PTDS – Is There Any Cure?


I called my doctor this morning after a sleepless night and gave him my symptoms.

“Doctor, Doctor, I woke up this morning and wasn’t able to get out of  bed – I pulled the covers up over my head as high as I could and then felt paralyzed from my head to my toes. I tried to think of my mantra but couldn’t remember it so I just lay there – unable to even reach for my iPad to play Words with Friends or Yushino. I’m telling you – I had so much anxiety I couldn’t even tell Pretty good morning or give my poor dogs their breakfast. It was like I was trapped in some kind of nightmare.”

“Hm. I see. Can you describe the nightmare? Was there a monster after you?”

“Yes! That’s exactly how I felt – like there was a monster after me!”

“Hm. I see. Can you describe the monster?”

“Well, let me think. I think it was an overweight orange man with yellow hair – yes, an overweight orange man with yellow hair – and I couldn’t get away from him. Everywhere I turned, there he was right behind me. I felt like he was stalking me – he kept shouting and pointing his finger at me. I think he said he wanted to put me in jail or something like that. It was terrible, terrible. I’ve never been so afraid in any of my worst nightmares.”

“Hm. I see. And by any chance, did this overweight orange man with yellow hair do a lot of wheezing?”

“Yes! He did…every time he got close to me I could hear him make this odd sniffing sound. But how did you know that?”

“Well, my dear, I have to say it’s the strangest phenomenon for a Monday morning I believe I’ve ever seen in my forty years of practicing medicine. You are the fifth woman to call me today with these same symptoms. Extraordinary, you might want to say.”

“Oh, my goodness. Have you been able to make a diagnosis for us? Do you have a medicine that will help us?”

“I have Good News and Bad News. The good news is I have been able to diagnose what you all have. You clearly are suffering from Post Traumatic Debate Stress or PTDS after watching the most recent 2016 Presidential Debate last night.”

“OMG, not PTDS – that’s the Good News? I’m afraid to hear the Bad News.”

“The Bad News is it is incurable in the short-term. However, I can promise you it will get better after November 08th. if you live that long. So hang in there, and my prescription is to stay away from your TV on October 19th…before, during and after the next debate.”

Which is what I plan to do.

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving Day to my Canadian friends – be thankful for your blessings which include not being in the middle of a bitterly divisive election campaign that might spoil your appetites.

About Sheila Morris

Sheila Morris is an essayist with humorist tendencies and a passion for photojournalism. She has published four nonfiction books including two memoirs, an essay collection and a collection of her favorite blogs from I'll Call It Like I See It. She has been blogging for seven years as her alter ego, The Red Man, her rescued Welsh terrier but now is reduced to writing as herself since the Red Man left Casa de Canterbury for good in February of 2016. She is a displaced Texan living in South Carolina with her wife Teresa Williams and their dogs Spike and Charly.
This entry was posted in Humor, Personal, politics, The Way Life Is and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to PTDS – Is There Any Cure?

  1. Nanine says:

    I have a case of it too, along with a recurrence of PTSD from every long ago idiot, self-satisfied, barnacle of a male boss who groped and leared at me when all I wanted to do was my job. I can still hear the laughing denials when confronted with their unacceptable behavior. I pray that orange-haired faux chimpanzee goes down hard.

    And now back to admiring orange autumn leaves.

    You’re the best, Miss Sheila!!

    Like

    • How did this one ever get past me, Ann? I only hope that every groping boss will somehow come to their own day of reckoning and that they will burn in flames that match the color of their hair…I am still amazed at the turn of events during the past month. Stunning is one of the words that comes to mind.

      Like

  2. I have a case of it too, along with a recurrence of PTSD from every long ago idiot, self-satisfied, barnacle of a male boss who groped and leared at me when all I wanted to do was my job. I can still hear the laughing denials when confronted with their unacceptable behavior. I pray that orange-haired faux chimpanzee goes down hard.

    And now back to admiring orange autumn leaves.

    You’re the best, Miss Sheila!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Susanne says:

    Sheila, I’m not even American and I have PTSD, too. I didn’t watch the thing because he makes me nauseated to look at but I follow the on-line coverage of a few American newspapers and I felt my pulse go out of control today as I read and saw the images. I had successfully managed to suppress all the instances of harrassment in my career – maybe because back then it didn’t have a name – but it sure came roaring back last week. I can’t believe there are still people supporting him. Shocking.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, PTSD is not limited to Americans. I, too, came into the workplace when blatant discrimination had no recourse, and evidently some of our male bosses have not made much forward progress in the last forty years. The bosses who have become our champions are not in the same locker rooms with the one who is running for President.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. mareymercy says:

    OK wow – thank you for writing this. I woke up freaking CRYING and I really couldn’t articulate it at the time. Right after the horrible debacle, when the pundits started talking, they were all saying how Donald had done ‘a good job staunching the bleeding’ and basically discussing how he did so much better in this debate than in the last. I was so upset and distubed, like, what the hell are they talking about? Why are they not reading him to filth for his behavior? Good lord!!! And like many other women, all day long memory after memory of being discounted and bullied by pushy, know-nothing men who had positions of power over me for no good reason that I could ascertain.

    Fortunately as the day has worn on I’ve heard from more and more women who felt as I did and at least I do not feel nearly as alone as I did last night and this morning. Good lord this whole election cycle has been a nightmare and it cannot end fast enough. Hilary deserves the presidency, a lifetime supply of Xanax and a life-sized statue in New York, directly in front of Trump Tower.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bravo, Mareymercy! What a wonderful suggestion for our future POTUS!
      Pretty and I couldn’t believe the post-debate commentary on MSNBC until Rachel Maddow basically called out DT’s ramblings as being “insane.” That made us feel better.
      You are not alone today or any day – you’re still standing along with everyone else who recognizes injustice when they see it.Thank you for writing.

      Like

  5. Bob Slatten says:

    That was fabulous, and now I know there’s a name from what i suffered last night!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ha! Cure coming up in a few weeks, we hope!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: PTDS – Is There Any Cure? – I'll Call It Like I See It

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