I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

For any who want more, complete list of all posts by month since 2011
  • joining the community of lesbian cat lovers

    joining the community of lesbian cat lovers


    Carport Kitty has dropped by around dinner time for the past two late afternoons and I, as Pretty predicted, make sure to rush her food to the carport before she has time to think I have failed her. No sign of Bully Cat. And no sign of Carport Kitty following her Fancy Feast and Meow Mix. She is not one to linger for a visit, but she has at a minimum allowed me to give her a quick rub when I set her food down. This was the extent of our relationship.

    She stopped coming by in the mornings to eat so I assumed Neighbor John must be a bed and breakfast arrangement for the heated condo accommodations. However, I walked past his house on my regular early morning walks with my eyes turned toward John’s driveway just in case Carport Kitty might be up and about for a stretch in the sun. I hadn’t seen her at his house for a while until this morning.

    There she was sitting in Neighbor John’s driveway

    I stopped to chat but kept my distance in the street. How were things working out for her in the heated condo? Did she like her friends who roomed with her at night? How was the breakfast and by the way, I have delicious Fancy Feast at our carport this morning if you’re interested. Otherwise, I will see you for dinner.

    Carport Kitty running toward me

    To my astonishment I felt movement behind me, turned, and saw Carport Kitty actually trotting behind me like one of my dogs would do. Evidently mentioning the food made an impression.

    The next thing I heard was the sound of garbage trucks rumbling down the street behind me, and I thought (being the Alarmist Pretty thinks I am) of the irony in the story I would tell of how I was welcomed with my newly minted membership in the Cats for Lesbians Club only to have that membership revoked because Carport Kitty had been killed by men who didn’t care about animals.

    The men did care, though, and slowed their gigantic commercial vehicles as Carport Kitty leaped in front of me and raced up our driveway. I moved as fast as I could to get her breakfast. Close call.

    As CK dined, I noticed from my kitchen spying post she ate quickly, glancing around like something bothered her. I fed the dogs, then went back to check on her only to find Bully Cat having a go at the food. First of all, I think I showed improvment in my cattitude by not opening the door with hysterical obscenities. No, no, no.

    I opened the door which caused the Bully Cat to retreat to our garbage cans – not a full retreat – but not disrespectful. I appreciated that and simply said you have to go away because Carport Kitty needs me more than you do. (Maybe I waved my arms a little with a Shoo or two.)

    Bully Cat did retreat across the street, Carport Kitty finished her breakfast. My membership in the community of lesbian cat lovers is temporarily secure.

    **********

    Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated and please stay tuned.

  • the return of the cat formerly known as Lilibets

    the return of the cat formerly known as Lilibets


    Following the incidence with the Bully Cat in our carport three weeks ago, and perhaps coincidentally with much cooler weather, sightings of Lilibets went dark. That is to say, as quickly as the stray cat made us her new best friends, she vanished. Pretty and I became alarmed when she didn’t make her normal breakfast and dinner times but assumed she must be “wintering” at Neighbor John’s house in the heated condo he provided. Perhaps he now served Fancy Feast, too. I skulked outside John’s house so many times looking for a glimpse of the cat I was afraid I might be mistaken for stalking. (Skulking a lot is not the same as stalking.)

    Being the Alarmist that Pretty knows and calls me, I began to imagine the cat had been mauled by the Bully Cat, lay meowing for help, dialing 911, being run over in the road because that is how an Alarmist’s imagination works…until…

    Last week I passed Neighbor John’s house on my regular morning walk and who should I see sitting as big as you please in the sun in his driveway but our cat Lilibets. Naturally, I began to speak to her, to tell her we missed her, wouldn’t she like to drop by for a meal every once in a while. She looked at me with utter disdain, as if I had been a complete stranger making a fool of myself. I picked up the fragile pieces of my heart and walked home.

    When I relayed this story to Pretty, she said Okay, this cat is officially all yours. When I protested, she said no, no – all yours.

    This morning was a glorious fall day for my walk.

    Coming down Cardinal this morning

    Passing by Neighbor John’s house, I gave my usual check for Lilibets, and what do you think I saw?

    Lilibets herself under Neighbor John’s truck in his driveway!

    Again I called to her, said how happy I was to see her, how had she been? Nothing. I was apparently dead to her. Somewhat sadly I walked the few houses down to our driveway where I saw her water and food bowls Pretty had bought for her when she named her Lilibets.

    I saw Neighbor John’s truck go past as I walked up the kitchen steps and waved to him. He didn’t wave back.

    Then I went inside to do the regular feedings for Spike, Charly and Carl but came back outside a few minutes later only to spy her royal highness Lilibets.

    I wasted no time in preparing her favorite meal.

    she wasted no time in eating it

    Such a happy ending for an Alarmist. Who knows when my cat will return, but when she does, her new name will be Carport Kitty.

    **************

    Stay safe, stay sane, get vaccinated and please stay tuned.

  • where did Halloween go?

    where did Halloween go?


    Ghost, ghost said our two year old granddaughter Ella as Pretty (a/k/a Nana) rolled her away in the grocery store cart from the Nana car in the parking lot toward the store entrance this afternoon. She was, of course, referring to the gigantic white ghost inflatable that had weaved and bobbed to her when we went to the same store two weeks ago. Such fun. Much laughter. Not scary.

    Oh, Halloween is over, and the ghost won’t be there today, Pretty told her.

    Ok, Ella replied with her favorite response to adult answers lately.

    Fast forward to our ride in the car on the way home when she sat in her car seat facing backwards watching YouTube kids version on Nana’s cell phone which is clearly the best entertainment when you can’t see where you’re going. I had my customary place next to Ella in the back seat while Nana was our designated driver.

    We rode past a house in her neighborhood that had been decorated with a huge display of Halloween inflatables for weeks but was now a plain typical yard like the other ones, and Ella looked out the window as we passed.

    Looking directly at me with great sincerity she asked Naynay, where did Halloween go?

    Pretty and I both laughed out loud but then had to come up with something, anything.

    Without blinking an eye, I said Halloween was over – it had been replaced by Christmas. Pretty jumped in from the front seat to add we would have another holiday called Thanksgiving before Christmas. I was grateful.

    Ok, Ella said, and went back to her Tubes.

  • 54 Quotes from 46 People

    54 Quotes from 46 People


    I rarely reblog from my other blogging friends (as in never) but Brian could be the Winner of all my Favorite Saying Contests that have been relegated to the “gone, but forgotten” posts. Such a clever guy. Check him out.

    Brian Lageose's avatarBonnywood Manor

    Before you delve any further: This is an older post, so I feel compelled to explain a few things. One, it’s nowhere near my birthday, so there’s no need to express congratulations over milestones or pity over my decay, unless you’re feeling really festive. Two, the bit about my having the flu seems discordant (and insensitive) these days, but that section was scribbled before the stunning madness of Covid. Three, there’s something soulfully satisfying about discovering a passage that really speaks to you, especially when those words come from a source you didn’t expect. And that’s the real focus of this collection. Enjoy.

    I’m a tad late with this, but (cue minimalist fanfare) here’s my annual birthday post, based on a budding tradition that originally wasn’t meant to be a tradition. It just worked out that way.

    It all started with 50/50, some thoughts I shared as I hit…

    View original post 1,376 more words

  • Happy Birthday to the Queen of my Heart


    Today is officially proclaimed International Pretty Day in honor of

    her birthday!

    Pretty’s smile and laughter are celebrated every day by the people she knows through her passion for playing tennis, those who deal with her in her antique empire, her Twitter friends in cyberspace, her friends and family in real life – especially her granddaughter Ella who always lights up all over whenever Pretty comes into her view.

    I am fortunate to share Pretty’s smile and laughter every day of my life. She is the Queen of my heart.

    Happy International Pretty Day, Sweet! Celebrate yourself today!