I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

Category: Random

  • Pretty’s advice to her younger self

    Pretty’s advice to her younger self


    “If you could go back to that 34 year old attorney from Vermont beginning the first of 48 years as a United States Senator, would you have any advice for him?” asked Robert Costa during his CBS Sunday Morning interview with retiring Senator Patrick Leahy who at 82 years old is the fourth longest serving person in the Senate.

    Senator Leahy responded something about telling the young man nothing was impossible if you persevered, dream big, be your best self – you get the idea. Inspirational. Conventional wisdom from a seasoned New Englander who was the first of his family to graduate from college way back when.

    Of course Pretty and I were watching the interview together this morning – it’s a tradition she introduced to me when we first got together more than twenty years ago – at the same time she introduced me to Sex and the City (the TV show). CBS Sunday Morning at 9 o’clock – Sex and the City on Sunday nights.

    During the next commercial break I turned to Pretty and asked her if she had any advice for her 30 year old self. Without skipping a beat she replied:

    “Exercise more. Eat less. Save money.” I burst out laughing, shaking my head in disbelief.

    “I don’t know how you could have exercised any more, ” I said to her back as she walked toward the kitchen. “You’ve played tennis your entire adult life, you do manual labor in the antique empire every day we aren’t chasing after a toddler granddaughter who has the energy of a bunny battery – I’m saying you’ve definitely done your share of exercise through the years.”

    “Yeah, that’s right,” she said from the kitchen where she fixed a big bowl of grits and three pieces of Sunbeam King Thin enriched bread toast (with lots of butter) for her breakfast.

    “What about you?” she asked as she sat down with her food. “What would you say to your 30 year old self?”

    “Stay away from married women,” I answered. Pretty laughed and nodded.

    Thank goodness the commercial break was over before we got to saving money.

  • kids say the darndest things (part 2)…

    kids say the darndest things (part 2)…


    For example, this conversation took place between Naynay (the name my granddaughter gave me) and our almost three year old granddaughter Ella near the end of a two hour ride in the Grannymobile on our way this past May to the upstate for a few days in the Blue Ridge mountains of North Carolina just above the South Carolina state line. Ella had slept most of the trip, was waking up from her afternoon nap.

    I began to talk to her about the beautiful mountains we were going to see, about our responsibility to protect them when we visited, to make sure we always put our trash in the trash cans and never littered. I told her our generation had made a mess of the environment – that I hoped she and Molly would do better…she had listened intently I thought when all of a sudden she rolled her eyes (a la Pretty) and said “Oh Naynay, you make me sooo tired.”

    Sigh. How many other people feel that same way – but are too polite to tell me. I shudder to think.

    Before our granddaughters were born Pretty and I vowed to not be the stereotypical grandmothers who talked about their grandchildren incessantly, who always had a cute story about what one of them had said or done. We have failed miserably. Ask any of our friends or family we talk to on a regular basis, and they will be happy to tell you that no conversation takes place with us anymore unless there is a story about one or both of our granddaughters.

    Periodically I cannot resist the urge to share their wit and wisdom with our cyberspace friends and family. Pardon me for this interruption of my usual heavier topics. The world indeed weighs heavily on me these days, but thank goodness for the joy I find in our granddaughters. Ella will be three years old on October 1st; Molly was born on January 26th of this year.

    We recently kept the girls for two days and nights while their mom and dad went down to the beach for a long weekend. Our babysitting started on a Friday and we worked very hard to entertain them with indoor activities on Friday afternoon plus pool time for Ella on Saturday with Pretty while I kept Molly inside to watch tennis with me. Saturday at noon I asked Ella if she wanted to talk to her mother on the phone. She nodded so I dialed Caroline. The following telephone call took place.

    Caroline: How is it going with the Nanas, Ella?

    Ella: We’re having a good time. When can you pick us up?

    Pretty and I burst out laughing together.

    That Saturday afternoon I took Ella on a little walk up our street in front of the house. She seemed to be having a good time – there were a few puddles in the road from the rains the night before – and she was eager to splash in them. After a few minutes of splashing Ella stepped out of the puddle and turned toward the direction we had just come from. “Naynay, do you know where our house is?” she asked with anxiety. “Yes, Sweet, that’s one thing I’m confident we can find.”

    I’ll close with this one that took place yesterday. Pretty usually goes to Ella’s camp classroom to pick her up in the afternoons while I stay in the Grannymobile with Molly. Yesterday I told Pretty I wanted to surprise Ella and pick her up myself. Of course, Pretty was happy for me to go but repeated the instructions for reaching the classroom several times to make sure I could negotiate the entrance process. No problem.

    I found the classroom without a hitch, and Ella ran smiling to me when she saw me in the doorway. The teacher helped us get Ella’s snack, her lunch bag, and her water. All was well as I held her hand walking down the hallway until she stopped, looked up at me and said suspiciously “Naynay, how did you get in the building?”

    Good question. I told her she’d have to ask Pretty.

    ****************

    Bonus pictures from Caroline’s Facebook.

    Ella gets first haircut (June, 2022)

    Molly and big sister Ella on Father’s Day (June, 2022)

    ******************

    Slavia Ukraini. For the children.

  • The In-Between Years

    The In-Between Years


    This post was originally made on December 31, 2012 – many of you might have missed it, and others will be reminded perhaps of what you were feeling on that New Year’s Eve ten years ago when you read it for the first time.

    Through the good or lean years and for all the in-between years is a line from a Frank Sinatra classic All The Way. As I lay 2012 to rest for a final countdown before the ball drops in Times Square in New York City tonight, I ask myself to rate the year as good, lean or in-between. Understand this is a subjective, biased, prejudiced and totally personal evaluation. It meets none of the standards for any Academy of Anything and as such, is not subject to review by a replay official. I’m not sure if the year passed as quickly for you as it did for me, but I confess mine seemed to pass faster than a falling star so I hope you have a notated calendar to refresh your memories as mine does for me.

    The first day of 2012 I was in Texas and spent New Year’s Day with my mother who lived in a personal care residence with two other older women and the two wonderful sisters who cared for all of them. She was in the severe stage of her dementia and, although I had no way of knowing it on that day, she wouldn’t survive the year;  neither would the other two women who shared the home and enjoyed my New Year’s visit. I’ve always loved women of any age, and these were some of the most entertaining ever.  It was a good start to the new year.

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    Mom

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    Miss Ann

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    Miss Virginia

    Whenever I’m in Texas I always have great visits with my favorite Aunt Lucille who lives in Beaumont, one of my least favorite Texas towns. My aunt will be ninety-three years old in 2013 and is an avid reader and crossword puzzle aficionado. She lives now in an independent living apartment in a retirement community in Beaumont. The nearness of neighbors and a standing dinner group of six women from her building in the late afternoon for dinner suit her social nature, her need to be out and about. Movies? Politics? TV shows? Books? Ask my aunt about any of these and she’s in her element with an attitude toward life that says hey take your best shot at me, but I’m hanging in for as long as I can. In 2012 I saw her more than a dozen times which was more than I’d visited her in one year…ever.  Each visit lifted my spirits and was just plain fun.

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    My favorite Aunt Lucille

    The year confirmed my status as a bi-stateual with extended periods of time in Texas and South Carolina plus keeping the roads hot from here to there and back. My partner Pretty traveled with me whenever she could get away from her job – I managed to coerce other friends to make the trip when she couldn’t go with me and refused to let me drive by myself any more. Even with my “new” eyes from a second cataract surgery in July, my truck bears the dents and dings of my parking misadventures and alas, let’s face it. I have a GPS but occasionally disagree with it, and then I find I am not there when I need me. I am somewhere else.

    Pretty and I did some fun trips during 2012. At the end of February, which is our anniversary month, we drove to Valle Crucis, North Carolina, in the Blue Ridge Mountains for a couple of days of work and play. She worked.  I played.

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    Blue Ridge Mountains, Boone, North Carolina

    Six months later in August we had a family vacation with our son Drew and his girlfriend Caroline. We drove to the northeast to sightsee and spend time together, to try to re-group from the losses earlier in the year. Abraham Lincoln blessed us in Gettysburg and we traveled safely to the shores of Maine, along the coast in Rhode Island, saw beautiful scenery in Pennsylvania and Connecticut. Boston was a hit for many reasons not the least of which was its good food. We counted on Caroline to make sure we ate at the best restaurants according to her online guides.  Iphones were in; Pretty and Drew had dueling GPSs that didn’t always want to go in the same direction. So many gadgets…so much confusion. So much merriment.

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    On my birthday in April I was at the funeral of the woman I knew as a second mother for over forty-five years. She and my mom were as close as sisters. They were both heartbroken when I had to separate them four years ago because they could no longer take care of each other. Willie Flora was eighty-two in March of this past year and my mom was eighty-five that same month. Willie died on April 14th in Richmond, Texas and my mom died eleven days later in Willis. It was sorrow upon sorrow.

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    Willie

    In September my neighbor Heather and I had a shower for another neighbor, Becky, who created additional excitement by announcing that her water broke a couple of hours before the shower was to start. High drama, but we moved the time up, she came and opened her gifts, had a piece of cake and was then whisked away by her husband Gary to the hospital where she gave birth to her third baby boy four hours later. George is growing by leaps and bounds and should be a fine nuisance for his older brothers Oscar and Dwight.

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    Dwight plus Oscar plus cookie jar = Good Times

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    George in his New Baby phase

    In November my third book was published and I was thrilled with how it looked when it came from the printer. I loved the cover and had a sense of accomplishment as I placed it in my office next to my first two books. I hope my cyberspace friends will want to read the final version since you’ve shared a number of the stories with me in the past year right here on this blog. There is freedom in growing older and a sense of entitlement to Call It Like You See It — and even sweeter to see what you’re calling in print

    Good year? Lean year? In-between year? The votes have been tallied by an unreliable CPA (me) and I have to report the in-between has it. Births and deaths mark our beginnings and our endings, but the middle is what keeps our attention. I’ll lay 2012 down tonight and pick up 2013 in the morning. I can’t predict what will happen in the New Year, but I can predict I will struggle to stay awake to ring it in.

    Pretty and I wish all of you a Happy and Healthy New Year!  Thanks for stopping by…

    ***************

    P.S. I would lose my favorite Aunt Lucille in 2013. I think of her often and am grateful for that Texas time with her.

  • anytime, anywhere

    anytime, anywhere


    just another pain to manage, just another tear to cry

    just another pain to manage, just another empty lie

  • Still I Rise by Maya Angelou (1928-2014)

    Still I Rise by Maya Angelou (1928-2014)


    You may write me down in history
    With your bitter, twisted lies,
    You may tread me in the very dirt
    But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

    Does my sassiness upset you?
    Why are you beset with gloom?
    ‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
    Pumping in my living room.

    Just like moons and like suns,
    With the certainty of tides,
    Just like hopes springing high,
    Still I’ll rise.

    Did you want to see me broken?
    Bowed head and lowered eyes?
    Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
    Weakened by my soulful cries.

    Does my haughtiness offend you?
    Don’t you take it awful hard
    ‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
    Diggin’ in my own back yard.

    You may shoot me with your words,
    You may cut me with your eyes,
    You may kill me with your hatefulness,
    But still, like air, I’ll rise.

     

    Does my sexiness upset you?
    Does it come as a surprise
    That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
    At the meeting of my thighs?

    Out of the huts of history’s shame
    I rise
    Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
    I rise
    I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
    Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
    Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
    I rise
    Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
    I rise
    Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
    I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
    I rise
    I rise
    I rise.

    Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/still-i-rise-by-maya-angelou

    And Still I Rise was author Maya Angelou’s third out of five volumes of poetry published in 1978 to mixed reviews for some strange reason known only to reviewers. April is National Poetry Month in the US so I couldn’t miss the opportunity to showcase one of my favorite poets: African American author, civil rights activist, and truth teller Maya Angelou.

    I sprinkled several of my favorite Maya quotes this month on my sidebar beneath the archived posts of I’ll Call It in an effort to share her wisdom that transports her words on wings to our ears and minds if we are willing to listen.

    In 1998 Maya Angelou spoke at the Second Annual Human Rights Campaign National Dinner; her speech that evening focused on the importance of gay people coming out of the closet. 

    You have no idea who you will inform because all of us are caged birds,

    have been and will be again.

    Caged by somebody else’s ignorance.

    Caged because of someone else’s small-mindedness.

    Caged because of someone else’s fear and hate…

    and sometimes caged by our own lack of courage.

    I miss Maya Angelou not only for her words but for her voice when she spoke. The rich, slow – almost ponderous – rhythms of her speech mesmerized me, and the deep rumbling voice was like the sound of my old Dodge Dakota pickup truck’s muffler when I started it first thing in the morning.  Music to my ears.

    Thank you, Luanne Castle (see blogroll), for reminding me to celebrate the rich history and present work of our American poets this month. When I was a child, my daddy enjoyed nothing more than to recite a poem to me – I know he would have loved a National Poetry Month.