I Give Up

Big “D”, little “a”, double “L”  – a – s. Dallas, Dallas, Dallas, another notch in your gun belt this week; more snipers take a shot at our ability to wage peaceful parades and protests  while the face of violence lights up within your city limits. Shades of 1963 when you were the harbinger of our national nightmares to come.

I am outraged at the environment of fear and desperation that leads men to believe that shooting each other with guns or blowing up each other with bombs is the only solution to our problems within our borders and across the pond. Prejudices over skin color and religious practices cross oceans, span continents and land right at our doorsteps. And since we have the right to bear arms, we also have the right to shoot them – at each other.

Policemen who are sworn to protect us become caught up in a kind of madness that makes them so suspicious and fearful of  people of color that even routine traffic violations can turn into scenes of degradation and death.  Lives are changed forever – death is permanent – there is no taking back the gunfire that kills an innocent man or woman: no do-overs. And it’s not just that one life taken. The ripple effect in the lives of families and friends is also never-ending.

Take Back the Night? Hardly bold enough. Give Back the Light, I say. Give back the light of acceptance of citizens regardless of race or who they love or where they worship, but without apathy toward those who struggle with less. Acceptance without apathy – do we have leaders capable of recognizing the reality of the feelings of Powerlessness that drive men to fire gunshots against the Powerful…I wonder. And can the Powerful be changed to look beyond the obvious to the pain below the surface…I wonder.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God, Jesus said in his sermon on the mount. I am looking for the peacemakers, I am waiting for the peacemakers, I am hoping that they find their way to Dallas, Texas tonight.

Otherwise, I give up.






About Sheila Morris

Sheila Morris is a personal historian, essayist with humorist tendencies, lesbian activist, truth seeker and speaker in the tradition of other female Texas storytellers including her paternal grandmother. In December, 2017, the University of South Carolina Press published her collection of first-person accounts of a few of the people primarily responsible for the development of LGBTQ organizations in South Carolina. Southern Perspectives on the Queer Movement: Committed to Home will resonate with everyone interested in LGBTQ history in the South during the tumultuous times from the AIDS pandemic to marriage equality. She has published five nonfiction books including two memoirs, an essay compilation and two collections of her favorite blogs from I'll Call It Like I See It. Her first book, Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing received a Golden Crown Literary Society Award in 2008. Her writings have been included in various anthologies - most recently the 2017 Saints and Sinners Literary Magazine. Her latest book, Four Ticket Ride, was released in January, 2019. She is a displaced Texan living in South Carolina with her wife Teresa Williams and their dogs Spike, Charly and Carl. She is also Naynay to her two granddaughters Ella and Molly James who light up her life for real. Born in rural Grimes County, Texas in 1946 her Texas roots still run wide and deep.
This entry was posted in Lesbian Literary, Personal, Reflections and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to I Give Up

  1. boblamb says:


    Sent from my iPad

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bob Slatten says:

    “Give back the light of acceptance.”
    Wouldn’t that be lovely. I read on Facebook tonight where someone asked that, rather than offer our thoughts and prayers in the aftermath of the brutality, if we could just try be nicer to one another in the first place.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: I Give Up – Red's Rants and Raves

  4. diannegray says:

    Totally agree. This madness has to stop…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Terry says:

    Today, another shooting took place at a courthouse about 30 minutes from me. Three killed including cop. News hasn’t stated the reasons or why’s yet; but does it matter? It happened, period, that’s what matters. If it isn’t about sexes, or race or politics, it will be about something. The world is going out of control. Hope I said all this in a proper way.

    Liked by 1 person

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