the desperate place

This is the language that speaks to you in the desperate place. A place from which you lack the means or power to escape. A place in which you realize that someone you love does not, and will not ever, love you back. A place in which you acknowledge your steep falling off in health, or strength, or status. A place in which you must accept that you are losing ground, losing face. (Gail Godwin)

Godwin writes in her book Getting to Know Death she has experienced “the desperate place” four times in her 70+ years. Hmm. She must not have called the ABC customer service line recently. Heck, I was in the desperate place more than four times this afternoon when I called to try to lower my monthly bill.

I spoke to a computerized voice that chastised me for not using their website. I want to speak to a person, I insisted, but I don’t think you’re the one. I want a REAL person, I said several times and then agreed to let them call me at their convenience since the wait time was thirty minutes. Desperate place #1. I lacked the power to escape.

Twenty-five minutes later another computerized voice called to say someone would talk to me in a few minutes when they were available. Desperate place #2. Wasn’t that why I was getting called back? Because there was a live person about to talk to me. I had to face the fact I was losing ground here.

Several minutes passed before a cheerful woman, clearly real, asked me again why I was calling and how could she help. After reviewing my credentials which had previously been recorded by the computerized voice, she asked me what I liked to watch on TV. I gave her a quick rundown of Pretty’s and my favorites. I made sure to mention the Tennis Channel and ESPN since the Australian Open is on. She suggested I bundle my phone with my internet and TV. Desperate place #3. I was quickly in a steep decline of status with this woman, confident she would never love me. She recommended I speak with the Loyalty Program for discounts.

Oh, the Loyalty Program discount person isn’t in this department – I’ll have to transfer you to them, the woman who would never love me said. Lengthy wait on hold again before being connected to another woman who was not only cheerful but also had a soothing voice. She wanted to know what she could do for me today. Desperate place #4. Seriously? You don’t know why I’m calling? I was losing face big time.

The Loyalty Program discount person managed to shave $25 from my monthly bill but recommended bundling my cell phone with my internet and TV. Sound familiar? Desperate place #5. I apparently lacked the means or power to escape unless I acquiesced to look into the joys of bundling which I said I would do.

Although I have poked fun today at Godwin’s desperate place, I understand what she intended and imagine everyone has been to those places when our losses overwhelm us, when we lack the means or power to escape the pain, when the person we love will never love us back, when our health and strength decline, and when we feel the ground slipping away.

My wish for everyone in 2025 is the desperate places are far and few between, as my cousin Martin used to say.

Thank you for hanging with us for another year.