Somewhere Over the Rainbow

“Hey, Dorothy? What’s up?”

“I’m off to see the Man in the White House because I’m lost and can’t find my Auntie Michele,” said Dorothy. “Do I know you?”

“Yeah, you know me. I’m Silas Crow. I sit on the back row of your English class and make strange noises.”

“Oh, of course. The notorious Silas Crow. You don’t have a brain in your head,” said Dorothy.

“I know, I know. That’s what I’ve been told. Do you think the Man in the White House could give me a brain?” asked Silas Crow.

“Tra-la, tra-la. You are welcome to come with me and find out. The Man in the White House is supposed to be very wise.”

Dorothy and Silas Crow began to walk together. They walked and walked.

“Hey, Dudes, take a hike. Get outta my space. Where you going?”

“We’re off to see the Man in the White House,” replied Silas Crow. “Dorothy told me the Man was very wise and could give me a brain.”

“Oh, she did, did she? Well, this is where you little numskulls took a wrong turn,” growled Tim Mann who took a menacing step toward Dorothy and Silas Crow.

Dorothy looked straight at Tim Mann and said, “Looks like someone has no heart. Shame on you for being so mean. Silas Crow may not be very bright, but at least he’s not a bully like you. If you go with us, maybe the Man in the White House could give you a heart.”

Silas Crow nodded vigorously. “You need an attitude adjustment, Dude.”

Tim Mann rolled his eyes but then studied the two standing before him.  Finally, he shook his head and thought, maybe I need new friends.

“Let’s roll before I change my mind,” he snapped.

“Tra-la, tra-la,” said Dorothy. “We are off to see the Man in the White House who is supposed to have a very big heart.”

By and by the trio came upon a very large grey dog with huge floppy ears. He was sitting in the middle of their path, staring at them out of one blue eye and one brown one. He looked quite ferocious. Dorothy, Silas Crow and Tim Mann stopped in their tracks.

Dorothy was the first to regain her composure and whistled for the dog to come to her. The dog bolted in the opposite direction.

“Fraidy Dog, Fraidy Dog,” mocked Tim Mann who had no heart.

Silas Crow joined in the chant because he had no brain.

Dorothy gave them an icy stare and called after the frightened animal, “Please come back and go with us. We are going to see the Man in the White House – maybe he could give you courage.”

As the group turned to resume their journey, the cowardly dog followed a few paces behind.

“Tra-la, tra-la,” sang Dorothy happily. “We are off to see the brave, kind, wise Man in the White House who will give Fraidy Dog courage, Tim Mann a new heart, Silas Crow a new brain and me a map to find my way home to Auntie Michele.”

The little foursome traveled far and wide, thither and yon, until finally one day they reached the White House. Much to everyone’s surprise, the White House was surrounded by a very high fence and armed guards at the gate. Silas Crow, Tim Mann, and Fraidy Dog looked at Dorothy.

Not to be outdone, Dorothy boldly approached one of the guards and asked, “Excuse me, kind sir, but we have come a long way to speak with the Man in the White House. Do you know where he is?”

The guard shrugged and said, “You might try MahRahLahgo.”

Dorothy woke up.


About Sheila Morris

Sheila Morris is a personal historian, essayist with humorist tendencies, lesbian activist, truth seeker and speaker in the tradition of other female Texas storytellers including her paternal grandmother. In December, 2017, the University of South Carolina Press published her collection of first-person accounts of a few of the people primarily responsible for the development of LGBTQ organizations in South Carolina. Southern Perspectives on the Queer Movement: Committed to Home will resonate with everyone interested in LGBTQ history in the South during the tumultuous times from the AIDS pandemic to marriage equality. She has published five nonfiction books including two memoirs, an essay compilation and two collections of her favorite blogs from I'll Call It Like I See It. Her first book, Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing received a Golden Crown Literary Society Award in 2008. Her writings have been included in various anthologies - most recently the 2017 Saints and Sinners Literary Magazine. Her latest book, Four Ticket Ride, was released in January, 2019. She is a displaced Texan living in South Carolina with her wife Teresa Williams and their dogs Spike, Charly and Carl. She is also Naynay to her two granddaughters Ella and Molly James who light up her life for real. Born in rural Grimes County, Texas in 1946 her Texas roots still run wide and deep.
This entry was posted in Humor, Random and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Somewhere Over the Rainbow

  1. Don’t suppose waking up helped Dorothy much.

    Liked by 3 people

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