Where Am I Now That I Need Me?


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I think I see me at the Peachtree Rock Preserve

We each have our own places that remind us of who we are – or who we would like to be.  Water does it for some people.  Lakes.  Rivers. Oceans.  We are drawn to waters like these for their uninterrupted flows and timelessness.  We can paddle our own canoes on a river or we can swim in an ocean or we can float behind boats in a lake.  Yes, the water reminds us of ourselves and lets us know we are at home and at peace.

Since I am a Taurus and have a general water phobia, I wouldn’t head to the beach to look for myself if I were lost.  No, I’d go for a walk – not actually a hike these days – but a nice walk.  If I were in Texas, I’d look for me in an old Dodge Dakota pickup truck.  I’d be going for a ride in Grimes County to see the rolling hills and pastures filled with cows and horses and the bluebonnets in the spring or the splashes of bright red and yellow leaves on the hardwood trees in the fall and to enjoy the absence of traffic on the back country roads.  Usually I’d stop for my walk at the Fairview Cemetery to say hello to my family and friends who rest there now, but the recent losses make this stop too painful so I doubt that’s where I’d find myself today.

No, I think I’d go to South Carolina to the Peachtree Rock Preserve.  I’d park in the little area reserved for visitors and I’d walk the mile on the narrow trail into the thick forest and lo and behold, I’d come to a clearing about halfway down the trail where the Peachtree Rock would sit as it has sat for millions of years.    It is as timeless for me as the ocean and my sense of awe and wonder when I saw it was as deep as the deep blue sea.  I’ve only been there once, but the feelings of strength and serenity and sheer joy I felt when I was there make it the perfect place to look for me today.

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It was okay for me to bring a friend.

Good.  I just found me at Peachtree Rock tonight.  Whew!  That’s a relief.  I thought I’d lost me.

About Sheila Morris

Sheila Morris is an essayist with humorist tendencies who periodically indulges her desires to write outside her genre by trying to write fiction and poetry. In December, 2017, the University of South Carolina Press is publishing her collection of first-person accounts of the people primarily responsible for the development of LGBT organizations in South Carolina. Southern Perspectives on the Queer Movement: Committed to Home will resonate with everyone interested in LGBT history in the South during the tumultuous times from the AIDS pandemic to marriage equality. She has published four nonfiction books including two memoirs, an essay compilation and a group of her favorite blogs from I'll Call It Like I See It. Her first book, Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing received a Golden Crown Literary Society Award in 2008. Her writings have been included in various anthologies - most recently the 2017 Saints and Sinners Literary Magazine. She is a displaced Texan living in South Carolina with her wife Teresa Williams and their dogs Spike and Charly. Her Texas roots are never too far from her thoughts.
This entry was posted in Humor, Lesbian Literary, Life, Personal, Random, Reflections, Slice of Life, The Way Life Is and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Where Am I Now That I Need Me?

  1. Bob Lamb says:

    Good. One, Sheila.

    Like

  2. Bob Lamb says:

    Personally, I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

    Like

  3. Teresa says:

    Lovely.

    Like

  4. There is something about the solidity, the stability of rocks that has the power to literally ground us when we are frazzled or panicked or lost. We can touch them and remember we are solid too, for a time anyway. Dogs have that nature in them. When life is a mess, retreat to Mother Earth and hug a hound!

    Yes, I agree with Bob above. Another good one.

    Hugs,
    Ann

    Like

    • Hi Ann,
      Thanks so much and yes, I do love a good rock, but I don’t want a rock without a dog around to see it with me…:)
      Hope your weekend is full of fun with your girls – they are the most adorable ever!!
      Sheila

      Like

  5. Anne Boring says:

    That is exactly where I would go looking for me in Texas! Perhaps we are twins!!!

    Like

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