Big Money, Vanna


Who let the money out of the bag?   Oh, you mean who let the cat out of the bag.   No, I mean who let the money out of the big ol’ US Guvmint Bag?   Ah, how much money are we talkin’ bout, Willis?   Gobs and gobs?

Oh, yeah.   We’re talkin’ gobs and gobs and gazillions of gobs.   We’re talkin’ so much we don’t even know how many zeroes to put after it.   As a financial person in a former life, I should never read articles about money.   As a social justice activist and relative pacifist, I should rarely read articles about wars or health care.   And I should never ever EVER read an article that contains extensive information about government spending in the past fifty years.   Step away from the computer, O Person Who Reads With Forked Mind.

For example, today I read that the Wall Street Bailout cost us $4.76 trillion dollars of which $1.54 trillion is floating around loose somewhere with no repayment in sight.   Zing went the strings of my wallet – and yours, too.  Coincidentally, or as luck would have it,  two nights ago I watched the movie Too Big to Fail and I advise against watching it unless you have a strong stomach.   The plot traces the origins of the economic disaster that began in 2008 and continues to plague our country today.   Snow White has two new Wall Street Dwarfs named Greedy and Thiefy and they run the Big Money, Vanna.

Can I buy a vowel?   Indeed, and you can buy a couple of wars while you’re at it.   The smartest vowel to buy is an “A’ which is found in the words IrAq and AfghAnistAn.   Wow –  that’s cost you $122 billion dollars per year since 2001 and by the way we haven’t stopped spending and we didn’t count people cost, either.   Ouch…that A was expensive.

Can I buy a Happy Vowel now because the “A” brought a frown to the unflappable Pat Sajak and the entire Audience, too.    Let’s see.  Yes, you may buy an “I” for the eIsenhower Interstate hIghway system that was built from 1956 to 1991 for  $484 billion and counting.   The Good News is  this vowel has generated $6 in revenue for every $1 in cost so that should make you happy as you drive merrily along your favorite Interstate Highway.  Yippee – this game is fun.   Big wheels keep on rollin’ and spinnin’, too.

Okay.   One last spin of your big ol’ US Guvmint Bag Wheel…oops!      BANKRUPT.

Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

About Sheila Morris

Sheila Morris is an essayist with humorist tendencies who periodically indulges her desires to write outside her genre by trying to write fiction and poetry. In December, 2017, the University of South Carolina Press is publishing her collection of first-person accounts of the people primarily responsible for the development of LGBT organizations in South Carolina. Southern Perspectives on the Queer Movement: Committed to Home will resonate with everyone interested in LGBT history in the South during the tumultuous times from the AIDS pandemic to marriage equality. She has published four nonfiction books including two memoirs, an essay compilation and a group of her favorite blogs from I'll Call It Like I See It. Her first book, Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing received a Golden Crown Literary Society Award in 2008. Her writings have been included in various anthologies - most recently the 2017 Saints and Sinners Literary Magazine. She is a displaced Texan living in South Carolina with her wife Teresa Williams and their dogs Spike and Charly. Her Texas roots are never too far from her thoughts.
This entry was posted in Humor, Life, Personal, Random, Reflections, Slice of Life, The Way Life Is and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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