Category Archives: Reflections

some goodbyes are more painful than others


From 1977 to 1991, the North Carolina Tar Heels aired on WBT AM which was a 50,000-watts radio station in Charlotte, North Carolina. Charlotte was 90 miles north of Columbia, South Carolina so reception for the Tar Heels basketball and football games was scratchy in the best of times. In 1982 the Tar Heels won their second of six NCAA men’s basketball championships, and somewhere around that time two men who were introduced at lunch by a mutual friend because he knew they shared a common interest in all things Tar Heels – these two men in their thirties decided they would drive to the outer edges of the army base at Fort Jackson which was ten miles outside of Columbia to get better reception to sit in their car and listen to whatever games North Carolina had on the air.

Their passion for the Tar Heels resulted in a friendship between Dick Hubbard and Fred Roper that lasted for the next four decades, past the little WBT radio station broadcasts to the luxury of Big Screen TVs that went from black-and-white to color on ESPN and Fox networks to streaming whenever and wherever they wanted to watch. Together. Occasionally an outsider was invited to share the fun, but mostly it was Dick and Fred.

All good times come to an end, and last week Dick called me to say he had lost his best male friend. Fred had been ill for a number of years, and his husband Jon had found him unresponsive at home that morning. The EMS responders were unable to resuscitate him.

We live in an age where friendships are often seasonal, random, difficult to maintain. People change, move on, move away, lose interest, stop working on friendships; but in a world where platonic friendships may not be celebrated with the same fanfare we offer our married friends’ anniversaries, I’d like to say congratulations to Dick for being a loyal, devoted friend to Fred in sickness and in health.

Rest in peace, Fred. You will be missed by many of us, and your Tar Heels owe you another title. Maybe next year, but it won’t be the same without you.

;

Hey, Girl, Hey!


Some birthdays the hits just keep on rolling. Although my actual birthday was the 21st., two nights later another Memory Maker at El Jimador in Cayce. Pretty and I met some of our Gamecock Women’s basketball buddies JD, Garner, Brian, Joan and Robert for a dinner at a – wait for it – Mexican restaurant to continue celebrating the euphoria of our third National Championship, and talking up the chances of repeating in 2025 when the Final Four returns to Tampa Bay where Pretty and I attended our first Final Four with the Gamecocks in 2015 when, alas, there was no victory to celebrate.

Garner and JD found this birthday card that reminded them of my greeting whenever I see them at the games: Hey, girls, hey!

But they also brought me a bottle of my favorite liquor for shots before the games, or really for any occasion. Silver Patro’n Tequila. (Excuse the accent mark error.) Hopefully, you already know the tequila I’m talking about. JD included a container of his famous homemade blue cheese dressing that I could almost drink by itself with or without a shot. Thankfully, I have a bag of Fritos I can dip into it for a tasty lunch today. Yummy.

Brian and Robert treated me to my favorite dinner of two cheese enchiladas with delicious rice and beans as a reward not only for a birthday but also for my win with Pretty for the most repeat viewings of the 2024 championship victory over Iowa in the past two weeks. Our number was 5, but Garner and JD weren’t far behind with 3. If anyone can top 5, please let me know. Coaches and players can’t participate in the contest!

In June of 1967 I was already a sports fan even as I contemplated my graduation in two months from the University of Texas at Austin. This random picture recently came out of the blue to me from another UT friend who lives in Wyoming now. She and I were visiting my grandparents in Richards, Texas. Their house is in the background of this picture of me with my parents’ bird dog puppy Seth. The house no longer is there – it burned to the ground many years ago. I recognize the Texas sweatshirt – they came in all colors, and I had bought this blue one since I already had several orange ones. Check out the vanilla jeans, a wardrobe necessity for me.

That twenty-one-year-old young woman could never have imagined the twists and turns her life would take in the next fifty-seven years, but she would always remember her family on every birthday, holiday, and days in between because she still felt their love from deep in her heart.

Maybe she should write a book about that time, the place and her people. Oh, that’s right. She did. Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing.

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Stay tuned for next post: Meeting a Shero!

let them eat cake


birthday cake from Pretty shared with granddaughters and their parents

four-year-old Ella sat on table for better position near cake

icing the best part of the birthday cake – Yummy!

Birthday #78 started with a wonderful surprise in our yard when Pretty asked me first thing in the morning, have you seen the Happy Birthday yard sign? to which I responded, no, but let me look. When I opened the front door, I couldn’t believe my eyes! I went outside to take a picture and saw that one of our good friends for many years, Chuck Archie, had made the colorful wondrous birthday wishes and delivered them like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the tooth fairy during the night for me to see when I woke up. Heartfelt thanks to Chuck for making such a festive gesture – it’s a real memory maker for me – I will smile whenever I think of his kindness.

I had a personal Happy Place on my birthday yesterday, a space created by the many texts, Facebook messages, and cyberspace greetings. From childhood friends and family in Texas to friends and family in South Carolina to blogging friends around the world, I will treasure the warm feelings of love your words gave me. I am, indeed, a fortunate woman.

While the day was extraordinary for me and Pretty, some things remained the same.

Carl and Charly had their regular posts next to my favorite chair in the den

Thank you all for hanging in with us.

who wins the Race of Life?


the fastest?

slow and steady?

What words of Wisdom do you have for your followers, Old Woman Warrior who has lived seventy and eight years when the sun rises in the east tomorrow?

The Race is sometimes won by fast and furious,

sometimes won by slow and steady,

but it is never won from the sidelines.

And that, my cyberspace friends, is the best I can do. Life is, indeed, short.

Don’t skip the Race.

You Win Some, You Lose NONE! (Parade Halt for this year)


The Parade was a huge success according to Columbia Mayor Daniel Rickenman with the largest crowds ever seen for any parade he could remember in the city. Estimates placed the number at more than 20,000 people who celebrated from where the Parade began on North Main Street to where it ended on the steps of the Statehouse two hours later.

The following photos were taken by Alex Hicks, Jr. for the Greenville News at the 2024 Gamecock National Championship Parade in Columbia on Sunday, April 14rh. so full credit to him for the images I wish I could have captured.

You Win Some, You Lose None

Gamecock All Tournament Team Guard Raven Johnson greets “fams”

crowds waiting for pep rally at Parade’s end

Coach Staley and her team salute throngs of well-wishers

from South Carolina statehouse steps

National Championship MVP Kamilla Cardoso counts to three championships

Coach Staley delivers heartfelt thanks, inspirational words

following 38-0 perfect season and NCAA Championship

Finally, if you are an American looking toward the November general elections with fear and trepidation, Alex Hicks, Jr. captured this sign during the parade:

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P.S. Our granddaughters were among the 20,000 at the Parade Sunday, and although they had an awesome time, a couple of disappointments couldn’t be erased.

I never saw Cocky at the parade, four-year-old Ella told me

two-year-old Molly said, I never got ice cream

(last two photos by Upstate Dawne)