Author: Sheila Morris

  • Texas Highway 105 – A Lesson In Liberalism


    I took a road trip with my dogs this afternoon on some back roads in Grimes County and stopped late in the afternoon at Holder’s for a cheeseburger basket.   I visited with Bobby Holder, the proprietor, and remembered my first visit two years ago and the story I wrote shortly after a second visit.  I’ve seen Bobby many times during the past couple of years but never had a more memorable visit than the first.  This story is from my manuscript I’ll Call It Like I See It.   Thanks for stopping by…enjoy…

    TEXAS HIGHWAY 105 – MY LESSON IN LIBERALISM

                Texas State Highway 105 starts five miles inside the Louisiana border between Orange and Vidor.  It’s one of the countless farm and state roads that make up the highway system of a state that stretches almost a thousand miles from east to west.  If you’re headed to El Paso from Beaumont, pack a lunch.  Or, better yet, a couple of lunches.  But, whatever you do, don’t take SH 105.

    This well-traveled road claims fewer than two hundred miles but passes through seven counties: Orange, Jefferson,  Hardin,  Liberty, Montgomery, Grimes, and Washington.  Many of the miles consist of winding four lanes, and the rest are very good, crooked, two-lane routes.  I lived 18 miles north of Highway 105 when I was growing up in the loblolly piney woods of Grimes County.  Now, on a good day, I can walk to that road from my home in the little village of Montgomery.  It runs smack-dab through the middle of town and is a favorite commuter connection from Houston to wherever people drive to escape the interstates that are frequently at a standstill.  Long lines of school buses and parents picking up children from the nearby elementary and middle schools create our own version of traffic jams in the middle of the afternoons during the week.  Two stoplights move everybody along in an orderly manner, but I avoid that stress whenever possible.  On Friday afternoons, the traffic gets heavy earlier because the weekend wannabe Hell’s Angels bikers leave their day jobs and immediately head west on 105 from the cities and suburbs.  I think they must carry their bandanas and jeans with them to work so they won’t have to go home to change clothes before they hit the road.

    My parents and grandparents made many trips on SH 105.  My grandfather referred to it as “one hundred five” when he talked about how to get from his home in Richards to Beaumont to visit his daughter Lucille and her family.  “Just take one hundred five all the way,” he’d say whenever anyone asked him how he drove the distance.  My dad motored the twenty-five miles from Navasota to Brenham on 105, where the road ends, on his visits to Austin every summer.  He took me with him whenever he could.  At Brenham, we picked up the major highway from Houston to Austin, SH 290.

    I didn’t process the names of the roads we drove then, and my perception of distances beyond Navasota to the south, Crabbs Prairie to the north, and Conroe to the east was that other lands were far, far away.  I was certain that Brenham must’ve been a magical kingdom because it was the home of the Blue Bell Creameries, and everyone knew they made the best ice cream in the state.  Founded in 1907, the company was named after the native wildflowers that grew with heedless abandon in the surrounding countryside.  I didn’t realize that when I was growing up, though, and I probably wouldn’t have cared anyway.  All I knew then was that the Dutch Chocolate from Mr. McAfee’s drug store couldn’t have tasted any sweeter than it already did on the cones that were two scoops for a nickel.

    The day before my sixty-fourth birthday was a magnificent Texas day.  The temperature was perfect, the blue skies were clear, and my dogs, Red and Annie, were in high spirits.  I decided to drive west from Montgomery on 105 to Navasota, the place where I was born.  I loaded the dogs in the back seat of my pickup and turned left at one of the two stoplights in town.

    I didn’t have to drive more than a mile to find the scenery that I love.  As soon as I passed Old Plantersville Road, I began to see the patches of bluebonnets that make 105 spectacular in April.  At first, they were scattered in with the reddish-orange Indian blankets and the pale pink buttercups and only appeared on the sides of the road.  Then, the patches grew thick with the deep blue that is the mature color of the state flower.  A few minutes more, and I saw a ranch with a sea of bluebonnets in its pastures, and it reminded me of the dazzling Caribbean ocean without waves.  I knew it was a good day to be on the road.

    Five miles to the west of Montgomery,  I made my first stop in Dobbin, which has no traffic lights but does have a cowboy roadhouse called Holder’s, which is owned by a proprietor of the same name.  Bobby Holder doesn’t look like a cowboy, though.  He wears faded blue overalls and a dark T-shirt beneath them.  He resembles an Appalachian mountain man with hair the color of charcoal mixed with some white ash tightly pulled down his back in a long ponytail.  His thick mustache is the same shade of black and white.  A plain, unfashionable baseball cap completes his look.  The first time I saw him, I labeled him in my mind as a hillbilly hippie, right-wing extremist, and all-around Bad Guy.  That was a few visits ago.

    The restaurant is as interesting as its owner.  The building is ancient and consists of three distinct areas visible from the small, gravel parking lot.  The weathered wood building has a steep rusted tin roof that promises a larger space than is visible from the parking area.  A little log section to the right is clearly the barbecue pit.  Smoke rises from the flue and drifts occasionally into the middle porch space, which is open-air and the place where four stained, wooden tables with benches accommodate the “eat-in” customers.  (Feel free to carve your initials on a table.  Everyone else does.)  To the left, a window for ordering is surrounded by the handwritten menu that’s written on a chalkboard tacked to the wall.  The tiny kitchen is behind the ordering window, and the smells of cooking barbecue mix deliciously with the aroma of burgers frying on the grill while you wait patiently for service.  A sign under the window warns: “If you’re in a hurry, go to Houston.”

    Imagine every Texas roadhouse you ever saw in western movies, put that in high-definition, surround-sound, Blue Ray, 3-D with the appropriate eyewear, or whatever, and you can begin to picture Holder’s.  Bobby is quick to mention to anyone who’s a newcomer that Hollywood discovered his place last year, and he has a framed newspaper article to prove it.  When a film was shot on location in the Houston area, the crew made a stop at Holder’s and a local reporter penned the story that immortalized the restaurant.  The picture hangs on the wall to the left of the ordering window and occupies a place of prominence among the vast array of wall art vying for attention.  I could have easily missed it in the midst of an extensive collection of frightening heads of longhorn cattle with varying horn sizes from small to huge, an “audition” sign for waitresses for Hooter’s that consists of two very large holes for women’s breasts,  all the brightly colored Texas license plates ever hammered by inmates of its legendary correctional institutions, high school football schedules for the Montgomery Bears for the past few years and assorted photos of satisfied customers.  The sound of country music legends blares from speakers in a large, mostly vacant room behind the front porch eating section.

    My first trip to the restaurant was with my partner, Teresa, last month during the week we moved to Montgomery.  We were driving home from Navasota on SH 105 and noticed it from the road and thought it looked intriguing, so we stopped.   After we ordered our cheeseburger baskets from a friendly woman who was also the cook, we asked her if we could sit inside the huge room at a small wooden table instead of the benches on the porch.  We were late afternoon customers and had the entire place to ourselves, so that wasn’t a problem.  The interior room looked like a large barn with a loft full of tools and materials that indicated the room was a work in progress.  The back end of an old, but newly painted, aqua blue Thunderbird Convertible was mounted on a wall near our table.  Teresa and I were startled and amused to see this as the focal point of décor in the barn-like setting.  The space was large enough for a dance floor, and with the country music blaring, I imagined it was the perfect spot for weekend Texas two-stepping until I saw the hours of operation posted: M – TH 10:00 – 5:00. FR – SAT 10:00 – 7:00. SUN CLOSED.  Unless you danced early, you weren’t dancing at Holder’s.

    When the cook brought us our cheeseburger baskets, I asked her about the restaurant.

    “Bobby owns it—he’s the guy in the ponytail.  He does the barbecuing himself, and sometimes he handles the grill, too.  He takes a lot of pride in his place here,” she said.

    “It looks like he’s trying to expand and add entertainment in this space,” I said.

    “Yes, he does all the work himself, so it takes a little while,” she said.

    “How long has he been working on it?” Teresa asked.

    “About five years,” she replied.  “Can I get you gals anything else?”

    We shook our heads, and she left us to our meal.  I suppose it’s possible to get a bad hamburger in Texas if you go to one of the chain places that are the same in every state.  But if you get a burger at Holder’s, you’ll never think of hamburgers in the same way again.  The ground lean beef is cooked perfectly with the right amount of seasonings.  The lettuce and tomatoes are fresh, and the onions mixed with mustard add a flavorful kick.  The melted American cheese oozes to the corners of the toasted old-fashioned buns that are just the right size.  The French fries are homemade and piled high.  You’ll go away, but you won’t go away hungry.

    That first visit was memorable for more than the food, though.

    The morning after we ate that first time at Holder’s, Teresa and I talked about our projects for the Texas house.  We had decided to paint several of the rooms a different color and needed to buy the paint from the local hardware store.

    “Have you seen my billfold?” I asked her when it wasn’t in its place next to the kitchen stove.

    “No,” she said.  “Did you look in the bedroom?”

    With that, we began an exhaustive search through the house and outside.  We looked in the truck.  No wallet.  I tried not to panic, but I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as I thought of all that was lost.  Since we were traveling from South Carolina to Texas and cash was a concern, I had over six hundred dollars in my wallet, and that was a whopping amount of money for our budget.  All of my credit cards, driver’s license, everything that held the clue to my financial identity were in that billfold, and I didn’t have it.  What in the world had I done?

    “When was the last time you paid for something?” Teresa asked.

    I tried to think.  The last time I could remember paying for anything was the food at Holder’s the afternoon before.  I told Teresa that we needed to drive back to Dobbin to retrace our steps, but neither of us expected to see the money again.  I felt physically sick.

    We had barely backed out of our driveway when my cell phone rang.  It was Claudia, the realtor who handled the purchase of our home in Montgomery.  She told me that Bobby Holder called her and said he found her card in a wallet that I had left in his restaurant the previous evening.  It was the only phone number he could find to try to contact me to let me know that it was safe.  An overpowering feeling of relief poured through me, and I felt like I could breathe again.  Teresa and I were ecstatic, giddy at the bullet we’d dodged.  We glided west on 105 to Holder’s.

    When Bobby handed me my wallet, he was almost apologetic for having to go through it to look for a number.  “I saw all that cash, and I saw the South Carolina driver’s license.  I knew how I would feel if I were this far from home with no money, cards, or anything else.  I worried about it all night.”

    I offered him a reward, but he refused to have any of that, and I took a second look at this man whose character I so quickly judged by his appearance less than twenty-four hours ago.  I have always been proud of my liberal leanings with their ostensible lack of labels, but I realized with shame that I was guilty of the very prejudices I loathed.  Bobby and I were different, all right, but I was wrong to assume that made him incapable of good.

    “You have a customer for life,” I said.  “Even if you didn’t have fabulous food, I’d be back.  I owe you for more than you know.”

    I’m glad I stopped at Holder’s today on my birthday eve.  The cheeseburger basket is as fabulous as the first one.  Bobby isn’t in the café today, but the country legends blare on from the speakers in the back room, and somehow the back end of the Thunderbird Convertible seems the perfect décor.  I was right.  It’s a great day to be on the road, and Red and Annie are ready to ride after polishing off the last of my fries.

  • Old Plantersville Road

    Old Plantersville Road


    If today were the last day of your life, where would you want to be?   This is not a trick question.   There are no right or wrong answers and everyone makes an A.   So take a magic mental ride to Wherever-the-Land moves you…

    As for me, I’d be on Old Plantersville Road in Montgomery County, Texas, USA, which is where I was today.   The county workers were mowing the grass and weeds along OPR while I walked with my old dog Annie and the smell of freshly mowed winter clover was intoxicating.   Clouds hid the Texas sun but they were friendly non-threatening light grey wisps that moved quickly from west to east and didn’t bother me a bit.

    I have friends that live in the pastures in the small farms along Old Plantersville Road.   At least, I consider them to be friends as I consider OPR itself to be a friend, but these beauties have limited interest in me and my dog.

    Ho hum.   Just another day in Paradise.

    Is that an Apple?

    Let’s pretend we don’t see it.

    Ok.  How often do we see an Apple on our fence post?

    It’s such a pretty Apple, and it smells so good.

    Who was it who warned us about eating Apples?   I’m thinking they were kidding.

    I don’t think one little Apple could be a problem.   Let’s go for it.

    Delicious.   And I don’t feel the least bit guilty, do you?   Nope.

    The End.

    This is why I love Old Plantersville Road.

    **************

    From one of my earliest posts – when Pretty and I were “bi-stateual” in 2012 – I was in Texas on Worsham Street in Montgomery and Pretty was in South Carolina at Casa de Canterbury.

  • I Shoulda Been A Cowboy


    I put the key in the ignition of my pickup truck to leave the parking lot of the Brookshire Brothers grocery store this afternoon and the old truck faithfully started one more time.   I am a regular customer for the blue plate special the grocery serves daily and stopped today on the way to visit my mom to pick up something for lunch.   A large newer white pickup truck caught my attention as it pulled into the parking space to my left and the driver kept the engine running.    That annoyed me because I wasn’t sure what he planned to do and backing up in parking lots has become an adventure for me since my eyesight is akin to the old cartoon character Mr. Magoo’s.   I was so preoccupied with watching the guy to my left I hadn’t once glanced to my right.   When I did, this is what I saw…

    Only in Texas, I’m sure.

    I had an almost uncontrollable urge to abandon my Dodge Dakota and run flying to the horse, leap in the saddle and gallop wildly out of the parking lot with the wind blowing my hair around me in swirls!   Ah, so many problems with that fantasy, though.   It’s unlikely I could run anywhere these days and certainly not a prayer of leaping into a saddle.  Ouch!   And as for the hair blowing in the wind, Brad Pitt might pull that look off, but my hair hasn’t been long enough to make a swirl since I was in grammar school many moons ago.

    I shoulda been a cowboy.   Instead, I was a CPA.    A stockbroker.   A financial advisor.    A vice president of investments.   A college accounting instructor.   A church minister of music.    But never a cowboy except when I was a little girl growing up in rural East Texas and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count.   So, today when I saw the riderless horse standing quietly next to me in the parking lot, I was reminded of the cowboy I wasn’t.

    It’s okay, though.   In real life it’s much easier to ride a desk than a horse and allow books and movies and television westerns to feed my fantasies of the cowboy’s romantic nomadic existence.

    Hmmm…and maybe it wasn’t the horses I was interested in anyway.

  • Images


    IMAGES

    She sits in her large recliner that is covered with worn blankets for extra warmth.

    She is shrunken with age and her spine is so curved by scoliosis she slumps down into the

    bowels of the chair.   It seems to swallow her tiny body.

    She has lost weight since she came to this place three months ago.   She doesn’t eat.

    Her meals are pureed in a blender and fed through a large syringe.

    Open, please.  Thank you.

    She wears bright blue flowered pajamas which I know don’t belong to her.

    She is covered by a Christmas blanket and looks like an incongruous mixture of Hawaii

    with the North Pole.

    Her beautiful white hair is uncombed today and she periodically raises her right hand to

    carefully brush a few strands from her forehead.   There, that’s better.

    Two other women sit in similar recliners in the dark den lit only by the reflected light of

    a massive television screen which is the focal point of the room.

    How I Met Your Mother is playing this afternoon.   No one watches this episode about

    misadventures on New Year’s Eve.

    I find the irony in the sitcom’s name since the woman in Chair Number One is my mother.

    She has needed care for the past four years, and I have sat with her as her dementia progressed

    in medical jargon from mild to moderate to severe.   Severe is where we are for sure.

    I try to talk to her about visiting my aunt over the weekend.   No response.

    Instead, she gazes at her black leather shoes on the floor in front of her.

    Slowly, very deliberately, she bends over and painstakingly reaches for her left shoe.

    I move to help her because I am afraid she’ll fall out of the chair.

    Do you want to put on your shoes, Mom?

    She stares vacantly at me and shakes her head.

    Ok, I say and return to my seat on the large overstuffed sofa next to her chair.

    I make conversation with one of two sisters who care for my mother and the

    two other mothers who sit in the recliners.   Mothers and daughters and sisters.

    We are all connected in the little den with the big tv.

    My mother ignores me as she continues her ritual of laboriously picking up her

    black shoes one by one, tugging on the tongue to ready it for her foot, fiddling with the

    shoelaces as if to adjust them and then lowering the shoe to the floor in front of her to the

    same place it was before.     She does this over and over again.   Ad infinitum.

    During one of her attempts, she drops a shoe beyond her reach, and I put it in front

    of her chair with the other one.

    Do you need help to put on your shoes?  I ask again.

    No.  I have to keep on this road, she answers.   She was on a mission.

    The mother in Chair Number Two tells me she tried to help my mother with her shoes earlier.

    She told me to get away from them so I did, the woman said with a note of exasperation.

    I’m sorry, I say.   That isn’t really who she is.

    But I’m wrong.   That is who she is now.

    I talk and try to avoid watching my mother and her little black shoes for an eternity

    that is only an hour.

    Mom, I have to go, I say.

    She looks at me with some level of recognition and says Don’t leave me.

    I’ll be back in a day or two, I say and hug her and kiss her on the cheek and tell

    her I love her.   I love you too, she says.   I really do.

  • Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh


    GOLD, FRANKINCENSE AND MYRRH

    A CHRISTMAS STORY FOR THE 21ST CENTURY

                And it came to pass in these days that there went out a decree from the personal laptop computers and hand-held computers and iPads and iPods and high-definition televisions and Sirius radio satellite stations that all the world should be buying gifts for Christmas in 4G.   And all went to buy gifts, every one into his/her favorite retailer, or online.

    There was an old woman who lived in the world

    and her eyes saw and her ears heard the decree,

    but her heart refused to buy 4G.

    For, you see, too many Christmases had come and gone

    And the old woman’s heart had turned to stone.

    The gifts she wanted couldn’t be wrapped.

    They were buried in memories too deeply trapped.

    But, behold, the old woman was visited by wise women this year,

    And they came bearing gifts of good cheer.

    Gold, frankincense and myrrh from days of old?   Not quite.

    But the women followed the same bright light.

    I’m a basic Bah, Humbug Christmas person and have been for years.   I’m not clinically depressed during the Holiday Season, but neither am I joyful.  I resist the pressure to shop ‘til I drop, but that isn’t limited to a particular time of the year, either.  I’m considering the possibility I may suffer from borderline Scrooge disorder or at a minimum, Holiday Harrumphs.

    This year is different.   I’ve been jolted and shaken out of my cynicism and once again believe in the Magic that is Christmas.   I think my transformation actually began last year when my new neighbors in Texas on Worsham Street decorated their homes and yards with spectacular exterior holiday lighting.   They adorned trees, bushes, windows, doors, porches, benches, roofs – anything they could find to attach a string of lights – and the little street came alive with white icicle lights and plain white lights and multi-colored lights of all shapes and sizes that glowed and blinked and gave the appearance of a miniature Disneyland.  I absolutely loved them and of course, I had to participate with my own lights on our house on the street.  I felt my Christmas ice melt just a little each time I turned the switch that lit my bright lights.  This year the street is again beautiful, and I thank my neighbors for the inspiration of their lighting traditions.

    I miss my family at Christmas, the family that defined Christmas for me as a child.  That family is gone as that time and place are gone, but the child inside me mourns their loss every time I hear “Silent Night” and other carols sung during this time of the year.  We were musical people and much of our holiday revolved around music in our churches where my mother was always responsible for the Christmas Cantata.  Sometimes she played the piano for it so my dad could lead the church choir and sometimes she drafted another pianist so she could lead the choir herself.  Regardless, music was the reason for the season for us and we celebrated the season in church.

    Family has been re-defined in my adult life by my partner and four children in furry suits that I adore.  I have a step-son who now has a girlfriend he lives with and so our family grows together.  Through the past forty years I’ve been away from Texas I’ve been fortunate to have wonderful friends who have become closer than the DNA-linked group I left behind.  In my gay and lesbian community in South Carolina, the term “family” is a word we use to describe ourselves.  The question, “Do you think she’s family?” is translated, “Do you think she’s a lesbian like us?”  Being part of a marginalized sub-culture creates strong bonds within that environment and my friends have been simply the best.

    Coming home to Texas to live has connected me once again with my DNA family and that’s been an incredible experience and part of the Magic of Christmas for me the last two years. First cousins, second cousins, third cousins once removed and the people they’ve married and their children are good, and a few questionable, surprises for me.  Gathering for a cousins’ Christmas potluck luncheon or going with cousins to the Montgomery Annual Cookie Walk or having cousins come to our home or visiting in their homes rekindle good memories of the times when our hair wasn’t white and our figures were slimmer and the great-grandparents at the table weren’t us. I see these relatives and I am a part of them, and I feel good to belong to them at Christmas. Our conversations honor and celebrate our heritage and the ones who are no longer with us.  We laugh and cry together because we are moved by our memories. My family is a Christmas gift.

    But just as the familiar story goes of the Wise Men who followed a bright light to Bethlehem and brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh to the baby boy in the manger, Wise Women in my life have brought gifts that rocked my Christmas complacency. My partner surprised me with an early gift at Thanksgiving when I went home to her in South Carolina.  It’s worth its weight in gold to me.  It’s a western saddle made of leather and rides a wooden quilt holder that a neighbor gave me when she saw the saddle.  It’s a perfect combination and looks good in my Texas den underneath a picture of a cowboy sitting on a fence.  Whenever I look at the saddle, I think of two of my favorite things: my partner who knew me well enough to buy this treasure for me and my days of riding horses as a child. I feel the love of the giver of this perfect gift.

    Frankincense was used in ancient times for medicinal and calming purposes including treatment for depression.  Burning frankincense was also thought to carry prayers to heaven by people in those days.  One of the Wise Women in my life gave me my own version of frankincense last week when she bought a plane ticket to South Carolina for me to be with my partner for Christmas.  I marvel at this generosity from a friend who surely loves me and who chased away the potential Christmas blues. This gift came from prayers to heaven that were unasked but answered on the wings of a snow white dove called US Airways and the spirit that is the Magic of Christmas in the heart of my friend.

    Myrrh is an Arabic word for bitter and it is the resin that comes from a tree that grows in the semi-desert regions of Africa and the Red Sea.  The Chinese used it for centuries to treat wounds and bruises and bleeding.  The Egyptians used myrrh as an embalming oil for their mummies.  Yesterday I received another gift that reminded me of myrrh – not the bitterness nor the embalming properties – but the unexpected present was a live blooming cactus plant that arrived at my house via a congenial UPS driver who I believe thinks he is Santa Claus.  When I opened the box and removed the moss packing per the enclosed instructions, I was stunned by the beauty of the pink blooms and the deep rich green of the plant.  The gift came from another Wise Woman who is married to my cousin in Rosenberg, Texas and was an additional reminder of the Magic that lives in Christmas.  Every day I’ll see these blooms and think of my cousins who sent them and the healing power beauty affords us when we take a moment to consider it.  I’ve always loved a Christmas cactus.

    Gold, frankincense and myrrh with a 21st century twist.  The Christmas story of Mary and Joseph’s plight in the manger in Bethlehem has been told and re-told for thousands of years.  Regardless of your belief, it is a tender tale of a family who welcomes a baby boy into a world of conflict and hardship and hopes he will somehow change it for the better.   The same conflicts continue two thousand years later and hardships of every shape and description plague our families today, but we move on.  Sometimes forward, sometimes backward.  But onward we go.  And in this spirit of hope for a better world where peace becomes the norm and hardships are made more bearable, I abandon my Bah, Humbug  with a Merry Christmas to all!