I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

Category: Life

  • Dear Edie Windsor


    Dear Edie Windsor,

    Today is the 13th. day of the new regime in the oval office that is apparently now the cesspool from whence both tweets and executive orders spew forth with reckless abandon and no regard for the rights of the citizens of the republic which they were elected to serve.

    As the daughter of Russian Jewish immigrants, you must be particularly saddened at the sights and sounds of the past few days in our nation’s airports where innocent travelers’ lives were interrupted, families were separated and our American values of welcome and acceptance to those trusting us for safe harbor were randomly impugned. Shame on this administration and shame on us if we don’t fight them like you fought your entire life for the causes of social justice and equality for all.

    But today I want to give you some good news that is my way of saying thank you for the journey you took for marriage equality in the LGBT community. The Supreme Court ruling in June, 2013 for your case the United States v. Windsor has been described as “the most influential legal precedent in the struggle for LGBT marriage equality.” The dominoes of discrimination against us began to topple and fall after that ruling and before you could say two shakes of a lamb’s tail, my partner Teresa and I were the first same-sex couple to be granted our marriage license in November, 2014 in Richland County, South Carolina – the 35th. state to recognize equality.

    I can’t tell you the number of LGBT marriages that have taken place in our state since then, but I regularly see pictures of weddings via social media and personal messages of young people and older ones, too, tying the proverbial knot, as our straight friends have always said. It’s a good thing.

    Yet, this weekend, in the midst of an unbelievable national wave of hatefulness and exclusion, my wife and I went to a shower for two young lesbians who are getting married next month – a natural next step in their belief for the pursuit of happiness as they see it. It was a festive fun evening with the usual “games” for the brides-to-be, great southern barbecue with all the trimmings, a special Signature Cocktail (which I can personally endorse) and champagne for everyone.

    What made this particular shower different, however, was that the hosts were eleven straight couples with a plus one…all of them friends of the parents of one of the brides-to-be. The parents of both brides were there, and everyone celebrated the upcoming nuptials. As I mingled and talked with our friends who were the hosts, I felt I was in a different universe from the one where I didn’t dare to dream about marrying another girl when I was growing up in rural southeast Texas in the 1950s. It was if a magic carpet had transported me from a land of ignorance to a place of enlightenment. Truly remarkable.

    And so I wanted to share this joyful time with you, Edie, because you are one of the major reasons these two young women have the same hopes and dreams for their family that their straight friends do.

    Believe me when I say you were there in spirit. They may not even realize who you are and what you have done for them, but I want to simply say “I do,” and I’m forever indebted.

    Warmest wishes,

    Sheila Morris

    (reprinted with permission of Auntie Bellum magazine: http://auntiebellum.org/mag/ )

  • GRAND SLAM GREATS!


    It’s a wrap. The first tennis Grand Slam of the 2017 season is officially in the books, and the hits just keep on rolling.

    022

    The Williams Sisters share a private chat…

    while waiting to collect the spoils

    that belong only to the victors

    017

    Serena wins her 23rd. major and the big cup,

    but Venus didn’t lose in this tournament

    I am awarding Venus and Serena Williams The Red Man’s Memorial Paw Snaps and Twirls – the highest honor possible for two American women who personify persistence and perseverance to be the very best in their sport and in so doing, prove repeatedly that they are both the images of true champions. Their love of family speaks volumes about their character, and their love of playing tennis is a gift we can all appreciate and be grateful for.

    You rock, girls – keep going. Records are made to be broken.

    And then came the men’s final with Rafa Nadal and Roger Federer. Another gut-wrenching five-set match for the ages. As Australian commentator Darren Cahill said, “It’s a privilege to be able to be here and watch this amazing final.” I felt the same way sitting in the bleacher seats at Casa de Canterbury – how lucky am I to see these two passionate competitors one more time in a major final. Hooray for great tennis!

    Roger won his 18th. Grand Slam which increases his lead over Nadal and Sampras who are tied at 14. Roger was once again the Swiss Magician as he worked his magical aces and unusually magical backhands.

    australian-open-2017-mens-final

    Relief and Reflect – savor the moment

    will this be the last?

    Thirty-five used to be ancient for a professional tennis player, but Roger Federer defies the norm and continues to prepare to play at the championship level even after a six-month sabbatical from the tour to recover from a knee injury. This year the tennis gods were aligned to give him a great ride in the Australian Open, and I enjoyed celebrating with him and his team early this a.m. when he won.

    I am also awarding Roger Federer The Red Man’s Memorial Paw Snaps and Twirls Award for performance above and beyond the realm of mere mortals as he vanquished the little yellow ball and his own fears in a clash of wills as much as skills.

    008

    Lordy, lordy.  Charly and I are exhausted from our live coverage of the Australian Open. We left the comfort of our king-sized bed every morning at 3:00 a.m. to go downstairs to indulge my passion for watching the matches as they were happening a world and many time zones away. Viva Australia – whatever day it is for you – I can never keep up, but I love you and my Australian followers mucho.

    charly-and-me-on-bed-3

     Onward to the French Open in the spring.

  • Throwback Thursday? No Way! Throwback Australian Open!


    If I could turn back ti-yahhhhhmmmme, as Cher famously sang, or if I could put time in a bottle, as Jim Croce once crooned, I’d have quite a few wishes involving the positioning of certain body parts and the lubrication of others (knees, naughty readers). But I can’t turn back time.

     I will leave time travel to the four finalists in this year’s 2017 Australian Open: Serena Williams and Venus Williams in the women’s final, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal in the men’s.

    002

    A Midsummer Night’s Dream Down Under

    1st time in Grand Slams all 4 finalists in their 30s

    The Williams Sisters have been the poster girls for American tennis for almost twenty years. Venus who is now 36 years old will play her 35-year-old younger sister Serena for the trophy in the tournament where they first played each other professionally in 1998. Let’s go over that again.

    Venus and Serena Williams first played each other away from their sandlot version of tennis for real at the Australian Open in 1998 – nineteen years ago. Venus won and has beaten Serena 10 more times since then, but Serena leads the overall series 16 – 11. Venus is the oldest woman to reach the finals in the Open Era and has overcome enormous personal physical challenges to play tennis at all, never mind at the championship level. She hasn’t been in a final in Melbourne since 2003. That’s a long wait.

    013

    Serena is a woman on a mission for her 23rd. Grand Slam title which would put her in a championship class of her own ahead of Steffi Graf who now shares the most Major title wins with her at 22.

    “For us both to be in the final is the biggest dream come true for us…a Williams is going to win this tournament…” Serena said after her semi-final win.

    005

    The Williams Sisters of yesteryear

    Tick, tock, tick, tock…tennis days are fewer in the future than they were in the past for these two great American tennis icons, and I can’t wait to have my sleep interrupted one more night tonight to join them via the magic of the little screen at 3:00 a.m. ET in Australia.

    If Pretty didn’t know better, she’d think I’d been having an affair for the past two weeks. And in a way, I have.

    Roger Federer. Rafael Nadal. I can’t believe two men could give me so much pleasure, but I confess they have made me as happy when they’ve won Grand Slams on tennis courts through the years as the Lady Gamecocks do when they win bouncing bigger balls on a gym floor.

    Roger and Rafa have played each other 34 times – nine of those have been in a Grand Slam final. Rafa has won 23 to Roger’s 11, but the Swiss Magician will have an extra day of rest before the men’s final in Melbourne Sunday morning, and that makes a difference in body recovery time.

    And is it just me, or does Nadal seem to have to exert twice the energy Federer does to get the same winning results over his opponents?

    012

    011

    The Nadal family ecstatic after his semi-final win

    Both Nadal and Federer were tested by grueling five-set matches in the semi-finals by younger competition; yet somehow, somewhere within themselves the great ones seem to find one more backhand up the line, one more forehand cross-court winner,one more ace, one more crouching volley at the net, one more overhead swing before the ball bounces, one more whatever to carry themselves to match point.

    Whether graceful or grinding or some combination thereof, they persevere for years longer than they have to – or probably should force themselves to – because they have what so few younger players have these days: a passionate love for the game of tennis. It’s not about the money, folks, for these legends. It’s about the little yellow ball – and what they want to do to it.

    008

    My heart is with Venus and Rafa, but I’ll be satisfied with one of the best Australian Opens in my memory regardless of who holds the trophy.

    Game on.

  • I Will Lift Up Mine Eyes Unto the Hills – A Final Farewell to the Obama Presidency


    Last night Pretty and I watched and listened to President Barack Obama as he delivered his final address to the nation, and I confess we both shed tears during the speech. I feel a deep sense of personal loss today – like I have lost a member of my family because the Obama family has, indeed, made me feel welcome to be a part of their lives in the White House for the past eight years. That’s a long time.

    Webster’s Thesaurus describes the word eloquent as follows: “persuasive, forceful, striking, stirring, moving, spirited, emphatic, articulate, passionate, impassioned, vivid, poetic.” Pause and let that sink in.

    The President’s final address in Chicago was as eloquent as his first speech there eight years ago and remarkably reminiscent of the first one in his themes of hope and confidence for future generations of Americans. That hope and confidence is a true leap of faith at the end of two terms of the most contentious, bitter years of partisanship in our political process as I’ve witnessed in my seventy years as a citizen.

    His belief in the necessity of compromise and cooperation to accomplish his goals of peace and prosperity for the American people and our allies has been both his strength and unbelievably, also his weakness. His legacy will be debated by historians for the next hundred years, but his successes and failures are already in the books.

    Obama…statesman…humanitarian…peacemaker… orator…father…husband…sports fan…a person of integrity with a good sense of humor…decent human being. These are my impressions of the man I’ve grown to know and love.

    But the most indelible impressions I have of Barack Obama are in his role as the compassionate comforter to a nation plagued by multiple shootings sprinkled throughout his presidency. Binghamton, New York. Representative Gabrielle Giffords in Tucson, Arizona. Aurora, Colorado movie theater. Fort Hood two times. Washington Navy Yard. Oak, Wisconsin. Chattanooga, Tennessee. San Bernadino, California. Jewish synagogue in Kansas City. Muslims in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Oregon community college. Sandy Hook Elementary School in December of 2012.

    Mother Emanuel Church in Charleston, South Carolina on June 18, 2015.

    “Michelle and I know several members of Emanuel AME Church. We knew their pastor, the Rev. Clementa Pinckney, who, along with eight others, gathered in prayer and fellowship and was murdered last night. And to say our thoughts and prayers are with them and their families, and their community doesn’t say enough to convey the heartache and the sadness and the anger that we feel. Any death of this sort is a tragedy. Any shooting involving multiple victims is a tragedy. There is something particularly heartbreaking about the death happening in a place in which we seek solace and we seek peace, in a place of worship.” (June 18, 2015)

    All in all, there were 15 multiple shootings during President Obama’s two terms, and I turned to him for some degree of reasoning and yes, comfort, in the aftermath of those horrific acts. Each time, he carried the weight of our collective grief and sorrow on his shoulders and somehow brought a compassionate comfort to our troubled republic.

    Almost exactly a year after the Mother Emanuel tragedy in my home state, another terrorist attack or hate crime or whatever you want to call it took place at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida on June 12, 2016. It was the deadliest mass shooting by a single shooter in our country’s history and the largest attack launched since 09-11, 2001.

    There were 49 people killed and 53 wounded.

    “Today, as Americans, we grieve the brutal murder — a horrific massacre — of dozens of innocent people.  We pray for their families, who are grasping for answers with broken hearts. We stand with the people of Orlando, who have endured a terrible attack on their city…

    This is an especially heartbreaking day for all our friends — our fellow Americans — who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.  The shooter targeted a nightclub where people came together to be with friends, to dance and to sing, and to live.  The place where they were attacked is more than a nightclub — it is a place of solidarity and empowerment where people have come together to raise awareness, to speak their minds, and to advocate for their civil rights. 

    So this is a sobering reminder that attacks on any American — regardless of race, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation — is an attack on all of us and on the fundamental values of equality and dignity that define us as a country.  And no act of hate or terror will ever change who we are or the values that make us Americans…

    Today marks the most deadly shooting in American history.  The shooter was apparently armed with a handgun and a powerful assault rifle.  This massacre is therefore a further reminder of how easy it is for someone to get their hands on a weapon that lets them shoot people in a school, or in a house of worship, or a movie theater, or in a nightclub.  And we have to decide if that’s the kind of country we want to be.  And to actively do nothing is a decision as well.

    As we go together, we will draw inspiration from heroic and selfless acts — friends who helped friends, took care of each other and saved lives.  In the face of hate and violence, we will love one another.  We will not give in to fear or turn against each other.  Instead, we will stand united, as Americans, to protect our people, and defend our nation, and to take action against those who threaten us.    

    May God bless the Americans we lost this morning.  May He comfort their families.  May God continue to watch over this country that we love.  Thank you.”

    I will miss this President Obama whose accomplishments at the international and national levels were many including a Nobel Peace Prize but whose presidency for me was essentially a personal one.

    For some reason his exit triggers a memory of my father’s last words to me as he was being rolled away on a hospital bed to a surgery that would change our family’s lives forever: I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills from which cometh my help…

    I will leave it there.

     

     

     

  • You Don’t Have to Break Up to Wallow


    Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life made its Netflix debut over the Thanksgiving weekend with much fanfare, hoopla and hype as the three leading actresses appeared on every talk show under the sun to promote the four-part mini-series that was supposed to be a panacea for the yearnings of a major contingent of followers who wanted more from the Gilmore women of Stars Hollow and Hartford. The original American TV comedy series ran for seven seasons from 2000 to 2007 and was apparently quite popular and still missed by many.

    Pretty and I were not Gilmore Girls watchers in those first runs; perhaps because we were younger, our relationship was newer, our social life was busier, we were watching Frasier re-runs… or something else I can’t remember. Whatever the reasons, we missed it the first time around. But since we are now seasoned Netflix subscribers and recently finished the gazillion-episode BBC series Doc Martin  and needed a new diversion, we decided to give the Gilmore Girls a whirl.

    We recently started with the first season and are now prepared to spend the rest of our lives watching Loralei and Rory get daily coffee fixes at Luke’s coffee shop because each of the early years had at least a hundred episodes per season. Luckily, we found ourselves growing fond of the characters as we usually do when the writing is good and the actors as good as the script.

    For example, in one of the first season’s episodes this week I was disappointed when teenage Rory’s first true love, Dean the grocery store bag boy, dumped her. Such a cute, sweet boy – young love blossomed, bloomed, bleeped, fizzled, done. And on their three-month anniversary, too. Sigh. What to do? Talk to Mom.

    Mom’s (Lorelei’s) advice to her teenage daughter was priceless: wallow. That’s right. Wallow. Stay in your pajamas all day while you eat pizza and ice cream…don’t put on makeup…don’t shave your legs…sit in a dark room watching old movies like Love Story, An Affair to Remember, Ishtar, Old Yeller and have a good cry. Wallow the day away.

    What’s really amazing about this advice is that I’ve been wallowing minus the crying part and old movies for years without realizing it, and my wallowing has nothing at all to do with my love life. I was born to wallow, and then I had a relapse when I had a real job that required getting out of bed, applying Clinique makeup every morning after my shower, spending a fortune on perms and color to give my straight-as-a-board graying hair curls and blondeness,  getting dressed in appropriate business attire, commuting long distances to an office where I sat in front of a computer screen looking at numbers all day while agonizing over the financial decisions my clients were wrestling with…all in all, a relapse that lasted 40 years.

    But now, I have reclaimed my roots (the silver ones, too), and I wallow almost each day. Some days I never get out of my pajamas, my toothpaste gets more use than my bath soap, I gave up shaving my legs for Lent and didn’t resurrect it for Easter, I only wear makeup for date nights, and my straight short white hair qualifies for the “man’s haircut rate” with my hair stylist.  The longest commute I have is from my upstairs office to the kitchen downstairs. Life is good.

    Writing is the perfect career for wallowing. If Pretty asks me what I’ve been doing when she comes home from surveying her antique empire and finds me still in my pajamas, I can say Oh, I’ve been writing all day – which could or could not be exactly true. Unless you count watching In the Heat of the Night as research. (Ishtar, no thanks.)

    Today is New Year’s Eve, the last day of 2016, the day when many of us will be making our resolutions for 2017. I have started my list with the same one I’ve started with for the past 40 years: I need to lose 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35 pounds this year. My, how time flies.

    Hm. I never get past that first one.

    If you are making your list and checking it twice, add a day to wallow once a month. You don’t need to break up a relationship to do it – simply indulge and wallow. Indulge. Wallow. Enjoy.

    Pretty and I wish you a Happy New Year from our home at Casa de Canterbury to yours wherever you are in cyberspace around the world – stay safe, and we’ll look forward to having you hang with us in 2017!