Category: sexism

  • dear Santa, send boxing gloves

    dear Santa, send boxing gloves


    Before you ask yourself whether you’ve read this story before, I can say possibly – it’s a seasonal favorite of mine. This year my good friend Ed Madden’s annual holiday letter included a fabulous vintage Christmas card of a boxing Santa because it reminded him of my story. Perfect – thanks so much, Ed. 

    *********************

    “Dear Santa Claus, how are you? I am fine.

    I have been pretty good this year. Please bring me a pair

    of boxing gloves for Christmas.  I need them.

    Your friend, Sheila Rae Morris”

    “That’s a good letter,” my maternal grandmother I called Dude said. She folded it and placed it neatly in the envelope. “I’ll take it to the post office tomorrow and give it to Miss Sally Hamilton to mail for you. Now, why do you need these boxing gloves?”

    “Thank you so much, Dude. I hope he gets it in time. All the boys I play with have boxing gloves. They say I can’t box with them because I’m a girl and don’t have my own gloves. I have to get them from Santa Claus.”

    “I see,” she said. “I believe I can understand the problem. I’ll take care of your letter for you.”

    Santa Boxing Gloves

     

    Several days later it was Christmas Eve. That was the night we opened our gifts with both families. This year our little group of Dude, Mama, Daddy, Uncle Marion, Uncle Toby and I walked to my paternal grandparents’  house across the dirt road and down the hill from ours. With us, we took the Christmas box of See’s Chocolate and Nuts Candies that Dude’s sister Aunt Orrie who lived in California sent every year, plus all the gifts for everyone. The only child in me didn’t like to share the candy, but it wouldn’t be opened until we could offer everyone a piece. Luckily, most everyone else preferred Ma’s divinity or her date loaf.

    The beverage for the party was a homemade green punch. My Uncle Marion had carried Ginger Ale and lime sherbet with him. He mixed that at Ma’s in her fine glass punch bowl with the 12 cups that matched. You knew it was a special night if Ma got out her punch bowl. The drink was frothy and delicious. The perfect liquid refreshment with the desserts. I was in heaven, and very grownup.

    When it was time to open the gifts, we gathered in the living room around the Christmas tree, which was ablaze with multi-colored blinking bubble lights. Ma was in total control of the opening of the gifts and instructed me to bring her each gift one at a time so she could read the names and anything else written on the tag. She insisted that we keep a slow pace so that all would have time to enjoy their surprises.

    Really, there were few of those. Each year the men got a tie or shirt or socks or some combination. So the big surprise would be the color for that year. The women got a scarf or blouse or new gloves for church. Pa would bring out the Evening in Paris perfume for Ma he had raced across the street to Mr. McAfee’s Drug Store to buy when he closed the barber shop, just before the drug store closed.

    The real anticipation was always the wrapping and bows for the gifts. They saved the bows year after year and made a game of passing them back and forth to each other like old friends. There would be peals of laughter and delight as a bow that had been missing for two Christmases would make a mysterious re-appearance. Ma and Dude entertained themselves royally with the outside of the presents. The contents were practical and useful for the adults every year.

    My gifts, on the other hand, were more fun. Toys and clothes combined the practical with the impractical. Ma would make me a dress to wear to school and buy me a doll of some kind. Daddy and Pa would give me six-shooters or a bow and arrows or cowboy boots and hats. Dude always gave me underwear.

    This year Uncle Marion had brought me a jewelry box from Colorado. He had gone out there to work on a construction job and look for gold. I loved the jewelry box. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any jewelry; equally unfortunate, he hadn’t found any gold.

    “Well, somebody needs to go home and get to bed so that Santa Claus can come tonight,” Daddy said at last. “I wonder what that good little girl thinks she’s going to get.” He smiled.

    “Boxing gloves,” I said immediately. “I wrote Santa a letter to bring me boxing gloves. Let’s go home right now so I can get to bed.”

    Everybody got really quiet.

    Daddy looked at Mama. Ma looked at Pa. Uncle Marion and Uncle Toby looked at the floor. Dude looked at me.

    “Okay, then, sugar. Give Ma and Pa a kiss and a big hug for all your presents. Let’s go, everybody, and we’ll call it a night so we can see what Santa brings in the morning,” Daddy said.

    *********************

    “Is it time to get up yet?” I whispered to Dude. What was wrong with her? She was always the first one up every morning. Why would she choose Christmas Day to sleep late?

    “I think it’s time,” she whispered back. “I believe I heard Saint Nick himself in the living room a little while ago. Go wake up your mama and daddy so they can turn on the Christmas tree lights for you to see what he left. Shhh. Don’t wake up your uncles.”

    I climbed over her and slipped quietly past my sleeping Uncle Marion and crept through the dining room to Mama and Daddy’s bedroom. I was trying to not make any noise. I could hear my Uncle Toby snoring in the middle bedroom.

    “Daddy, Mama, wake up,” I said softly to the door of their room. “Did Santa Claus come yet?” Daddy opened the door, and he and Mama came out. They were smiling happily and took me to the living room where Mama turned on the tree lights. I was thrilled with the sight of the twinkling lights as they lit the dark room. Mama’s tree was so much bigger than Ma’s and was perfectly decorated with ornaments of every shape and size and color. The icicles shimmered in the glow of the lights. There were millions of them. Each one had been meticulously placed individually by Mama. Daddy and I had offered to help but had been rejected when we were seen throwing the icicles on the tree in clumps rather than draping them carefully on each branch.

    I held my breath. I was afraid to look down. When I did, the first thing I saw was the Roy Rogers gun and holster set. Two six-shooters with gleaming barrels and ivory-colored handles. Twelve silver bullets on the belt.

    “Wow,” I exclaimed as I took each gun out of the holster and examined them closely. “These look just like the ones Roy uses, don’t they, Daddy?”

    “You bet,” he said. “I’m sure they’re the real thing. No bad guys will get past you when you have those on. Main Street will be safe again.” He and Mama laughed together at that thought.

    The next thing my eyes rested on was the Mr. And Mrs. Potato Head game. I wasn’t sure what that was when I picked it up, but I could figure it out later. Some kind of game to play when the cousins came later for Christmas lunch.

    I moved around the tree and found another surprise. There was a tiny crib with three identical baby dolls in it. They were carefully wrapped in two pink blankets and one blue one. I stared at them.

    “Triplets,” Mama said with excitement. “Imagine having not one, not two, but three baby dolls at once. Two girls and a boy. Isn’t that fun? Look, they have a bottle you can feed them with. See, their little mouths can open. You can practice feeding them. Aren’t they wonderful?”

    I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. They’re great. I’ll play with them later this afternoon.” I looked around the floor and crawled to look behind the tree.

    “Does Santa ever leave anything anywhere else but here?” I asked. Daddy and Mama looked at each other and then back at me.

    “No, sweetheart,” Daddy said. “This is all he brought this year. Don’t you like all of your presents?”

    “Oh, yes, I love them all,” I said with the air of a diplomat. “But, you know, I had asked him for boxing gloves. I was really counting on getting them. All the boys have them, and I wanted them so bad.”

    “Well,” Mama said. “Santa Claus had the good common sense not to bring a little girl boxing gloves. He knew that only little boys should be fighting each other with big old hard gloves. He also realized that lines have to be drawn somewhere. He would go along with toy guns, even though that was questionable. But he had to refuse to allow boxing gloves this Christmas or any Christmas.”

    I looked at Daddy. My heart sank.

    “Well, baby,” he said with a rueful look. “I’m afraid I heard him say those very words.”

    *******************

    (This is an excerpt from my first book Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing  published in 2007 when I was 61 years old. The following Christmas one of my best friends Billy Frye gave me a pair of boxing gloves – better late than never, Santa.)

    *********************

    Slava Ukraini. For the children.  

     

     

     

  • Grade for Republicans in Midterms: D

    Grade for Republicans in Midterms: D


    Dobbs + Deniers + Donald = Defeat

    Pretty, who follows political predictors via Twitter, kept telling me all weekend that the Dems were going to maintain control of the Senate but I couldn’t breathe a sigh of relief until I saw Steve Kornacki at the Big Board last night finally with the 50 – 49 blue trickle for the 2022 midterms. Thousands of votes remain to be counted in the next few days, but Steve’s projected House final numbers lean 219 – 216 in favor of the Repulicans with a +/- 4. Hardly a Red Tsunami or even Red Wave; more like a Blue Trickle.

    For the Dems, the results were nothing short of historic. With a Democratic President whose approval rating was a shaky 44%, inflation hitting every voter where it hurts, and a formerly popular former President who handpicked many of the Maga candidates that peppered the ballots in battleground states – I found little to hope for any victories. I had seen the numbers of previous midterm elections and wouldn’t be watching these returns for love or money.

    The average seat loss in the House has been 28 since World War II. It has been 43 seats when the president’s Gallup Poll approval rating was below 50%. And as for Democrats, in particular, the last four lost an average of 45 House seats in the first midterm after they were elected. Ron Elving, NPR

    O, ye of little faith, Sheila.

    The following represents my unscientific personal opinion of what changed expected outcomes in the midterm election on November 08, 2022.

    (1) Roe, Roe, Roe the Vote – taking away the right of women to control their own bodies’ health care, a right held for nearly 50 years, was a colossal misstep by the Supreme Court in the summer of 2022 – voters who might have stayed at home in an average midterm…didn’t.

    (2) Democracy was on the ballot as President Biden reminded the country in his pre-election closing speech. He made a bet that the American people weren’t really interested in giving up on our fundamental, albeit still flawed, belief in equality and justice for all. Even his detractors evidently said Point Taken – and voted accordingly.

    (3) The January 06th. Committee hearings. How many times did the committee show actual footage of the Insurrection of 01/06/21? How many Republicans testified they believed the former President was responsible for the Original Sin of Election Denial? And on and on. Even if viewers weren’t politically obsessed like me, enough citizens must have watched portions of the 01/06 committee hearings to figure out that EDs must have lost either their eyesight and/or their minds to be persuaded the folks storming the Capitol were there for a simple visit. Hang Mike Pence, indeed.

    (4) Young people voted. Hey, they liked the Democrats’ support of climate change initiatives, sensible gun control legislation, student loan forgiveness – and they Roe, Roe, Roed the vote.

    (5) The Culinary Union in Nevada and all the other boots on the ground in every state for this election. Hats off to those organizers that truly sacrificed by leaving their jobs to knock on doors to get out the vote, to those who financially supported those boots on the ground, to the postcard brigades that sent millions of cards from their kitchen tables to pave the road for the boots on the ground.

    By the way, Pretty’s Twitter Predictor says the Dems will win the House by a margin of 219 – 216. I can’t go there yet. I finally exhaled last night and don’t have the lung capacity to inhale again today.

    *************************

    Stay safe, stay sane and please stay tuned.

  • gimme a break – no, seriously – time out?

    gimme a break – no, seriously – time out?


    The mid term elections are in the past now, but my nerves continue to jingle jangle like the spurs on my boots used to do as I anxiously await outcomes. I find myself turning to movies of questionable taste on Netflix to keep me from watching election news, but then cheating on myself by looking at my phone for hints about leaning this way or slightly that way. Maddening. I need a mental break before I have a breakdown. Good news: we’re taking a break.

    Thank goodness I have a wonderful friend in California (which way is California leaning? Stop it!) who has a birthday this month – a woman I’d like to celebrate not only for the personal fun experiences we’ve shared over many years but also for the amazing contributions she’s made to the LGBTQ community on the west coast, her chosen home away from her native roots in South Carolina.

    Happy Birthday, Audrey Prosser! You are a woman of substance, a woman I admire for all the right reasons. Your commitment to social justice for your community, your state, your country is inspirational to your friends in South Carolina who have had the privilege of sipping cocktails with you in foreign and domestic countries while we discussed, among other topics, the issues facing us as lesbians who cared about each other and creating positive change regardless of where we lived.

    Pretty and I regret we won’t be able to attend the 80th. birthday bash with you and your wonderful wife Debra, but know that we will be with you both in spirit and in sisterhood. Rock on, Miss Thing. Whatever music is played at your party – you keep on dancing.

    Audrey Prosser

  • the ONE thing you’ve got going: your ONE vote – Shirley Chisholm (1924 – 2005)

    the ONE thing you’ve got going: your ONE vote – Shirley Chisholm (1924 – 2005)


    In 1968 Shirley Chisholm was the first Black woman elected to the United States Congress; she served in the House of Representatives from 1969 – 1983. In 1972 she became the first woman to run for the Democratic Party’s nomination for President of the United States, the first Black candidate for a major party nomination.

    Shirley Chisholm had spunk. Unlike Lou Grant (who told Mary Richards in one classic scene from the Mary Tyler Moore Show: Mary, you’ve got spunk – I hate spunk) I admire spunk so Rep. Chisholm is on my list of most admired people. I hear her voice with its crystal clarion calling out of truth to power echoing through the halls of the US Capitol today as surely as her footsteps walked those halls more than a half century ago:

    “It is incomprehensible to me, the fear that can affect men in political offices. It is shocking the way they submit to forces they know are wrong and fail to stand up for what they believe. Can their jobs be so important to them, their prestige, their power, their privileges so important that they will cooperate in the degradation of our society just to hang on to those jobs?”

    Yep. Sure sounds like it, Shirley.

    **********************

    Every vote matters – don’t sit this one out. Vote Tuesday, November 08th!

  • what is really on the line November 8th?

    what is really on the line November 8th?


    A nation is not conquered until the hearts of its women are on the ground. Then it is done. No matter how brave its warriors or how strong its weapons.

    Cheyenne proverb

    We cannot be distracted by the noises that surround us. The Republican Party seeks to conquer our hearts by controlling our bodies.

    I Voted this week to say Not on My Watch. Plan your vote. We are not done.