the early 1990s with a client who sat in my office and said, “If it were up to me, I’d take all those queers and put them behind barbed wire in Kansas and tell them to stay there.” I didn’t respond then. The old tape was playing louder now.

    One of my mother’s most infamous quotes for me was that she wished all those gays would go back in the closet where they belonged. She would be happy to slam the door shut. The old tape was so loud now I could barely hear myself think.

    Luckily, I didn’t accept the old tapes as I don’t accept my cousin or his friend’s thinking about who I am today. I’ve spent my entire adult life working for equal treatment and fairness – my liberal social justice beliefs.

    In 1974 the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder. I was 28 years old. In 2017 at the age of 71, I am personally declassifying liberalism as a mental illness.

    I resolve to limit my social media interaction with my first cousin twice removed to Happy Birthday wishes. No need going up that blind alley again.

    I feel better already.

    *************************

    June is Pride Month – celebrate with joy!

  • What’s new, Pussycat?

    What’s new, Pussycat?


    Tuxedo cat was Carport Kitty’s best friend

    Yellow Cat is an indoor cat somewhere else –

    but wants his snacks here

    Yellow Cat loves the outdoor laundry room

    pick a chair – any chair – and get comfortable

    they were friends from the Carport Kitty glory days

    remember this cat who loved to help me do laundry?

    vanished without a trace on the 4th. of July, 2024

    Then along came the three kittens rescued by Pretty in 2025, and this little kitten we named Bennie for the amount of Benadryl I had to take for my cat allergies while Pretty found him a wonderful forever home with Cheryl in the Upstate. (I believe I overheard a casual remark at one point about sending me to live outdoors on the carport – and keeping Bennie inside. Thank goodness for Cheryl.)

    Our friends Nekki and Francie have a beautiful, sweet cat named Amelia. Amelia has a reputation for being quite particular about people she tolerates – of course, she adores Pretty when we come to visit.

    Who’s surprised?

    The End

    If you find your curiosity about the cat we called Carport Kitty becomes overpowering, the archives will give you information about the urban legend we called our Carport Kitty.

    http://www.iwillcallit.com/2022/10/23/the-urban-legend-we-called-carport-kitty-was-a-seeker/

  • Memorable Moments with Millie: A Friendship Story

    Memorable Moments with Millie: A Friendship Story


    me and Millie with her dog, Bear, in the 1970s

    *************************

    My piece today contains excerpts from a chapter in my second book, Not Quite the Same. which was published in 2009. I cut a large descriptive section of a golf outing in this chapter about our playing golf in the snow one Friday afternoon at a local club. Censorship of language was mandatory due to a large bottle of Crown Royal Millie and I shared that afternoon playing golf in the snow.

    Millie Miller is 80 this month, and I still believe I’m lucky to have had her as a friend for the past 50 years. We rarely see each other, but we have phone conversations to discuss our ailments, friends we’ve lost, and the money we would have if we hadn’t spent it all on those women we met in the bar.

    Millie Miller, still calling it like she sees it. Rock on, Millie.

  • From Windows to Wildlife: Artistic Birthday Gifts at 80

    From Windows to Wildlife: Artistic Birthday Gifts at 80


    Just when you think you’ve had all the fun you can have with a new decade of life, two creative friends who weren’t able to come to my surprise 80th. Birthday Party on March 20th. (celebrating my actual birthday on April 21, 1946), contacted me about bringing gifts by the house in the past week.

    My friend Saskia found this window on her street, placed there by a neighbor who put several on their street after replacing his old windows with new ones. She rescued two of the windows and decorated one for my birthday. These are her photos of “before” and “after” work on her Elmwood Park originals. She brought the finished project over today, and I swooned.

    Before…

    …After

    The card that accompanied this awesome gift read, in part: Dear Sheila Rae, To celebrate and remember a pretty epic birthday month, I made you something a bit funky (for a funky lady). It’s a bit fragile and it may not last very long, but hopefully it will bring some smiles for the time that it does. (this window is about the same age as you 🙂 Too true.

    I am still smiling over my new art created by my friend who thinks I’m a funky lady. That’s a huge compliment from this younger woman who immigrated to the USA from the Netherlands more than twenty years ago. Funky – I like it.

    I also loved another gift made by the artist Donna Magrath who brought it by the house last week . Donna has birds and squirrels that frequent her apartment balcony where she feeds and pampers them. She’s recently begun taking their pictures and making postcards from the images.

    the concern by the bird on the far right seemed sensible

    (I love to see the well-fed birds enjoying a chat)

    This gift was made by Donna for not only my birthday but also for Pretty’s birthday which is May 21st. so this was a clever way to bridge two dates with three birds. Donna’s work is always clever.

    From the Birthday Bash on March 20th. to a Feliz Cinco de Mayo and all the festivities in between, turning to face a new decade has been a special time because of the love shared by family and friends at home in South Carolina, across the USA from California to Pennsylvania and New York via Texas, and across the pond to dear friends in Europe.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone. I’m happy, grateful, astonished by the generosity of your spirit and kindness to a funky old lady who grew up in a tiny town in Grimes County, Texas, in a different century.