Vanity Fair and the National Enquirer


I picked up a copy of the April issue of Vanity Fair today while I was waiting in line to be checked out at the grocery store. The cover is this fabulous picture of Meryl Streep, and it hooked me because I love Meryl Streep. The title of the article suggested the possibility of new material about her early career.  It’s not unusual for me to pick up a magazine while I’m in line – the grocery stores make it so convenient – but I usually read the National Enquirer since their huge headlines are sensational and the pictures on the cover are incredibly tragic.  Sensational. Tragic. The mind races.

I never buy a magazine because (a) they are too expensive and (b) the line is always very long when I wheel my cart in behind several people who are also waiting and I have plenty of time to read anything that piques my interest. Even if I choose the line that’s the shortest, it will invariably be the line that takes the longest amount of time. I don’t mind, though. It’s such a wonderful opportunity to catch up on current events both real and pretend. AOL and Al Jazeera notwithstanding, sometimes finding out that Princess Kate is about to have twins when even Prince William doesn’t know makes the National Enquirer fascinating.

Of course, today was the day when my line moved as fast as a speeding bullet and I had no chance to even find the inside article on Meryl Streep in Vanity Fair – much less read it. As a result, I paid the $4.99 necessary to actually purchase the magazine and bring it home. I was in a fine mood thinking about everything I would find out about Meryl as soon as I unloaded the grocery bags from the car.

On the way out of the store, I had a surreal conversation with an 83-year-old African American man who was ahead of me in line at the customer service area where he was buying a lottery ticket, and I was waiting to buy mine.  I believe I have a tattoo on my forehead that reads Tell Me the Most Intimate Details of Your Life in a Condensed Version because invariably people I meet in random everyday situations tell me much more information than I need to know. Today was no exception. Our conversation was brief, but I do hope that his vision of a world that Makes America Great Again is a bet with very long odds.

The good news is that the article on Meryl Streep was everything I’d hoped for and  definitely worth $4.99 – but far less revealing than the tabloid tales with the tragic pictures. Meryl’s pictures were incredible and brought back a flood of great movie moments from her early days in tinsel town. Hooray for Hollywood.

Tomorrow (Saturday the 9th.) is a busy day – I will have a booth at the Cayce Festival for the Arts from 9:00 to 5:00  and  would love for any readers in the Columbia area to stop by. I will be wearing my Tell Me the Most Intimate Details of Your Life tattoo on my forehead and you don’t even have to condense it. I promise.

See you there!

 

 

 

About Sheila Morris

Sheila Morris is an essayist with humorist tendencies and a passion for photojournalism. She has published four nonfiction books including two memoirs, an essay collection and a collection of her favorite blogs from I'll Call It Like I See It. She has been blogging for seven years as her alter ego, The Red Man, her rescued Welsh terrier but now is reduced to writing as herself since the Red Man left Casa de Canterbury for good in February of 2016. She is a displaced Texan living in South Carolina with her wife Teresa Williams and their dogs Spike and Charly.
This entry was posted in Humor, Life, Personal and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Vanity Fair and the National Enquirer

  1. Oh if I could get there, I’d tell all. AND I can spot you now and again so you can make a Coke run. You see, I have the exact same tattoo!! 😀

    Ann

    Liked by 1 person

  2. boblamb says:

    Good one.

    My favorite NE headline: “Mother uses baby’s skull for ashtray.”

    Good luck in Cayce.

    ________________________________

    Liked by 1 person

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