Pretty who owned Bluestocking Books, a feminist bookstore in Columbia in 1994, not only loved books but also loved movies. She had co-sponsored Dorothy Allison to do a reading with Women’s Studies at the University of South Carolina on the evening of March 21st. which meant she would miss Tom Hanks’s beautiful acceptance speech for Best Actor in Philadelphia. I didn’t realize that night how important the Oscars were to her because I was enamored by Dorothy Allison’s stories from her award winning book Bastard Out of Carolina that had been published two years earlier.
At the time I was a financial advisor working with numbers with no thought of writing, but I was mesmerized by this woman who was born in Greenville, South Carolina, in 1949 to a fifteen-year-old mother. Lesbian literary journal Sinister Wisdom recalls Allison’s childhood was marked by poverty, sexual, physical and emotional abuse – themes which became cornerstones of her work. Needless to say following Allison’s talk, I bought her book from Pretty who invited me to go to dinner with a few friends along with Allison.
My memories of the dinner are unremarkable except that Allison was polite, even cordial but, as Pretty remembered, seemed underwhelmed by our table of local lesbians who were thrilled to be in her presence. Our lives would intersect with hers again twenty-three years later, however.
In 2017 the University of South Carolina published a collection of oral histories I edited: Southern Perspectives on the Queer Movement,Committed to Home. The back cover included a comment from Dorothy Allison whose storytelling has always been an inspiration to me as a lesbian writer.
“Thirty years of history retold from the inside is in this anthology. The people who stood up and risked their homes, their families, and their very lives to make the world safer and more just for all of us tell us how they did it, day by day, year by year.”
Through her books Dorothy Allison told us day by day, year by year of her personal struggles to make the world safer and more just for all. During the Thanksgiving season this year I will be especially thankful for this lesbian activist whose life lifted us to higher ground.
Dorothy Allison died Wednesday, November 6th., at the age of 75 – her words live on.
Like many Americans I continue to experience high anxiety about the general election taking place one week from today. I have several lingering questions in addition to worrying about the outcomes. Number One, how can November, 2024 be upon us already when we are still using leftover 4th of July napkins? Number Two, why are large acorns dropping from the gigantic oak tree in the backyard, rolling off the tin roof of our screen porch, and flying into the sun room windows with so much velocity I think we are under siege by malevolent squirrels? Thwack!
What could possibly distract me from the hate speech spewing from the campaign of the Man Who Would be King?
Thank heaven for little boys.
Yesterday my friend Becky (whose family included three sons I named the Fabulous Huss Brothers when Pretty and I became “bi-stateual” with our second home in Texas from 2010-2014) sent us a picture of a thank-you note from her youngest son George who had his 12th birthday in September. She found the note when she was cleaning behind her desk – he had written the note two years ago to thank us for the Valentine’s card and cash Pretty and I sent when he was ten. Maybe the note got lost because the universe knew I would need it more now.
Distraction accomplished. I can survive another week.
Once upon a time a kind queen who loved to wear shorts in warm weather took her two little princesses to a special Halloween festival called Trick or Trunk in the magic land of Westover Acres. All the villagers came together to celebrate by decorating their carriages to welcome the many children who lived in the kingdom.
Princess Ella and her little sister Princess Molly carry their goody gatherers
Princess Molly clutches her goody gatherer and stays close to Queen Nana
oh my, what treasures must be hidden behind the colorful carriage streamers!
Princess Ella flees the scary ghost who offered her a second piece of candy
to give her younger sister Princess Mollywho was afraid of the ghost
kind Queen Nana holds Princess Molly while Princess Ella waits her turn
decisions, decisions – so many yummy choices from Bonnie and Clyde
kind Queen Nana serves joy juices to the two thirsty princesses
last stop: corn dogs and chips marked the festival exit
kind Queen Nana and Princess Ella reach their carriage
while Princess Molly struggles to keep up
Queen Nana and Princess Ella all smiles as they leave Trick or Trunk festivities
(Princess Molly wants to make sure the ghost isn’t going home with them)
The End.
********************
When I think about the futures of Ella and Molly, my wish for them is they will grow up in a country where they are free to make discoveries of who they are and what they believe with kindness toward others, with love in their hearts, with joy in their souls.
In 1968 at twenty-two years of age I voted in my first presidential election, the beginning of fifteen presidential elections over the next fifty-six years. I was living in Seattle, Washington, and had been diligent to change my voter registration from my previous address in Houston, Texas, to my new home in Seattle. Politics was always a prominent conversation in my family who preached to me about the difference between the Democratic Party and the Republican Party from the time I was a young child. In an effort to impress upon me the importance of my vote, my paternal grandfather Pa whom I adored and thought he surely walked on water, had told me before the November election to remember the “Democrats are for the people, and the Republicans are for themselves.” Naturally I voted for the Republican candidates Richard Nixon for President and Spiro Agnew for Vice President.
I made the mistake of telling my dad about my vote, and he was horrified. My entire family considered me a political pariah when Daddy announced my defection at Christmas. As my second presidential election came around in 1972, I began to wish I could take that 1968 vote back, but there it would be forever in infamy – much like the forever infamy of the men I had supported (not counting Elvis).
Therefore, in 1972, I voted for Democratic candidates George McGovern for President and Sargent Shriver for VP. You may not recall these guys because they lost to the incumbents Nixon and Agnew in a red wave that swept the nation. Of course, my dad blamed me for the entire Agnew tax evasion scandal that led to his resignation as VP in 1973 and the Nixon Watergate debacle that led to his exit in 1974. My grandfather couldn’t bring himself to talk about his woe-is-me version of the political landscape at the time. I was off to a shaky start with my voting record.
Here’s the Pop Quiz FUN for Pre-Halloween, Pre-Election Teasers. I will give you the election year and tell you who I voted for. I want you to tell me whether my candidates won or lost? Name their opponents!
1976 I voted for Democratic candidates Jimmy Carter for President and Walter Mondale for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss? Who did they run against?
1980 I voted for Democratic incumbents Jimmy Carter for President and Walter Mondale for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss? Who did they run against?
1984 I voted for Democratic candidates Walter Mondale for President and Geraldine Ferraro for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss? Who did they run against?
1988 I voted for Democratic candidates Michael Dukakis for President and Lloyd Bentsen for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss for me? Who did they run against?
1992 I voted for Democratic candidates William J. Clinton for President and Albert Gore, Jr. for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss for me? Who did they run against?
1996 I voted for Democratic incumbents William J. Clinton for President and Albert Gore, Jr. for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss for me? Who did they run against?
2000 I voted for Democratic candidates Albert Gore, Jr. for President and Joseph Lieberman for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss for me? Who did they run against?
2004 I voted for Democratic candidate John Kerry for President and John Edwards for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss for me? Who did they run against?
2008 I voted for Democratic candidate Barack Obama for President and Joe Biden for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss for me? Who did they run against?
2012 I voted for Democratic incumbents Barack Obama for President and Joe Biden for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss for me? Who did they run against?
2016 I voted for Democratic candidates Hillary Clinton for President and Tim Kaine for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss for me? Who did they run against?
2020 I voted for Democratic candidates Joe Biden for President and Kamala Harris for VP. Was that a Win or a Loss for me? Who did they run against?
Today I voted for Democratic candidates Kamala Harris for President and Tim Walz for VP. A former Republican President (spoiler alert) was running against them for President with Senator JD Vance the Veep on the Republican ticket. Stay tuned for the results which will be determined in the next few weeks.
My feelings about the 2024 election results are currently 50-50 and are not skewed by polls, pundits, predictors, or pandemonium. If you kept score of my record, you will see that I have seven wins and seven losses. When I tallied my historical voting record, I was struck by the irony of having a tie for wins and losses over 56 years. What are the odds? I’d guess 50-50.
Donald Trump is a 78-year-old man whose memory is much like mine because I’m also 78 years old and therein lies the first and only trait I share with the former president who is a convicted felon. I know for 100% certainty I shouldn’t be President of the United States. I can’t remember what I just had for breakfast this morning, and Donald Trump can’t remember slamming Detroit when he was in Detroit.
And yet, guys, you overwhelmingly support him. I think I know why, and it’s not what you usually say when asked about your potential vote.
“We need a strong leader” is code for women can’t be strong leaders.
“Trump will make our borders more secure” is code for “illegal aliens” are taking our jobs.
“Crime is out of control” is code for Harris is weak on criminals.
And on and on.
Psst. Here’s my theory for why men aren’t supporting Kamala Harris. Vice President Harris is a mixed-race woman, a female who doesn’t know her place.
Think about it. Why else would men want to vote for an old man who struggles to know what day it is – much less can tell you what NATO stands for.
That’s my secret, and I’m sticking with it. But I hope I’m wrong. Come on, man. Please. Think outside the Trump box.
I'll Call It Like I See It 
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