I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

Category: Humor

  • Father Goose Rhymes I Just Made Up


     

    (Image theartofchildrenspicturebooks.blogspot.com.)

    There was in old woman who lived in a shoe.

    She had so many children she didn’t know what to do.

    She gave them some broth without any bread,

    Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

    Mother Goose Nursery Rhyme – circa 1794

    There was an old man who lived in a White House.

    He had so many children who stayed in the dog house.

    He gave them some jobs that they couldn’t do,

    Then tweeted and tweeted to raise a hullabaloo.

    Father Goose Nursery Rhymes – 2017

    Okay, okay. So I’m no Mother Goose and my rhyming dictionary has a few weaknesses, but I woke up this morning thinking about the old woman in the shoe with the children woes. The little jingle sounded all too familiar these days, and it was downhill from there.

    Well, I woke up this mornin’ , Mother Goose on my mi-i-i-i-nd.

    Enough already. Somebody stop me.

    Tomorrow is another day – maybe I’ll wake up thinking more profound thoughts. Keep hope alive for that, will you?

    Stay tuned.

     

     

  • Manic Monday at WIMBLEDON Tomorrow – Feel the Magic!


    Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive…it’s a train, it’s a plane, it’s Super Manic Monday at Wimbledon tomorrow and my head will be spinning like one of those old antique tops that we recently sold at our spectacular yard sale for Casa de Canterbury this weekend.

    Roger Federer in 2012 following his win

    Daddy WON Wimbledon again! Thank you, thank you

    (one of Roger’s twin daughters at the match in 2012)

    I lost at Wimbledon again – why me, o Lord, why me?

    (Andy Murray was the runner-up in 2012)

    The Red Man in the bleacher seats at

    Casa de Canterbury during Wimbledon in 2012

    (The Red Man was a serious Tennis Addict)

    Paw Licker Annie entertained herself in 2012…

    (she much preferred licking her paw to tennis)

    Spike’s first Wimbledon experience – 

    he didn’t quite catch the thrill in 2012

    Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic in

    2014 Wimbledon Final

    Daddy lost Wimbledon…oh, no

    Rafael Nadal leaving Wimbledon in 2014

    (win or lose, Nadal likes to stay fresh)

    Nadal, Federer, Djokovic and Murray a/k/a the Big Four will be flailing away at yellow tennis balls again tomorrow at the All England Club at Wimbledon in the round of 16 players still standing in both the men’s and women’s draws after the first week of tournament play. The ESPN commentators have dubbed this day Manic Monday because it is the final time both the men and women will be playing on the same day on the grass courts of the 2017 tournament.

    With the yard sale in her rear-view mirror, Pretty will be up with me to catch the Magic Marathon that is the beginning of the second week of one of the 4 Major tennis tournaments of 2017. Roger Federer  won the Australian Open earlier this year, and Rafa Nadal won his record-setting 10th. French Open title a few weeks ago.  His 10th. French Open. Truly awesome.

    These guys are “oldies but goodies” as my friend Robin Lee says whenever she sees me.

    That’s how I feel about the men and women who continue to loom large in international competition even as they pass the 30-year-old hurdle that used to be the sign of the end of times for tennis players. Good for them. They crash their own glass ceilings every time they step on Centre Court. And we haven’t even mentioned the legendary Venus Williams who is playing in her 20th Wimbledon at the ripe young age of 37. You go, girl.

    Spike has grown fonder of tennis in the past 5 years and will watch Wimbledon with Pretty and Charly and me in our new bleacher seats at Casita de Cardinal this week. We have to hope The Red Man and Paw Licker Annie will have the best seats in their home away from home, too. Red will pull for Roger with Pretty, and Annie, well, she will keep her preferences to herself.

    Spike and I both love Nadal whether he has a shirt on or not. Vamos!!

    Enjoy a fantastic week of tennis if you are a fan and have access to sports channels on your TV.

    Thanks for staying tuned.

  • and on a lighter note, happy fourth, America


    As the fireworks boom and crackle around me in our new neighborhood tonight, I have a few parting shots myself from a day of family, friends and fun in our new home. These are the good ol’ days…trust me on that one.

    Six-year-old Finn was the first to hit the pool –

    and almost the last to leave it

    Finn, Number One Son, Pretty Twos

    Pretty’s Dad Walker and Finn’s Dad Dave

    The only thing better than being on top of the water…

    not now, Charly

    he said whaaat about Mika?

    let me just say one more thing, Walker

    Pretty Twos had to leave early to go

    to their mother’s festivities

    Sis’s friend Tim from Asheville

    Number One Son all grown up

    the gospel according to Sheila Go

    Finn’s mom and dad…awww…sweet

    (Some of our best friends are straight people)

    Sis in the sun

    old woman Slow in the shade…

    pawpaw, sometimes I think you’re the only one

    with any sense

    Brother-in- law Jim

    Tiny yellow ball and paddles

    grand pool entertainment

    never mind the score – that smile is always the winner

    I can’t be getting sleepy

    barbecue, watermelon, a pool – 

    does it get any better than this

    I asked Finn if he knew why we celebrated July 4th.

    America made a nation that day, he said.

    I couldn’t put it better myself.

    All of us at Casita de Cardinal send our best wishes to all of our amigas and amigos in cyberspace for a festive Fourth and fabulous summer.

    Stay tuned.

     

     

     

     

  • WONDROUS WOMAN!


    Pretty and I went to the movies last night with our Yankee Quartet friends (2 from New York and 2 from Boston) to see Wonder Woman. Pretty was exhausted from her ongoing hard work clearing out Casa de Canterbury where she labors daily with her own personal Energizer Bunny Shelley. I tore myself away from the French Open coverage on the Tennis Channel which was not easy for me, but a date night with Pretty is always worth any sacrifice.

    Hello, my name is Sheila, and I’m a tennis television addict.

    I know, I know. Why are you watching tennis on TV while Pretty labors away at Casa de Canterbury? Simply put, I am a liability for that endeavor, but I excel in dog-sitting Spike and Charly who also prefer tennis to toil. Go figure.

    Thank goodness Pretty and I both wanted to see Wonder Woman. We really had such a fun time from start to finish. First of all, we saw several friends we rarely see while we were standing in line waiting to buy popcorn. The line was the length of a freight train on the railroad tracks as the signal clangs and the red lights blink during the interminable wait behind the wooden barriers that guard the railroad crossing. We had so much time waiting for popcorn we were able to catch up on the life of a seventeen-year-old friend’s daughter who was just graduating from high school and about to go to college. The last time we had heard anything about her she was eleven.

    Seriously, movie theater management people, you really need more than one person selling popcorn when Wonder Woman is one of your featured films – even on a Tuesday night. Pretty gave up when we were soooooo close to the concession counter and joined our friends for the previews. Luckily, one of our Boston buddies stayed with me for the duration and we spent an outrageous amount of money together for popcorn and sodas. Don’t even get me started on concession stand prices at the movies. Like I could truly say I remember when popcorn was 25 cents and cokes were a dime…but nobody cares or even wants to be reminded of the economic issues surrounding inflation on an innocent night of fun and frivolity.

    Turns out the expensive popcorn was delicious, and the movie itself was more than entertaining. Gal Gadot embodied the female super-hero Wonder Woman I remembered from my comic book days of secretive reading at Mr. McAfee’s drug store in my home town of Richards, Texas in the 1950s as well as the Lynda Carter Wonder Woman on TV I was in love with  in the 1970s. As the story came to life for me again on the big screen last night, I totally enjoyed the action packed images of this famous female super-hero directed by another woman, Patty Jenkins. If I were a movie reviewer, I would give this one 5 stars.

    Pretty and our other friends also enjoyed the heroics, but I did notice Pretty yawning several times and poked her to let her know she was being watched. I knew she was tired, tired, tired, though; and WW was a long film. Not as long as the popcorn line, of course.

    As the last credits scrolled down the screen after the final dramatic conclusion of the movie, we waited to see the names of the various actresses we recognized from other shows. Pretty never leaves a theater until the final credits are shown, even when she’s exhausted. That’s how she rolls in movies.

    We said our goodbyes to the Yankee Quartet in the parking lot with promises to get together again soon.

    On the way home, we talked about the movie, the popcorn line, the friends we hadn’t seen in forever. I asked Pretty what the father of the seventeen-year-old girl taught at the University of South Carolina. She replied, He’s a history professor who is an LBJ specialist.

    I was incredulous at the idea of someone making a living teaching about Lyndon Baines Johnson. That sounded so appealing to me for some reason.

    Gosh, I said, this is another example of choices I never knew I had for a career when I became an accountant fifty years ago. What would you like to have been, Pretty?

    Wonder Woman, Pretty said. And I laughed.

    That’s one of the things I love about Pretty. She dreams big.

    P.S. June is traditionally Pride Month, although it isn’t officially recognized by the current administration in Washington, D.C. this year. Hug an lgbtq person this month with the love Wonder Woman believed in for everyone. Happy Pride!

  • Charly’s First Anniversary


    Imagine my surprise when Pretty called me this afternoon to tell me today was the one-year anniversary of our adoption of Charly from pawmetto lifeline, the place that had rescued the little dog from the kill shelter here in Columbia when her family of origin turned her in with a bad case of heart worms and an equally bad case of pregnancy. She had 11 puppies a year ago, and the eight who survived had already been adopted by forever homes when we met her. Charly a/k/a Dawn to her friends at pawmetto lifeline, hadn’t been so fortunate.

    I couldn’t believe it’s been a year since we adopted her…

    The blinds incident on Day 1 at Casa de Canterbury

    (separation anxiety was a bit of a problem at first)

    But look at her now! She runs this place – literally.

    she’ll be comin’ round the mountain – wheeeee!

    (at warp speed)

    hey, dude – shake a leg

    Spike had been bereft after losing the final members of his pack last spring, but his pace has picked up with Charly in the house.

    Charly has been a delight and joy for our family in the past year – she brings a little something extra to the mix. We are the better for her spark in our family dynamics – and we like to think we’ve given her an extra helping of love in return. It’s a win-win situation.

    I just love it when a plan comes together.