My love affair with country music is rivaled only by my love affair with football and until very early this morning when I was frying bacon in the kitchen for Teresa to have before she went to work, I never knew their paths had crossed. Country music and football, that is.

I could hardly believe my ears. As a matter of fact, I thought I had misunderstood the words I heard. I was juggling frying bacon with fixing toast that refused to brown for some reason known only to the stove that is possessed by evil demons named Burning and Undercooking when I thought I heard the words drop-kick me Jesus blaring from the country classics radio station playing on the TV.  What’s that you say? Stick with me Jesus? Is that a country classic? Maybe gospel country music?

Two things as background. One, my AT&T U-verse decided over the weekend to change its music programming to a different venue and now uses something called Stingray for all music channels. Two, I hate change.

But I am between hell and hackeydam in this case and must use the new station if I want to hear the country classics. Many of the “classics” on this new station are different so it’s possible I won’t recognize some of the tunes I hear anymore. (Where’s Willie when you need him?)  So when I thought I heard the lyrics drop-kick me Jesus I assumed I didn’t really hear those exact words – just maybe something like those…which is common for my super-senior hearing.

But then I clearly heard the lyrics I’ve got the will Lord, if you got the toe. I dropped the fork I was frying the bacon with and rushed around the corner past the liquor cabinet to the den where the TV showed the current song and artist. Sure enough, as Granny Selma would say, Bobby Bare was singing:

Drop-kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life

End over end, neither left nor the right…

Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights

Drop-kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life.

The song went on and on with references to the departed brothers and sisters forming some sort of offensive line for us, but mostly it repeated the title enough times that I knew the refrain by heart. Actually, I doubt I’ll ever forget it. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Bobby Bare recorded the song in 1976 and the words and music were by Paul Craft. The 70s were a lost decade for me so I’m not surprised I missed this gem. Thank goodness I caught it today. I will mull over the sentiments of drop-kick me Jesus for at least the rest of the week, and to think I owe it all to the Stingray music channel which is now playing Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.

I’ll save that for another day.

P.S. I wonder if Coach Spurrier should play this song during special teams practices this fall? Hm.