who’s (what’s) to blame for microwave disaster?

Plenty of blame to go around, of course.

(1) no alarm clock in our house that we can figure out how to work except microwave timer

(2) the Covid test kit with exactly 15 second nose swabs and then

(3) exactly 30 seconds swirling in tube and then

(4) exactly 15 minutes to wait for valid test

(5) the unsuspecting Lizard’s Thicket dinner roll placed two days ago in microwave to be eaten by someone for breakfast yesterday

(6) Lizard’s Thicket for giving Pretty one dinner roll and one cornbread with her vegetable plate day before yesterday instead of the two cornbreads she always orders with the vegetable plate she gets at least once a week

(7) whoever was supposed to eat unwanted dinner roll for breakfast yesterday but chose cinnamon raisin bread toast because she totally forgot the dinner roll was in the microwave

(8) whoever decided to take yet another Covid test early this morning because she can’t believe her laryngitis and sore throat aren’t due to Omicron variant of the coronavirus

(9) Pretty for staying with Molly for five nights at Drew and Caroline’s house across town while they were gone with Ella, leaving Pretty’s hypochondiac wife alone with Covid testing kits in kitchen

Note to self: never leave dinner roll in microwave for 15 minutes. The dinner roll will catch fire, the microwave will never be the same, and the house will be filled with smoke.

Could I possibly blame Carport Kitty when Pretty comes home today?

Hm. I doubt it. Sigh. What’s one microwave more or less among friends, right, Pretty?

About Sheila Morris

Sheila Morris is a personal historian, essayist with humorist tendencies, lesbian activist, truth seeker and speaker in the tradition of other female Texas storytellers including her paternal grandmother. In December, 2017, the University of South Carolina Press published her collection of first-person accounts of a few of the people primarily responsible for the development of LGBTQ organizations in South Carolina. Southern Perspectives on the Queer Movement: Committed to Home will resonate with everyone interested in LGBTQ history in the South during the tumultuous times from the AIDS pandemic to marriage equality. She has published five nonfiction books including two memoirs, an essay compilation and two collections of her favorite blogs from I'll Call It Like I See It. Her first book, Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing received a Golden Crown Literary Society Award in 2008. Her writings have been included in various anthologies - most recently the 2017 Saints and Sinners Literary Magazine. Her latest book, Four Ticket Ride, was released in January, 2019. She is a displaced Texan living in South Carolina with her wife Teresa Williams and their dogs Spike, Charly and Carl. She is also Naynay to her two granddaughters Ella and Molly James who light up her life for real. Born in rural Grimes County, Texas in 1946 her Texas roots still run wide and deep.
This entry was posted in family life, Humor, Life, Personal, Reflections, Slice of Life, The Way Life Is and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to who’s (what’s) to blame for microwave disaster?

  1. Oh dear, Pretty sure is going to rue leaving you alone 😀 Thankfully no real disaster but bet it gave you a fright!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wayside Artist says:

    I second the Oh dear!

    At least you and the microwave survived and Carport Kitty didn’t lose her food pantry in a house fire.

    Pro tip: Omicron almost never presents with a sore throat.

    Feel better. Stay well.

    Love your fellow attention challenged cook.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Luanne says:

    The upside is this made a hilarious blog post!!!! And, no, don’t blame Carport Kitty because nobody will ever believe anything you say again!

    Liked by 1 person

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