Drop-kick me Jesus


My love affair with country music is rivaled only by my love affair with football and until very early this morning when I was frying bacon in the kitchen for Teresa to have before she went to work, I never knew their paths had crossed. Country music and football, that is.

I could hardly believe my ears. As a matter of fact, I thought I had misunderstood the words I heard. I was juggling frying bacon with fixing toast that refused to brown for some reason known only to the stove that is possessed by evil demons named Burning and Undercooking when I thought I heard the words drop-kick me Jesus blaring from the country classics radio station playing on the TV.  What’s that you say? Stick with me Jesus? Is that a country classic? Maybe gospel country music?

Two things as background. One, my AT&T U-verse decided over the weekend to change its music programming to a different venue and now uses something called Stingray for all music channels. Two, I hate change.

But I am between hell and hackeydam in this case and must use the new station if I want to hear the country classics. Many of the “classics” on this new station are different so it’s possible I won’t recognize some of the tunes I hear anymore. (Where’s Willie when you need him?)  So when I thought I heard the lyrics drop-kick me Jesus I assumed I didn’t really hear those exact words – just maybe something like those…which is common for my super-senior hearing.

But then I clearly heard the lyrics I’ve got the will Lord, if you got the toe. I dropped the fork I was frying the bacon with and rushed around the corner past the liquor cabinet to the den where the TV showed the current song and artist. Sure enough, as Granny Selma would say, Bobby Bare was singing:

Drop-kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life

End over end, neither left nor the right…

Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights

Drop-kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life.

The song went on and on with references to the departed brothers and sisters forming some sort of offensive line for us, but mostly it repeated the title enough times that I knew the refrain by heart. Actually, I doubt I’ll ever forget it. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Bobby Bare recorded the song in 1976 and the words and music were by Paul Craft. The 70s were a lost decade for me so I’m not surprised I missed this gem. Thank goodness I caught it today. I will mull over the sentiments of drop-kick me Jesus for at least the rest of the week, and to think I owe it all to the Stingray music channel which is now playing Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.

I’ll save that for another day.

P.S. I wonder if Coach Spurrier should play this song during special teams practices this fall? Hm.

 

 

 

About Sheila Morris

Sheila Morris is an essayist with humorist tendencies who periodically indulges her desires to write outside her genre by trying to write fiction and poetry. In December, 2017, the University of South Carolina Press is publishing her collection of first-person accounts of the people primarily responsible for the development of LGBT organizations in South Carolina. Southern Perspectives on the Queer Movement: Committed to Home will resonate with everyone interested in LGBT history in the South during the tumultuous times from the AIDS pandemic to marriage equality. She has published four nonfiction books including two memoirs, an essay compilation and a group of her favorite blogs from I'll Call It Like I See It. Her first book, Deep in the Heart: A Memoir of Love and Longing received a Golden Crown Literary Society Award in 2008. Her writings have been included in various anthologies - most recently the 2017 Saints and Sinners Literary Magazine. She is a displaced Texan living in South Carolina with her wife Teresa Williams and their dogs Spike and Charly. Her Texas roots are never too far from her thoughts.
This entry was posted in Humor, Lesbian Literary, Life, Personal, Random, Reflections, Slice of Life, sports, The Way Life Is and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Drop-kick me Jesus

  1. Dear Mama says:

    You know, whenever I think about Jesus the word “drop-kick” has never come to mind…until now. 😀

    Like

  2. I will never understand this, but this post made me tear up. I only really like Sooner football and although I do like country music I don’t listen to it all that much. But there is that moment when our passions collide and become something even bigger and more lovable. And I think we can all relate to that!

    Like

  3. I’m speechless. My mouth is open, but nothing’s coming out. Of course it could be waiting for bacon. I kinda got distracted. 🙂

    That song was destined to be a classic. Wins a Grammy for bizarre.

    By the way, your demons live in my toaster too, or maybe my house, as they possess every new Hamilton Beach that enters my kitchen.

    Jesus, please don’t drop me anything or anywhere. Love, my bones hurt.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ann, you are too funny! That tickled me that you got distracted by the bacon – which is something I have a devil of a time frying anyway without the country music blaring…I think tomorrow I will turn it down – the music, not the bacon. 🙂
      I’m sure Jesus understands your bones must surely ache from horseback riding and arctic cold. He will never dropkick you.
      Hugs and kisses,
      Sheila

      Like

  4. hulanne@earthlink.net says:

    Tickles me to death !!!  I’ve been smiling all day.  Thanks, Sheila.  You get off some good ones and that is an understatement.       Love,          Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Drop-kick me Jesus | I'll Call It Like I See It

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