Plenty of blame to go around, of course.
(1) no alarm clock in our house that we can figure out how to work except microwave timer
(2) the Covid test kit with exactly 15 second nose swabs and then
(3) exactly 30 seconds swirling in tube and then
(4) exactly 15 minutes to wait for valid test
(5) the unsuspecting Lizard’s Thicket dinner roll placed two days ago in microwave to be eaten by someone for breakfast yesterday
(6) Lizard’s Thicket for giving Pretty one dinner roll and one cornbread with her vegetable plate day before yesterday instead of the two cornbreads she always orders with the vegetable plate she gets at least once a week
(7) whoever was supposed to eat unwanted dinner roll for breakfast yesterday but chose cinnamon raisin bread toast because she totally forgot the dinner roll was in the microwave
(8) whoever decided to take yet another Covid test early this morning because she can’t believe her laryngitis and sore throat aren’t due to Omicron variant of the coronavirus
(9) Pretty for staying with Molly for five nights at Drew and Caroline’s house across town while they were gone with Ella, leaving Pretty’s hypochondiac wife alone with Covid testing kits in kitchen
Note to self: never leave dinner roll in microwave for 15 minutes. The dinner roll will catch fire, the microwave will never be the same, and the house will be filled with smoke.
Could I possibly blame Carport Kitty when Pretty comes home today?
Hm. I doubt it. Sigh. What’s one microwave more or less among friends, right, Pretty?