Category: Random

  • disaster strikes Carport Kitty

    disaster strikes Carport Kitty


    The routine Carport Kitty has trained me for begins with her breakfast every morning. The time varies, depending on when she decides to welcome the new day. She seems to rely on the ridiculous barking of our three dogs who have the advantage of being inside and, therefore, closer to the food source. That hullabaloo usually takes place shortly before 8 o’clock.

    When the dogs eat, the barking mercifully stops and I look through the glass window in the kitchen door to check on Carport Kitty who typically exits her heating pad throne in the laundry room, stretches, stretches some more and sits next to her food bowl as if to say, what’s for breakfast today O Fickle Food Provider. Don’t forget the Fancy Feast.

    Any change in routine makes me nervous. And I mean any change in routine so when Carport Kitty didn’t make her customary appearance one morning last week, I was wigged. What could have happened? Where could she be?

    Oh no, I cried when I went into the laundry room to check on her! (Cleaned up language for cyberspace.)

    I picked up four pieces that had been one of Pretty’s heavy wooden rolling pins she kept on the top shelf of the laundry. The pieces were scattered near Carport Kitty’s throne. OMG, I panicked. What if one had hit CK in the head and knocked her senseless?? What if she had wandered into the street, gotten hit by a car and couldn’t make her way home? What if the accident happened during the night before and, again knocked senseless, she became easy pray for a coyote eager to gobble her up?

    That coyote thing was over the top, I thought. We had never seen a coyote anywhere in our neighborhood. I had to dial it back before I rushed inside to wake Pretty with the news. Pretty somehow slept through the early morning routine every day, but when a Major Disaster strikes, Pretty is your voice of reason.

    She and I made a thorough search of the area around our house and yard, and Pretty tried to calm my nerves by saying Carport Kitty was probably fine. She could miss breakfast but would be back later for her afternoon snack. I wasn’t overly optimistic but tried to look less worried when Pretty left for work a little while later.

    Almost immediately my phone rang with Pretty’s special ring. She had spotted Carport Kitty two houses up from us in Neighbor John’s driveway. Neighbor John was the carport she frequented before she came to ours so of course she would go there when the sky was falling in. I was beyond relieved. Bless her heart, I thought. I would have a special snack for her when she got hungry if she somehow managed to come back to us.

    I began a vigil to wait for our poor pitiful pussy.

    WTF?

    When I was finally rewarded with her joyful return that afternoon at snack time, this was the look she gave me. More disdain than delight.

    She didn’t return to the pantry for two days but then cold windy weather hit the sunny South. Carport Kitty was home – and warm.

  • call it like I see it? heck no! today I call it like we’d rather hear it

    call it like I see it? heck no! today I call it like we’d rather hear it


    Covid is over – no need to ever wear a mask again. Anywhere. All gone. If you see someone wearing a mask these days, like at the grocery store or ball game or again, anywhere, that person is a wild-eyed raving liberal who never voted for Donald Trump for president in America or Russia.

    Vladimir Putin has no evil intentions toward Ukraine or any other country really. Instead, he has strong leadership in Russia where he is adored by 71% of the Russian people and by Donald Trump who always knows a good deal when he sees it. Putin’s army of 200,000+ surrounding Ukraine should not be considered excessive forces, and their march toward taking over a third nuclear plant in that country is to protect the people in Ukraine from blowing up themselves along with NATO allies and the European Union. Besides, Americans don’t need to worry about what goes on over there.

    Joe Biden should have left well enough alone without trying to support his vision of democracy. The good tourists who walked through the US Capitol on January 6th. 2021 were simply tring to prevent a peaceful transfer of power since Biden had been elected in an unfair election. And now look where we are because of him. Back in bed with NATO supporting a small country with a president named Zelenskyy whose name we can’t even spell, much less pronounce, because he won’t do the right thing and surrender to Putin before his country is blown to smithereens. Putin just wants to get back what belongs to him and his oligarchs who insist their yachts were legitimately obtained.

    And don’t even get me started about the gasoline prices.

    ************

    Oh, wow. That was fun. Who knew misinformation or disinformation could be entertaining. To quote Pretty this morning, I’m depressed by having my news ruined by the truth – which inspired me to forget truthtelling for a day to write fiction we’d rather hear. Sigh.

    Please stay tuned – truth is stranger than fiction.

  • once upon a time there was a calico cat

    once upon a time there was a calico cat


    Once upon a time there was a thin elderly calico cat with a limp that showed up in the carport of Pretty and her wife who lived on Cardinal Drive. Pretty could never resist a stray cat, neglected dog or random unhappy person so the calico cat was the beneficiary of Pretty’s rescue efforts that began with a water bowl in the carport followed several days later by the addition of a food bowl which required a team to then keep up with fresh water in the water bowl and inexpensive dry pellets in the food bowl which over time became Fancy Feast delicacies – preferably chicken and liver. No fish, please. Seriously?

    Since I keep home fires burning while Pretty manages her antique empire, I begrudgingly became a member of the Calico Cat Rescue Team. Full disclosure: I have never been a cat person. There are dog people, and there are cat people, and sometimes they combine forces in the same lesbian household but I had an unsatisfactory experience with that combination 38 years ago so I wasn’t interested in another combo attempt. Hm…

    Plus, I have a doctor’s excuse for cat allergies.

    However, none of this is relevant to the Calico Cat Rescue Team because here we are six weeks later having a team meeting on a night of heavy rainfall mixed with sporadic lightning and thunder, but the team members aren’t worried about the calico cat named Carport Kitty.

    Carport Kitty is safe and dry in her new condo

    (A word of special recognition to Annie of Animal Couriers who predicted this next step for our team. Girl, you saw this coming all the way across the Pond in France. Ha.)

    The cast of characters for the Cardinal Drive Carport Cat Community now includes the villain Bully Cat and the sneaky Yellow Cat known also as the Orange Tabby who continue to drop in every day to share Carport Kitty’s leftovers, but no one dares approach her highness in her new castle.

    Once upon a time Pretty rescued a calico cat that both members of her team love.

    Pardon me while I go take a Zyrtec.

    ***************

    Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated, and please stay tuned.

  • all cat adventures point to Pretty

    all cat adventures point to Pretty


    If the Jeopardy question was who loves to rescue people, animals, random family castaway treasures – the correct answer would be who is Pretty?

    If the Jeopardy question was what particular super Cat Sleuth solved the mystery of the Bully Cat’s permanent stomping grounds weeks ago – the correct answer would be who is Pretty?

    Bully Cat’s crib – one block south of our house

    Yes, Pretty observed with her cat detective skills several weeks ago that we have neighbors a block down the street from our house (the opposite direction of Neighbor John’s cat condo) who regularly leave their garage door open at night…just enough for a cat to scoot under. She suggested that cat might be Bully Cat since I mentioned I saw him occasionally in the vicinity of the open garage door on my morning walks. Aha.

    Today I spied Bully Cat hustling toward the garage door

    My last view of BC was his tail as he made himself little to slide under it.

    However, 15 minutes later when I finished my walk he mysteriously appeared in front of our house, gave me a wary stare and then looked longingly toward our carport – perhaps for Carport Kitty who never materialized.

    Bully Cat was exploring my yard trash today

    where in the world is Carport Kitty?

    Not to worry. Although CK was nowhere to be seen when we came home from babysitting late this afternoon, Pretty called to me from the kitchen a few minutes later with the welcome words the cat is out here looking for you and her supper. I sprang into full meal preparation mode with her Fancy Feast chicken pate plus a generous helping of Meow Mix pellets. Yummy. She allowed a brief pet as I placed the bowl in front of her. Sigh.

    I stood guard to protect her from undesirable interference from either Bully Cat or Yellow Cat now revealed to be the Orange Tabby.

    Seriously. I stood outside in the cold carport guarding a cat’s dining experience for what seemed to be an interminable amount of time. My dogs eat their meals in 30 seconds, but this cat made a career of her dinner.

    As for Pretty, she was safe and warm inside catching up on her Tweets, getting ready for tonight’s Jeopardy, perhaps plotting her next rescues. Thank goodness she rescued me.

    *************

    Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated and please stay tuned.

  • was Fats Domino in love with a cat?

    was Fats Domino in love with a cat?


    I’m walkin’, yes indeed
    And I’m talkin’ about you and me
    I’m hopin’ that you’ll come back to me, yeah

    (lyrics from I’m Walkin by Dave Bartholomew/Antoine Domino)

    Carport Kitty spied on morning walk today

    under Neighbor John’s truck

    Carport Kitty has been a no show in our carport for the past couple of days which is always worrisome for the Alarmist in me, but this morning I saw her in one of her favorite spots under Neighbor John’s truck. Neighbor John is the creator of the cat bed and breakfast where stray cats spend the night during cold weather – I am always happy to see CK in John’s driveway as I walk past even though she rarely acknowledges my overtures of good will.

    In the interim, whether sent as an ambassador by Carport Kitty or just another entrepreneur looking for food, this cat visited yesterday afternoon at CK’s feeding time.

    yellow cat

    I made this mistake.

    not a full meal, mind you – not Fancy Feast – just snack

    Later in the afternoon Bully Cat and a small black cat were seen running for cover out of our carport when Pretty and I opened the kitchen door to leave for the Gamecock women’s basketball game last night. (We crushed Kansas State to remain undefeated.)

    But why is Carport Kitty so fickle?

    I’m lonely as I can be
    I’m waiting for your company
    I’m hoping that you’ll come back to me
    .

    Okay, Antoine better known to me as Fats, you must have been in love with a stray cat. I totally get it.

    Carport Kitty

    **************

    Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated and please stay tuned.