I'll Call It Like I See It

by sheila morris

Category: Humor

  • if I could turn back time…oh that’s right, I can


    Each year we have an opportunity to turn back time for an hour which is probably less than Cher was singing about when she had her hit song but then hey, nothing’s perfect.

    I don’t like fiddling around with time twice a year with the fall back, spring forward shenanigans we have manufactured to trick ourselves because doing so makes me question whether time is real or an illusion. If we can recklessly give and take an hour every year, who’s to say that hour really exists…and then I go downhill from there about the whole issues of time travel, is one hour really sixty minutes or is that just a television show, who shot JR…you see, some rabbit holes are better left to rabbits.

    Today I watered the plants in the back yard which is a leading indicator of rain.

    As the rain fell softly, I happened to look out in our front yard and saw the spectacular combination of the last brilliant summer pink crape myrtle blossoms competing with the burst of other colors that signify autumn is here.

    I may have to turn back time tonight, but this is an hour I don’t want to lose.

     

     

     

     

  • Pretty has Halloween treats – no tricks


    Happy Halloween to our cyberspace amigos from all of us at Casita de Cardinal – hope you  have fun and high frivolity complete with walking dead figures as far as the eye can see…

    I have never been a costume person, but I rarely meet a piece of chocolate candy I don’t like so Halloween isn’t a total washout for me.

    Permit me to offer one memory of a Trick or Treat I went on with my friend Butch Foster when I was a little girl living in Richards, Texas. I must have been five or six years old, and Butch was a couple of years older. It wasn’t the candy I remember – no, not the candy.  But I can still smell and taste the homemade popcorn balls made with fresh popcorn and Karo syrup that my grandmother gave us when we knocked on her door. My hands got so sticky when I ate the popcorn ball, but who cared. It was scrumptious. (I’m not sure Butch was as impressed as I was.)

    And now, here’s a treat from Pretty that will surely send you racing to her antique booths in Little Mountain this week – check out the chair and bench!

     

    Stay tuned.

  • #STAND AGAINST HATE


    corner of Main and Laurel – parade starts here

    where are my peeps?

    where’s our group?

    for sure YOU rock, little sis!

    These girls rock, too – ALL TOGETHER NOW!

    you girls totally rock!

    my chariot for the parade – SC Gay and Lesbian Guild parade entry

    (Thanks to Mar-la-ti-dah (l.) for giving up her ride in the Guild chariot)

    Guild President CC (r.) drove us and served as dj for our fabulous parade music

    (oh, no, she didn’ have ABBA and Dancing Queen  oh, yes, she DID!)

    Robin Ridgell and the Famously Hot Mar-la-ti-dah strategize before parade

    floats getting ready!

    hurry up – don’t be late

    Pretty waiting for Matt Tischler’s Light Brigade to organize

    Baby Tonks’s very first Pride Parade – Mother beaming

    this family walked beside me and made me proud

    Rob is ready!

    Let’s go!

    The Pride Parade made an important statement once again to the city of Columbia and the state of South Carolina as we laughed, sang and chanted our way down Main Street for the first nighttime parade in our history. The crowds on the sidewalk clapped, cheered and waved their own flags to the gays and their families and friends who they knew were taking a stand for equality in a time when equality is under attack by a hostile administration in Washington, D.C.

    I will never forget the older attractive African American woman sitting in a wheel chair on the sidewalk waving a small Pride flag at me as we rode by her. She was smiling with real happiness for what she was witnessing, and that brought tears of joy to my eyes.

    Nothing rained on my parade last night – none of the usual group of protesters appeared – and my last view as we left Main Street was my favorite float.

    Stand against hate. All together now.

  • “Honey, life’s a 4-Ticket Ride”


    My friend Esther told me this story Tuesday when I was sitting in her chair for my regular pedicure at Eli’s (which I thoroughly recommend for anyone who needs a good manicure or pedicure plus entertainment while you’re at it). She swears the story is true.

    She was sitting in a doctor’s waiting area that was empty except for her and a petite elderly lady who had been in the room when she arrived. They waited and waited together, but Esther decided to break the awkward silence by asking the little old lady how she was doing that day.

    “Honey, life’s a 4-ticket ride,” the woman said with a smile.

    I almost fell out of Esther’s chair laughing at what the older woman had said. The remark was particularly appropriate since the State Fair is in town for the week with the amusement park rides going strong.

    For anyone of my friends in cyberspace who might not  know what a 4-ticket ride is, please ask me in the comment section.

    The quote “Honey, life’s a 4-ticket ride” has now made it to my own memorable quotes collection which reminds me:

    Peace and Kindness Quote Contest

    Deadline: Midnight Friday, October 27

    3rd place Granny Selma Award for Trying  – $25

    2nd place Old Woman Slow Award for Close But No Cigar –   $50

    1st place Daddy Glenn L. Morris Award for Quote Mastery –  $75

    Keep those quote coming in, and be sure to stay tuned.

     

  • Call for Submissions: Fourth Annual Cyberspace Memorable Quotes Contest


    Yes, it’s that time of the year again when the trees begin to think about dropping the leaves they’ve held on their branches since spring so they can take a nap during winter. The crickets and frogs have vanished along with their chirping and “uhguh” grunting sounds at night. When we let the dogs out for their final walkabout, we hear only the pool noises – the three jets pushing the water rhythmically across the surface…reminding me of rushing mountain streams.

    Gamecock football games in Columbia, the South Carolina State Fair setting up next to the Williams Brice football stadium, Halloween candy in the grocery store, Pretty getting out her Pumpkin decorations for her antique empire – clearly signs of the beginning of the countdown to Christmas and the New Year. I am astonished at the warp speed with which we have added another year in the life.

    But what year is complete without the Cyberspace Memorable Quotes Contest which celebrates its 4th anniversary this year!

    My passion for quotes rivals Pretty’s passion for antiques, and that is really saying something. More to come on Pretty’s new adventures in the antique world very soon (with pictures, too).

    I’m doing something a little different for this year’s contest. Hurricane horrors in Texas, Florida, the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico have dominated the headlines in recent months, and this week we have had a horror of another kind in our country involving a disturbed man firing into a concert crowd in Las Vegas creating the largest mass murder in our history. Unbelievable tragedy. Meanwhile, we have a president in the White House who makes a flippant warning that our nation is living in a “calm before the storm” without a hint of what that might mean which seems more suitable for a TV cliffhanger than real life. Seriously?

    With that in mind, here’s the deal for this year’s contest. We have a theme, and the theme is Peace and Kindness. Please select your favorite quotes that address the theme in any creative fashion that you think will appeal to the judge of the contest which, of course, is moi.

    Endowments have been made for the winners this year. Third place will receive the Granny Selma Award for Trying and a prize of $25. Second place will be given the Old Woman Slow Award for Close but no Cigar and a prize of $50. First place will receive the Daddy Glenn L. Morris Award for Quote Mastery and a prize of $75. Today is Daddy’s birthday, and I’m reminded he always won when we played the Quotes game on car trips from Richards to Houston or whenever he felt like random quoting.

    Now then, boys and girls in cyberspace, get busy and send your quotes to me at my secret email address of smortex@aol.com. Be sure and leave your real name on them so that the judge can weigh in on favoritism. Just kidding.

    The top ten winners will be published on my blog. The deadline for entries is midnight of Friday, October 27th.

    Remember: Peace and Kindness is the theme and oh, btw, please make them a priority in your own lives every day.

    Have a great weekend and stay tuned.