For any who want more, complete list of all posts by month since 2011
  • Dog Catcher Snatches Election Eve Exuberance


    spike-peeking

    Our dog Spike is a Texas immigrant to South Carolina. We brought him from Worsham Street where he was unceremoniously dumped by an unknown person – possibly a UPS driver or FedEx person since these trucks always seem to annoy him more than anyone in the world. They are the object of much barking and, if the opportunity presents itself with the back door open, he will race through the doggie door, jump the fence in out back yard, and tear after the delivery trucks as if chasing after the Hounds of the Baskerville. Other than his fence jumping, he is a very sweet dog who makes few demands of us.

    Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

    In the last two weeks, I’ve noticed Spike spends most of his outside time sitting or lying down in front of our wrought iron gate in the back yard gazing through the bars to the street behind us. He’s always been fascinated with Manning Avenue because it has a lot more activity – people walking by, cars driving by, neighbors visiting on their front porches – than the less interesting Canterbury Road our house faces, but he’s never been quite so fascinated with “gate gazing.”

    So I made an effort to solve the mysterious attraction and found that there were three little dogs running up and down the street and one of them made friends with Spike who was a Goliath compared to the smaller dog, but the little fellow liked to visit Spike at the back gate and/or on the street whenever Spike was out on a fence jumping adventure. The little dogs always ran to the same house and I assumed it was their home. Ding, ding, ding. Incorrect assumption.

    This afternoon the Dog Catcher came through our neighborhood and parked in front of the house where the little dogs were staying and scooped them up one by one in front of the house while Spike who had jumped the fence and raced to their rescue barked at me who was unaware of the drama unfolding and simply carrying the garbage bag out the back gate to the dumpster when I heard the Dog Catcher hollering at me. Hey, do you know who that big dog belongs to?

    Yes, he’s mine, I said and began to try to railroad Spike to the back gate. But he wasn’t cooperating so I had to go inside our casa to locate Pretty and ask her to help me corral our dog before he was also scooped up by the Dog Catcher. Pretty to the rescue. With one final look back at his friends, Spike was reluctantly collared and brought safely inside.

    Tonight he is inconsolable. He walked slowly to his crate after he ate and stayed there for the rest of this Election Eve as Pretty and I watched POTUS and FLOTUS and POTUS-in-waiting at a huge rally in Philadelphia… and became very emotional over the possibility of the first woman President in the White House. Thankfully, the long arduous, often distasteful campaign is over and Election Day is here.

    But Spike will have none of it tonight. No joy in Mudville. The Mighty Casey had struck out in his efforts to save his buddies from disaster. Election Eve anticipation and exuberance have been snatched from Casa de Canterbury by a Dog Catcher.

    Shit house mouse, as The Red Man was fond of saying. We need to make a plan.

     

  • Calling All Cousins!


    004

    So Pretty and I have always been interested in our family trees, and this year I decided to give us our DNA tests as a Christmas present to each other. I can never pick any gift for Pretty because whatever I pick she already bought for herself years ago, and that makes me struggle to come up with something creative for special occasions. DNA idea was brilliant, I thought.

    I’ve been dealing with ordering the kits, supervising and returning sample collections and registering at the appropriate sites to activate. Whew. Quite the ordeal.

    Hooray, one of our results came in this week: mine. I have been thoroughly entertained with the pie chart and other info. Seriously. Thoroughly entertained. I can roam through the site for hours looking for relatives.

    Now I am searching for the 710 cousins who are Out There Somewhere…Calling All Cousins…let’s catch up.

    002

    Oh, as for Pretty, well, her sample didn’t pass the sample test – so she has to do another one. Sigh. So much for creativity

  • We Are F-A-M-I-L-Y?


    I wonder. If we are truly “family” then we are like many families – highly dysfunctional.

    The older I get the less I value the opinions other people have of me including my height and weight, my politics, my white hair, my house with the Tara columns, my old truck and car, my dog that jumps the fence on a regular basis which annoys me so I know it must annoy my neighbors, my sexual orientation, my “falling away” from the church, my obsession with the tennis majors and sports in general…so if you don’t like any of these traits, perceived foibles or inherited genetics well, to quote Rhett Butler, frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. At seventy years of age I’m not hopeful for makeovers in any of these areas.

    Family, on the other hand, is a core value with me. You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family, can you? My family is what I started with, and my family will be what I end up with – if I have anything to say on the subject. So whatever attack you have up your sleeve, please don’t disrespect my family. I know I have cousins who aren’t what we hoped they’d be, but they’re my cousins after all and perhaps I’m not what they hoped I’d be, either. But hey, don’t disrespect my cousins in front of me.

    The same feelings go with my country. I don’t know how I was fortunate enough to be born in the United States, but I was and am proud of it. Being an American is another core value for me – democracy is a fundamental principle that I cherish and every year or two or four I watch as the election process unfolds and shake my head or nod it at the conclusion of the campaign seasons when the results are announced. That’s that until the next time. Case closed. You win some. You lose some.

    Here’s the thing. Don’t disrespect democracy – not in front of me, not now, not ever. Don’t sneer at what makes our country great right this minute – free elections with a smooth transition of power. Is the process absolutely 100% guaranteed to not have any flaws at all? Not a chance. But is the process and outcome a cornerstone of our family values as a free nation? You better believe it.

    Some of us were born into the American family, some of us made a conscious choice to join our American family – but ALL of us believe that we wake up every morning in a free country where no one is about to form a military coup to pick our next President, don’t we?

    So we are a dysfunctional family these days and this election season has been “nasty.” But make no mistake – our f-a-m-i-l-y is what we honor as Americans – it’s what we will vote to protect, preserve and defend on November 08th.

    Seriously.

    003

  • Doubling Down on Debates, Dems, Demagogues, Divisiveness and Depression: I VOTED


    001

    The most recent polling of my personal state of mind reveals a slight shift from 52% Negative and 48% Positive to 52% Positive and 48% Negative. Jeopardy host Alex Trebek asks what are readily identifiable factors that have led to this impressive 4-point swing? The answer is the Daily Double, or the Daily Doubling Down: I voted. My depression is slightly improved without an increase in my anti-depressant medication.

    I feel like a great burden has been lifted from my scrambled brain that has been trying for the past two years to sift facts from fiction at debates in the bruising endless primaries and now bipartisan presidential debates. Is it my imagination or are the debates really longer with just two candidates onstage than they were with a gazillion candidates vying for attention. Whatever. For the most part, the candidates have been unresponsive to the moderators’ questions, and the moderators have been unresponsive to their unresponsiveness. The single most consistent feeling I have after I watch a debate is that I would have been a better moderator. I’m just saying.

    But guess what?

    What?

    I don’t even need to watch the final debate tomorrow because I already voted. Yep. One of the perks of being older than dirt is the right to vote absentee and I jumped all over that yesterday. Me and my 1.5 million early voting friends, that is.

    002

    Today’s buzz words for the campaigns according to the political talking heads are Doubling Down. Whatever a candidate advocates that will solidify her/his voter base (those voters who will vote for you regardless of any mention of sex, lies, emails or videotapes), now is the time to pull out all the stops, say whatever motivates your base the most and make sure your peeps vote. For example, comment on the “rigged system” of voting in general. This is Doubling Down – a populist candidate appealing to supporters who already feel like political outsiders – by attempting to suggest the voting process itself is fundamentally flawed. Oops – flawed unless you win, of course.

    I pity the Undecideds because they will, no doubt, be watching tomorrow night’s debates with the same “wishy- washyness” they’ve been watching all of the previous ones. They’ll still be hanging onto the sounds and images of every political TV commercial between now and November 08th. hoping and praying for that moment of inspiration, that pearl of wisdom which will finally push them into someone’s camp. But not me. I already voted. I can mute those suckers and the divisiveness they perpetrate.

    003

    No really, seriously. I voted.

     

  • Transformers That Go BOOM in the Night!


    Howling winds that blew buckets and buckets of rain all night were the demons that kept Pretty and me awake with jangling nerves as Hurricane Matthew pushed up the South Carolina coast to finally make land in the little fishing town of  McClellanville at some point this morning. McClellanville is between Charleston and Myrtle Beach and was devastated by Hurricane Hugo in 1989. It’s just 150 miles south of Casa de Canterbury and Matthew let us know how far he could reach with his power and fury beginning late yesterday afternoon as he whipped up the atmosphere around us before ending a little while ago with a whimper of light breezes and drizzle. Adios, Matthew. Good-bye. Good riddance.

    This was our conversation every hour on the hour while the hurricane winds and rain beat against our bedroom window panes on the second floor.

    Me: “I think we need to go down to the first floor and spend the night in the living room.”

    Pretty: “Let’s wait a little while and see how it goes.”

    Me: “I can see the trees moving in the shadows on the blinds, and I’m worried one of them might fall on our heads.”

    Pretty: “Yes, I’m worried about that, too. Let me check Facebook to see what everyone else is doing.”

    Me: “In the middle of the night during a hurricane you’re checking Facebook?”

    Pretty:  “Yes. I want to know how my friends are doing.”

    Me: “Your friends are sound asleep in the living rooms on the first floor of their houses.”

    Pretty: Silence. She closes her computer and pretends to sleep. I shut up.

    At four o’clock a transformer in our neighborhood went out with a Loud BOOM that shook our house. Pretty and I sat up straight and I muttered obscenities while Pretty reached down to comfort Spike who started to shake. Charly jumped up from her place at the bottom of the bed and flew to get between Pretty and me. We were all undone and waited for something terrible to happen.

    Miraculously the ceiling fan continued its pattern of movement and my electric digital clock kept on ticking. The winds and downpour were still swirling around us, but we remained relatively unscathed on the second floor of Casa de Canterbury.

    002

    The Orlando flag survived – but several big limbs didn’t

    003

    Dent Middle School not far from our house

    was a temporary shelter for low country evacuees

    We understand that we were very lucky to have minimal problems when so many across our state and our sister states along the southeastern Atlantic coastline suffered severe losses of property and lives. For that, Pretty and I are grateful. We talked the past few days about the people of Haiti and the plight they have in the aftermath of Hurricane Matthew. Unimaginable devastation. Ongoing horrors and nightmares.

    Pretty is happily back on Facebook in the light of day and told me about the neatest post on Usain Bolt, the Olympian runner, who has donated $10 million dollars to the Haiti rebuilding efforts. That made me truly happy. May it all end up in the hands that need it most.

    Thank you to everyone who has been concerned about Casa de Canterbury and its family during Hurricane Matthew. The comments, prayers and well wishes have been wonderful and very much appreciated by Pretty, Charly, Spike and me.

    We’re still standing.