Category: The Way Life Is

  • The First Census – North Carolina – 1790


    Life with Pretty is always an adventure with few dull moments. For example, we just spent at least five minutes downstairs hollering at each other about whether I had used her gift certificate she gave me for Christmas for a free massage with our friend Meghan or not, and she must be right… because she must be right, which is a family trait on her daddy’s side.  All of this heated discussion started when I found a Subway gift card I had given her for Christmas in the envelope with the massage certificates. It was downhill from there.

    teresa-and-charly-1

    Pretty on the steps of Casa de Canterbury

    One of the biggest bonuses of life with Pretty, however, is her fascination with books – any book, all books – which has resulted in the largest collection of books in Casa de Canterbury I’ve personally seen anywhere other than a public library or the Adams house in Quincy, Massachusetts where John and John Quincy kept their books in a separate building from their home.

    I find myself having access to unique books as a result of Pretty’s library, and last week she had a copy of the First Census – North Carolina lying on a stack of books in our living room. The Department of Commerce and Labor Bureau of the Census took the first census of the Heads of Families in the year 1790. Pretty’s copy of this North Carolina count was printed in 1908 by the Washington Printing Office. To put this in historical perspective, the Union consisted of 12 states when the First Census Act was passed on March 1, 1790 and signed by President George Washington, who was, as we recall, our first President.

    In that first census in North Carolina, there were five categories of people to be counted:

    (1) Free white males of 16 years and upward, including heads of families

    (2) Free white males under 16 years

    (3) Free white females, including heads of families

    (4) All other free persons

    (5) Slaves

    Now why would I have any interest in this very old census, you might ask? Good question. The answer is Ding, Ding, Ding! the daily double.

    I have relatives from both of my paternal grandparents who lived in North Carolina in 1790 when this census was taken, and I wondered if I might be able to locate any of them. I knew about my family’s early connections to the state through my Ancestry Family Tree which has now given me way too much information about my forefathers.

    For example, my fourth great-grandfather William Morris was born in King George County, Virginia in 1730 and died in 1802 in Anson County, North Carolina. I wondered if I could find him in the 1790 Census since he likely would have been living in North Carolina at that time. Totally made sense.

    And in fact, I did find not one, but two William Morrises living in the Fayette District of Anson County, North Carolina during the census-taking.

    The first William had 1 free white male of 16 years and upward, 1 free white male under 16 years, 2 free white females and 2 slaves. I really was thunderstruck by that. I’m not sure what I had thought about my 4th. great-grandfather, but I had never in my wildest dreams imagined he was a slave owner. Surely it was a mistake.

    The second William Morris had 2 free white males of 16 years and upward, 1 free white male under 16 years, 2 free white females…and 4 slaves. Oh my God, I thought, that’s even worse.

    The ancestors I assumed would hold some moral objection or righteous indignation at the concept of owning another human being were actually slave owners themselves. I felt ashamed and sick at heart. I didn’t like that DNA flowing through me. I wish I hadn’t found it out, but there it was printed in a book published by the government.

    Well, back then everybody in North Carolina owned slaves – it was part of the agrarian economy, right?

    Wrong. While many of the households had slaves, many did not. My people did.

    My friend Millie Miller warned me that if I went down the Ancestry trail I would find out things I might not want to know. She was right – that same being right trait runs in her family, too, by the way.

    Nothing can change the reality of my family’s participation in this dark blight on American history – I would give anything if I could change that.

    But February is Black History Month, and what I can do today is celebrate the victories that have occurred in the Civil Rights movement during my lifetime and recognize the vast chasms of inequality that are the remainders of generations of oppression yet to be overcome and do my part to be on the right side of history in this moment.

    As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Our freedom was not won a century ago, it is not won today; but some small part of it is in our hands, and we are marching no longer by ones and twos but in legions of thousands, convinced now it cannot be denied by human forces.”

  • GRAND SLAM GREATS!


    It’s a wrap. The first tennis Grand Slam of the 2017 season is officially in the books, and the hits just keep on rolling.

    022

    The Williams Sisters share a private chat…

    while waiting to collect the spoils

    that belong only to the victors

    017

    Serena wins her 23rd. major and the big cup,

    but Venus didn’t lose in this tournament

    I am awarding Venus and Serena Williams The Red Man’s Memorial Paw Snaps and Twirls – the highest honor possible for two American women who personify persistence and perseverance to be the very best in their sport and in so doing, prove repeatedly that they are both the images of true champions. Their love of family speaks volumes about their character, and their love of playing tennis is a gift we can all appreciate and be grateful for.

    You rock, girls – keep going. Records are made to be broken.

    And then came the men’s final with Rafa Nadal and Roger Federer. Another gut-wrenching five-set match for the ages. As Australian commentator Darren Cahill said, “It’s a privilege to be able to be here and watch this amazing final.” I felt the same way sitting in the bleacher seats at Casa de Canterbury – how lucky am I to see these two passionate competitors one more time in a major final. Hooray for great tennis!

    Roger won his 18th. Grand Slam which increases his lead over Nadal and Sampras who are tied at 14. Roger was once again the Swiss Magician as he worked his magical aces and unusually magical backhands.

    australian-open-2017-mens-final

    Relief and Reflect – savor the moment

    will this be the last?

    Thirty-five used to be ancient for a professional tennis player, but Roger Federer defies the norm and continues to prepare to play at the championship level even after a six-month sabbatical from the tour to recover from a knee injury. This year the tennis gods were aligned to give him a great ride in the Australian Open, and I enjoyed celebrating with him and his team early this a.m. when he won.

    I am also awarding Roger Federer The Red Man’s Memorial Paw Snaps and Twirls Award for performance above and beyond the realm of mere mortals as he vanquished the little yellow ball and his own fears in a clash of wills as much as skills.

    008

    Lordy, lordy.  Charly and I are exhausted from our live coverage of the Australian Open. We left the comfort of our king-sized bed every morning at 3:00 a.m. to go downstairs to indulge my passion for watching the matches as they were happening a world and many time zones away. Viva Australia – whatever day it is for you – I can never keep up, but I love you and my Australian followers mucho.

    charly-and-me-on-bed-3

     Onward to the French Open in the spring.

  • Wham Bam! Thank you, Ma’am! Fired Up – Ready to Go!


    Ok, so I know I promised to avoid politics this week, but hey, the week is almost over and it’s hard to ignore the Women’s March taking place in Washington, D.C. and across the USA with overflows in Europe and Australia thrown in for good measure.

    Half a million marchers in DC, another 100,000 in New York City, thousands more in Chicago, Denver, Atlanta, London, Sydney, the hits just keep on rolling…Sweet Lady Gaga, as The Red Man would have said if he could have seen the TV coverage today.

    Never let it be said that South Carolina is out of the loop when it comes to a good march for equal rights. We’ve been marching for more than 25 years in our state for LGBT equality, and Pretty and I have stood beside the rest of the supporters of our community as we tried to effect common sense values of fairness and equal opportunity for every citizen in the state.

    Today the South Carolina Progressive Network, a coalition of partner organizations promoting progressive ideas and actions in our state, organized a local Stand Up rally in solidarity with the Women’s March in DC.

    004

    Dave Snyder presides over pre-rally breakfast

    pancakes and protests a great combo – yummy

    001

    Dave’s wife, Saskia and 6-year-old son, Finn

    equality is a family affair: signs Saskia’s specialty

    003

    Sis-in-law Darlene drove down from the Upstate to rally with us – she made it in time for pancakes at the Snyder house. She and Pretty talk politics to warm themselves up for the march. Thanks so much to Dave and Saskia and Finn for their hospitality to make sure we got off to a good start.

    005

    Darlene and Pretty model Pussy Hats

    Thanks to sis-in-law who brought Pink Hats for all three of us – we were pictures of true solidarity. The venue was supposed to be on the State House steps, but inclement weather forced us to gather at the Music Farm, a local restaurant/bar/band spot.

    007

    Standing room only

    008

    No shortage of signs at the rally

    013

    No shortage of pink hats, either

    018

    Hundreds of marchers stayed at the State House and braved the drizzles that became steady rain because they preferred to be on the actual Capitol grounds while hundreds more came to listen to the speakers at the Music Farm rally.

    020

    How did anyone ever know anything 

    before cell phones?

    017

    One of the many passionate speakers was Tootsie Holland, a woman who has championed women’s rights since the 1970s during the Equal Rights Amendment ratification struggle in South Carolina. I was thrilled to hear her grandson introduce her – and even more thrilled with her humorous remarks that reminded me of the days when we gathered at her home for strategy sessions of the National Organization for Women back in the day. She hasn’t lost her zeal or edge.

    But the person who brought the house down was poet Nikky Finney who read a new poem that both provoked thought and inspired action in this new era of uncertainty in the political environment. Nikky Finney is her own powerful force, a voice for the frustrated and disenfranchised – a voice to be reckoned with.

    035

     Wham Bam! Thank you, ma’am!

    Alrighty then. Fired up – ready to go!

  • I Will Lift Up Mine Eyes Unto the Hills – A Final Farewell to the Obama Presidency


    Last night Pretty and I watched and listened to President Barack Obama as he delivered his final address to the nation, and I confess we both shed tears during the speech. I feel a deep sense of personal loss today – like I have lost a member of my family because the Obama family has, indeed, made me feel welcome to be a part of their lives in the White House for the past eight years. That’s a long time.

    Webster’s Thesaurus describes the word eloquent as follows: “persuasive, forceful, striking, stirring, moving, spirited, emphatic, articulate, passionate, impassioned, vivid, poetic.” Pause and let that sink in.

    The President’s final address in Chicago was as eloquent as his first speech there eight years ago and remarkably reminiscent of the first one in his themes of hope and confidence for future generations of Americans. That hope and confidence is a true leap of faith at the end of two terms of the most contentious, bitter years of partisanship in our political process as I’ve witnessed in my seventy years as a citizen.

    His belief in the necessity of compromise and cooperation to accomplish his goals of peace and prosperity for the American people and our allies has been both his strength and unbelievably, also his weakness. His legacy will be debated by historians for the next hundred years, but his successes and failures are already in the books.

    Obama…statesman…humanitarian…peacemaker… orator…father…husband…sports fan…a person of integrity with a good sense of humor…decent human being. These are my impressions of the man I’ve grown to know and love.

    But the most indelible impressions I have of Barack Obama are in his role as the compassionate comforter to a nation plagued by multiple shootings sprinkled throughout his presidency. Binghamton, New York. Representative Gabrielle Giffords in Tucson, Arizona. Aurora, Colorado movie theater. Fort Hood two times. Washington Navy Yard. Oak, Wisconsin. Chattanooga, Tennessee. San Bernadino, California. Jewish synagogue in Kansas City. Muslims in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Oregon community college. Sandy Hook Elementary School in December of 2012.

    Mother Emanuel Church in Charleston, South Carolina on June 18, 2015.

    “Michelle and I know several members of Emanuel AME Church. We knew their pastor, the Rev. Clementa Pinckney, who, along with eight others, gathered in prayer and fellowship and was murdered last night. And to say our thoughts and prayers are with them and their families, and their community doesn’t say enough to convey the heartache and the sadness and the anger that we feel. Any death of this sort is a tragedy. Any shooting involving multiple victims is a tragedy. There is something particularly heartbreaking about the death happening in a place in which we seek solace and we seek peace, in a place of worship.” (June 18, 2015)

    All in all, there were 15 multiple shootings during President Obama’s two terms, and I turned to him for some degree of reasoning and yes, comfort, in the aftermath of those horrific acts. Each time, he carried the weight of our collective grief and sorrow on his shoulders and somehow brought a compassionate comfort to our troubled republic.

    Almost exactly a year after the Mother Emanuel tragedy in my home state, another terrorist attack or hate crime or whatever you want to call it took place at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida on June 12, 2016. It was the deadliest mass shooting by a single shooter in our country’s history and the largest attack launched since 09-11, 2001.

    There were 49 people killed and 53 wounded.

    “Today, as Americans, we grieve the brutal murder — a horrific massacre — of dozens of innocent people.  We pray for their families, who are grasping for answers with broken hearts. We stand with the people of Orlando, who have endured a terrible attack on their city…

    This is an especially heartbreaking day for all our friends — our fellow Americans — who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.  The shooter targeted a nightclub where people came together to be with friends, to dance and to sing, and to live.  The place where they were attacked is more than a nightclub — it is a place of solidarity and empowerment where people have come together to raise awareness, to speak their minds, and to advocate for their civil rights. 

    So this is a sobering reminder that attacks on any American — regardless of race, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation — is an attack on all of us and on the fundamental values of equality and dignity that define us as a country.  And no act of hate or terror will ever change who we are or the values that make us Americans…

    Today marks the most deadly shooting in American history.  The shooter was apparently armed with a handgun and a powerful assault rifle.  This massacre is therefore a further reminder of how easy it is for someone to get their hands on a weapon that lets them shoot people in a school, or in a house of worship, or a movie theater, or in a nightclub.  And we have to decide if that’s the kind of country we want to be.  And to actively do nothing is a decision as well.

    As we go together, we will draw inspiration from heroic and selfless acts — friends who helped friends, took care of each other and saved lives.  In the face of hate and violence, we will love one another.  We will not give in to fear or turn against each other.  Instead, we will stand united, as Americans, to protect our people, and defend our nation, and to take action against those who threaten us.    

    May God bless the Americans we lost this morning.  May He comfort their families.  May God continue to watch over this country that we love.  Thank you.”

    I will miss this President Obama whose accomplishments at the international and national levels were many including a Nobel Peace Prize but whose presidency for me was essentially a personal one.

    For some reason his exit triggers a memory of my father’s last words to me as he was being rolled away on a hospital bed to a surgery that would change our family’s lives forever: I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills from which cometh my help…

    I will leave it there.

     

     

     

  • Home is the Sailor, Home from the Sea – and the Lady Gamecocks, Home from the Road


    And so apparently Pretty and Slow’s Chicken Road Curse for the Lady Gamecocks is officially stomped out with another road victory yesterday at the University of Florida in Gainesville. Great Balls of Fire – the girls in the Lady G uniforms finished with an 81 – 62 win against a very good Florida team and three very busy refs who loved to blow their whistles more than most refs will do all season. I’m not kidding.

    florida-game-12

    Hey, there – we’re the refs…

    and we’ve got these shiny new whistles we like to blow

    florida-game-13

    florida-game-21

    Please don’t play nice –

    we can’t wait to blow our new whistles

     

    florida-game-18

    Lady Gs warm up – Gators bonding

    Coach Dawn Staley had her 200th. win at Auburn Thursday night and kept right on sizzling for number 201 Sunday afternoon. Pretty and I love our coach and have to confess we drive by her house sometimes since she lives a few blocks from Casa de Canterbury – no sightings other than seeing her jog by our house early one morning last summer. That was fun. Thanks, Coach Dawn, for keeping us all on track.

    florida-game-14

    Hey, there – old lady with the white hair… 

    You look familiar – do I know you?

    florida-game-22

    florida-game-1

    Coach Staley has a teachable moment during the game

    florida-game-2

    Everybody, listen up

    florida-game-3

    Associate Coach Boyer has a word with #22 A’ja Wilson who scored 23 points and had 13 rebounds

    (and also scared us to death with an ankle injury in the 4th. quarter – sending good wishes for her speedy recovery)

    florida-game-30

    Bianca, did you understand what she just said?

    florida-game-7

    #10 Allisha Gray had a big game with 18 points – 

    (everybody takes plenty of notes)

    florida-game-4

    The halftime entertainment was an amazing woman 

    who committed unnatural acts right in front of us

    florida-game-5

    Never in my wildest dreams

    When the game was over, Pretty and I made our way back to our dogs who had spent two hours in the car with the windows properly ventilated and were thrilled to have our company as we started the 400-mile trip home to Casa de Canterbury.

    All’s well that ends well, as The Red Man was fond of saying, and we arrived home safely in time to catch Meryl Streep on the Golden Globes last night. Wouldn’t have missed her for the world – she was a wonderful reminder of the importance of our resistance to inertia in the days to come in the face of what we know is wrong. Everybody, listen up.

    Finally, there is good news and bad news for us as we settle back in at Casa de Canterbury. The good news is I was able to purchase a new Road Atlas at a truck stop in Georgia yesterday on the way home  – that makes me very happy and eager for another road trip.

    The bad news is Pretty has a horrible cold which puts a damper on her usual good spirits, and Charly destroyed two leashes by chewing them in pieces that can never be put back together again – much like Humpty Dumpty after his great fall.

    Bless us for a safe trip, as Granny Selma used to say when she was in her right mind.

    Stay tuned.